Life is precious...
I don't quite know how to start this. A friend of mine, my favorite cop in Buffalo killed himself saturday night. Eddy Arana. When Jenny called and told me i couldn't believe the name she told me, I mean he was really the last person i expected to do that. He was such a good guy, he was the first one of the cops out there that i became close with. He's one of the two cops that I use as references for jobs. He was just such a nice person, it's so sad. I decided that i had to go out there for his wake and funeral, and got some of the guys i work with to cover my shift somehow.
Jenny and I went to the wake together. I told her beforehand that if either of us couldn't handle it we could go sit in the car and wait for the other. So we're there for not 5 minutes and jenny goes back to the car. I saw a bunch of the guys i knew and talked to them for a while. I couldn't decide whether or not to go up to the casket at first but eventually i asked Tony Marshall if he would walk up with me. I didn't realize until a little later that it was an open casket. He looked happy. I almost expected him to open his eyes and start talking to me. Luckily there was no family line to go through so it was a little easier. I kept myself pretty composed until i got back out to the car where jenny was. We started to drive home and when we were almost there she asked if we could go back. I walked with her up to the casket so she could say goodbye too. Afterwards we looked at one of the things of pictures that they had up. One of the pictures was of Eddy, and it had been cut in half so you couldn't see the other person. I recognized it immediately as one of him and I that he had held up in front of us and taken at the steer. I kind of wish that they had kept me in the picture but i figure that whoever made the display didn't know who I was.
So i thought that the funeral would be easier. I almost didn't go, but i'm really glad that i did. I didn't really know what to do since i'd never been to a funeral before, so we just stood on the steps of the church and followed everyone else's lead. Of all people, Yoda and Ramsey were there, but i'm happy they were. The four of us sat kinda close to the front, right behind a bunch of Eddys family. We saw his two daughters, being carried by people...it was so sad. I can't even imagine how devastated they are seeing as i'm devastated myself. I used to call him my father in buffalo. All you could really hear throughout the service was people sniffling (myself among them). I couldn't really keep myself as composed as i had the night before. When his sister got up to talk about him i lost it. As we walked out i looked around at everyone and i don't think there was anyone who wasn't crying.
It's just such a hard thing to think about, it's really unbelievable. I can still hear his voice, still see his face. He used to drive me to the bars and parties, he was the one that drove me downtown when i caught someone stealing, he used to come to our house just to sit and talk to us. He was such a good guy. He'll be missed. :(
Jenny and I went to the wake together. I told her beforehand that if either of us couldn't handle it we could go sit in the car and wait for the other. So we're there for not 5 minutes and jenny goes back to the car. I saw a bunch of the guys i knew and talked to them for a while. I couldn't decide whether or not to go up to the casket at first but eventually i asked Tony Marshall if he would walk up with me. I didn't realize until a little later that it was an open casket. He looked happy. I almost expected him to open his eyes and start talking to me. Luckily there was no family line to go through so it was a little easier. I kept myself pretty composed until i got back out to the car where jenny was. We started to drive home and when we were almost there she asked if we could go back. I walked with her up to the casket so she could say goodbye too. Afterwards we looked at one of the things of pictures that they had up. One of the pictures was of Eddy, and it had been cut in half so you couldn't see the other person. I recognized it immediately as one of him and I that he had held up in front of us and taken at the steer. I kind of wish that they had kept me in the picture but i figure that whoever made the display didn't know who I was.
So i thought that the funeral would be easier. I almost didn't go, but i'm really glad that i did. I didn't really know what to do since i'd never been to a funeral before, so we just stood on the steps of the church and followed everyone else's lead. Of all people, Yoda and Ramsey were there, but i'm happy they were. The four of us sat kinda close to the front, right behind a bunch of Eddys family. We saw his two daughters, being carried by people...it was so sad. I can't even imagine how devastated they are seeing as i'm devastated myself. I used to call him my father in buffalo. All you could really hear throughout the service was people sniffling (myself among them). I couldn't really keep myself as composed as i had the night before. When his sister got up to talk about him i lost it. As we walked out i looked around at everyone and i don't think there was anyone who wasn't crying.
It's just such a hard thing to think about, it's really unbelievable. I can still hear his voice, still see his face. He used to drive me to the bars and parties, he was the one that drove me downtown when i caught someone stealing, he used to come to our house just to sit and talk to us. He was such a good guy. He'll be missed. :(