a kind of poll
Sorry, no clicky boxes -- answer if you feel moved.
Part One: I'm curious to see how people define the difference between loving someone and being in love. How does it work for you? Is being in love simply infatuation?
For myself, I define "being in love" as the love I feel when I'm in a Relationship. I define loving someone as what I'd feel for a beloved friend. While I trust, admire and feel a commitment to my beloved friends, it's a looser feeling and the desire for intimacy-- physical, emotional and intellectual -- is less.
There is also a strong desire for life entwinement when I'm in love, compared to loving someone. And while I want to see and be close to the people I love, being separated from someone I'm in love with is very difficult.
Part Two: Does your feelings of loving someone or being in love wax and wane? Do you have a love rheostat? Or is it more like a switch? How do you feel about people you used be in love with?
For myself, while my desire for different kinds of intimacy may fluctuate, my feeling of being in love is more like a switch -- it's either on or off. Once I'm in love with someone, it takes a strong, constant effort on my part to change that feeling, and all I've been able to change being in love to is different degrees of loving someone -- usually we never talk, but it's like I hold them in my heart.
Bonus point question: Have you ever stayed close to someone when your relationship was uneven? When one person loved, and the other was in love? How did that work?
Part One: I'm curious to see how people define the difference between loving someone and being in love. How does it work for you? Is being in love simply infatuation?
For myself, I define "being in love" as the love I feel when I'm in a Relationship. I define loving someone as what I'd feel for a beloved friend. While I trust, admire and feel a commitment to my beloved friends, it's a looser feeling and the desire for intimacy-- physical, emotional and intellectual -- is less.
There is also a strong desire for life entwinement when I'm in love, compared to loving someone. And while I want to see and be close to the people I love, being separated from someone I'm in love with is very difficult.
Part Two: Does your feelings of loving someone or being in love wax and wane? Do you have a love rheostat? Or is it more like a switch? How do you feel about people you used be in love with?
For myself, while my desire for different kinds of intimacy may fluctuate, my feeling of being in love is more like a switch -- it's either on or off. Once I'm in love with someone, it takes a strong, constant effort on my part to change that feeling, and all I've been able to change being in love to is different degrees of loving someone -- usually we never talk, but it's like I hold them in my heart.
Bonus point question: Have you ever stayed close to someone when your relationship was uneven? When one person loved, and the other was in love? How did that work?