5 things
THE ENTRY:
Name 5 things you've done which nobody believes and 5 things you've never done which nobody believes.
THE ANARCH:
Five Things I've Done
1. Left a bag of flaming poop on Pope Leo X's doorstep (But the old boy wouldn't touch it. He made the Swiss Guards stamp it out. I was watching from behind a pillar and Leo caught my eye. He winked, and we both giggled madly at what happened next. You should've seen the poor sod's boots)
2. Gone questing for treasure with my great-great-grandson (I thought there was still time to make a man out of him. But his last words were a girlish scream right before the bulls trampled him. Gave his mother the gold we found, but kept the rubies)
3. Shook hands with Ernest Hemingway (I don't care how manly they say he was; his was a limp little grasp that made you wonder if his stories were compensating for something)
4. Played billiards with Benjamin Disraeli (You know, Benjamin Disraeli! Ol' Ben Dizzy? C'mon, you can't say you've never heard of him. Geez, kids these days)
5. Robbed a train (The things I do for girls...)
Five Things I've Not Done
1. Gone to the moon (Do you really believe NASA? Honestly!)
2. Swam with dolphins (Those buggers are just as intelligent as the Discovery Channel claims. They won't come near me. I wonder who's been telling them things...)
3. Made snow angels (I know, I know, crazy, ain't it? Well, you try liking snow after growing up in Africa. That's some weird shit, man. Frozen water from the sky? I ain't going near that stuff!)
4. Fought in the Battle of Hastings (Damn, I wish. But Ma said I was too young, and you can't disobey your mother. What? I was a good kid, I was!)
5. Two women at the same time.
Name 5 things you've done which nobody believes and 5 things you've never done which nobody believes.
THE ANARCH:
Five Things I've Done
1. Left a bag of flaming poop on Pope Leo X's doorstep (But the old boy wouldn't touch it. He made the Swiss Guards stamp it out. I was watching from behind a pillar and Leo caught my eye. He winked, and we both giggled madly at what happened next. You should've seen the poor sod's boots)
2. Gone questing for treasure with my great-great-grandson (I thought there was still time to make a man out of him. But his last words were a girlish scream right before the bulls trampled him. Gave his mother the gold we found, but kept the rubies)
3. Shook hands with Ernest Hemingway (I don't care how manly they say he was; his was a limp little grasp that made you wonder if his stories were compensating for something)
4. Played billiards with Benjamin Disraeli (You know, Benjamin Disraeli! Ol' Ben Dizzy? C'mon, you can't say you've never heard of him. Geez, kids these days)
5. Robbed a train (The things I do for girls...)
Five Things I've Not Done
1. Gone to the moon (Do you really believe NASA? Honestly!)
2. Swam with dolphins (Those buggers are just as intelligent as the Discovery Channel claims. They won't come near me. I wonder who's been telling them things...)
3. Made snow angels (I know, I know, crazy, ain't it? Well, you try liking snow after growing up in Africa. That's some weird shit, man. Frozen water from the sky? I ain't going near that stuff!)
4. Fought in the Battle of Hastings (Damn, I wish. But Ma said I was too young, and you can't disobey your mother. What? I was a good kid, I was!)
5. Two women at the same time.