It's the vertical lines. They're so slimming.
Thank you A. Melissa Harris.
Not really.
Well, yes really...but not really no.
All she does is give me confidence. Tell me I'm good enough. Tell me I shouldn't give up. Tell me "you're destined for more than drafting" and say "why would you ever do that?" when I ask her what she thinks of me not applying to the school of Architecture this year.
As far as days go...in relation to arch stuff...this was probably one of the best. Last night at 12:30 I finally got off my butt and went downstairs to the [freaking huge] lounge I just found out about to draw on a 38"x50" piece of paper taped to a picture window for 12 straight hours. [I went through a whole iriver battery cycle in one sitting. That's never happened before.]
I hated it and loved it at once. I was actually enjoying drawing. Nothing but me, music, the night, and a piece of blank paper waiting for me to create on it the most daring project in the class. And I hated that I could ever possibly consider not pursuing a career in architecture.
The problem is, these kinds of experiences almost never happen to me. I'm almost never excited to draw for class, especially something this huge. That's why I'm considering. Because I fear that my perception of the career is not what it truly is. Because I fear that I won't enjoy it enough. Because I fear that I won't want it enough. Because I fear know that I'm not good enough.
My GPA is lacking. And I know that if Melissa knew about it she wouldn't be so quick to convince me to stick it out.
So now what?
Now I wait. Wait for grades. Then wait for better ones. Wait another year. That's the only option I have that I can see. It would be a great experience...to just wait. To take more classes--different classes. Like dance or something. More arch prereqs that I haven't had the opportunity to take. And that way I'll be able to put together a better portfolio, complete with improved GPA. And then I'll get in. All while not stressing out nearly as much as I have been this semester.
I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
...I've never said that before. And it's scaring the crap out of me.
Not really.
Well, yes really...but not really no.
All she does is give me confidence. Tell me I'm good enough. Tell me I shouldn't give up. Tell me "you're destined for more than drafting" and say "why would you ever do that?" when I ask her what she thinks of me not applying to the school of Architecture this year.
As far as days go...in relation to arch stuff...this was probably one of the best. Last night at 12:30 I finally got off my butt and went downstairs to the [freaking huge] lounge I just found out about to draw on a 38"x50" piece of paper taped to a picture window for 12 straight hours. [I went through a whole iriver battery cycle in one sitting. That's never happened before.]
I hated it and loved it at once. I was actually enjoying drawing. Nothing but me, music, the night, and a piece of blank paper waiting for me to create on it the most daring project in the class. And I hated that I could ever possibly consider not pursuing a career in architecture.
The problem is, these kinds of experiences almost never happen to me. I'm almost never excited to draw for class, especially something this huge. That's why I'm considering. Because I fear that my perception of the career is not what it truly is. Because I fear that I won't enjoy it enough. Because I fear that I won't want it enough. Because I fear know that I'm not good enough.
My GPA is lacking. And I know that if Melissa knew about it she wouldn't be so quick to convince me to stick it out.
So now what?
Now I wait. Wait for grades. Then wait for better ones. Wait another year. That's the only option I have that I can see. It would be a great experience...to just wait. To take more classes--different classes. Like dance or something. More arch prereqs that I haven't had the opportunity to take. And that way I'll be able to put together a better portfolio, complete with improved GPA. And then I'll get in. All while not stressing out nearly as much as I have been this semester.
I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
...I've never said that before. And it's scaring the crap out of me.