Your Daily Schadenfreude
Be glad you're not this guy:
"Pathetic local man Edwin Horton's hope of becoming slightly less pathetic came one step closer to reality Wednesday, in a way, depending on how you look at it, when the part-time mailroom clerk and fern enthusiast achieved his pathetic goal of coming up with one "positive daily affirmation of selfhood" for seven consecutive days."
Good for him! Takes me back to Avenue Q:
"GARY COLEMAN:
Right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy
NICKY:
I'll say.
GARY COLEMAN:
And when I see how sad you are
It sort of makes me...
Happy!
NICKY:
Happy?!
GARY COLEMAN:
Sorry, Nicky, human nature-
Nothing I can do!
It's...
Schadenfreude!
Making me feel glad that I'm not you.
NICKY:
Well that's not very nice, Gary!
GARY COLEMAN:
I didn't say it was nice! But everybody does it!
D'ja ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses?
NICKY:
Yeah...
GARY COLEMAN:
And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters falling on their asses?
NICKY:
Sure!
GARY COLEMAN:
And don'tcha feel all warm and cozy,
Watching people out in the rain!
NICKY:
You bet!
GARY COLEMAN:
That's...
GARY AND NICKY:
Schadenfreude!
GARY COLEMAN:
People taking pleasure in your pain!
NICKY:
Oh, Schadenfreude, huh?
What's that, some kinda Nazi word?
GARY COLEMAN:
Yup! It's German for "happiness at the misfortune of others!"
NICKY:
"Happiness at the misfortune of others." That is German!
Watching a vegetarian being told she just ate chicken
GARY COLEMAN:
Or watching a frat boy realize just what he put his dick in!
NICKY:
Being on the elevator when somebody shouts "Hold the door!"
GARY AND NICKY:
"No!!!"
Schadenfreude!
GARY COLEMAN:
"Fuck you lady, that's what stairs are for!"
NICKY:
Ooh, how about...
Straight-A students getting Bs?
GARY COLEMAN:
Exes getting STDs!
NICKY:
Waking doormen from their naps!
GARY COLEMAN:
Watching tourists reading maps!
NICKY:
Football players getting tackled!
GARY COLEMAN:
CEOs getting shackled!
NICKY:
Watching actors never reach
GARY AND NICKY:
The ending of their oscar speech!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
GARY COLEMAN:
The world needs people like you and me who've been knocked around by fate.
'Cause when people see us, they don't want to be us, and that makes them feel great.
NICKY:
Sure!
We provide a vital service to society!
GARY AND NICKY:
You and me!
Schadenfreude!
Making the world a better place...
Making the world a better place...
Making the world a better place...
To be!
GARY COLEMAN:
S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!"
Word of note: Schadenfreude is not sadism, which involves taking pleasure only in causing severe physical/mental/emotional pain to others. It's more like an "It sucks to be you, which makes it not so bad to be me" type of feeling. The idea is that it's something that everyone feels at some time or another, not just sadistic or cruel people. There's just no word in English that is equivalent. It is in its essence a very German concept. Hehe. :-P
And my horoscope today: "Taurus: (April. 20-May 20) You've always feared you might run into a problem that can't be fixed by the lessons learned in Tom T. Hall's lyrics, and now that you've been appointed the new U.S. Trade Representative, that day is finally here."
I don't get it. But then, I don't know who Tom T. Hall is. Ah, well.