These are not tears of joy
Well, this weekend was good as far as family time goes. I spent a lot of time with my mom, which is awesome because I miss her so much while I'm at school. I talk to her so much when I'm home--not even about anything, I just talk to tell her things of no importance...hah. I can tell she misses me a lot too because she always wants to be around me when I'm in the house. So it's a good situation. Especially when she takes me shopping and buys me stuff. Holy cow you have no idea how much she spoils me. It seems like every time I come home we go shopping.
We just got a satellite dish like this week or last, and all we've been watching is soccer. What's funny about this is that my dad didn't want to pay the extra 10 bucks a month to get the soccer channels, but Johnny really wanted them, so he told my dad he'd pay for them. But I don't think my dad watches anything else. Odd? I think so. I was happy though...I think I was in a trance when I first got home and was watching it; I was just staring at the TV. I can't express how much I really need to play. When I was talking to Ash Friday I told her I had a headache and she walked me through this tension release activity...and when she said to basically go to my "happy place," I pictured myself playing soccer. See, I told you. It's like an addiction. A 13 year long addiction. And I am feeling the cravings like a pregnant woman who wants chocolate.
Friend time, however, was not as good. What makes it bad is it's my fault. And I'm sorry. Too much has happened. I've become a monster. I've become someone I don't like.
So I've come to a conclusion.
It's time for a change.
Even though I don't want to admit it. Even though I don't want to put what's necessary into action. But every time I think about it, I always come back to this solution. I keep thinking about it just in case I think up something better...but I'm admitting it now: this is what needs to be done. This is what I need to do. So don't be upset with me. Please know that I'm doing it for both of us.
I'm going to be in serious need of some friends.
And right now I'm in some serious need of my Father.
EDIT:
Favorite person of the moment: Tyler Jeffrey Princing.
Least favorite person of the moment: Myself.
We just got a satellite dish like this week or last, and all we've been watching is soccer. What's funny about this is that my dad didn't want to pay the extra 10 bucks a month to get the soccer channels, but Johnny really wanted them, so he told my dad he'd pay for them. But I don't think my dad watches anything else. Odd? I think so. I was happy though...I think I was in a trance when I first got home and was watching it; I was just staring at the TV. I can't express how much I really need to play. When I was talking to Ash Friday I told her I had a headache and she walked me through this tension release activity...and when she said to basically go to my "happy place," I pictured myself playing soccer. See, I told you. It's like an addiction. A 13 year long addiction. And I am feeling the cravings like a pregnant woman who wants chocolate.
Friend time, however, was not as good. What makes it bad is it's my fault. And I'm sorry. Too much has happened. I've become a monster. I've become someone I don't like.
So I've come to a conclusion.
It's time for a change.
Even though I don't want to admit it. Even though I don't want to put what's necessary into action. But every time I think about it, I always come back to this solution. I keep thinking about it just in case I think up something better...but I'm admitting it now: this is what needs to be done. This is what I need to do. So don't be upset with me. Please know that I'm doing it for both of us.
I'm going to be in serious need of some friends.
And right now I'm in some serious need of my Father.
EDIT:
Favorite person of the moment: Tyler Jeffrey Princing.
Least favorite person of the moment: Myself.