Unexpected Salvation: Chapter Eight
Title: Unexpected Salvation: Chapter Eight
Fandom: Glee
Pairings: Rachel Berry /Santana Lopez. Pezberry
Rating: NC-17 for bad language and sexual themes. It isn’t terribly graphic but it has some talk of sexual acts. Violence against woman will be an issue as well.
Word Length: 30,000+
Spoilers: All aired episodes to be sure, though I changed some things around. If you are just gushing to see the musical “Oliver” and don’t wish to see any lyrics from it then you should probably skip the section that says two days earlier…..And yes I chopped up the song a bit to fit my purposes.
Summary: Santana let Rachel go after high school in hopes that the girl she loved would follow her dreams. When they have a chance meeting ten years later, Santana sees that it is not the case at all. Her little diva has changed and not completely for the best.
Chapter summary: Pretty much Paige and/or Pezberry fluff for this one. I wanted to do something happy for this chapter because the next chapter is going to throw us into some violent agst.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Fox and Ryan Murphy do. Nor do I own the musical “Oliver”. I only own
Chapter A/N: I apologize for not depicting Rachel’s physical progression or the time frame well in the last chapter. It was brought to my attention and I feel I should address it. I’m not going to go back and rewrite it but at this point in the story it has been about thirteen weeks since the “incident” so right now it’s her fractured femur that is troubling her the most.
Thank you to all that are still interested in my little story and an extra thanks for the comments. I love you for it.
Chapter Eight- Make Things Right
Hands roaming across smooth calves, over her ass
Hands rediscovering her
Feeling their way across her new belly that still shows a hint of when it once bore life into the world
Where life was also lost, leaving it hollow
Sweet kisses trailing over skin, over scars and mostly faded bruises
The warmth of breath and then soft wetness
Soft warm wetness that feels so familiar in its quest.
Fingers examining, delving into moist folds, swiping across velvety walls thick with inviting desperation
Lips pressing into the valley between her wanton peaks
Guttural moans filling the air as fingers slip beyond folds and enter snug walls, welcoming the invasion
The liberation
Thumb caressing the pulsing bud
Digits still re-familiarizing curling deeper
A third added, the way it used to be.
Hitting the sweetest spot
Shaking, tensing, clinching, scratching
Heavy panting, lustful groans, crashing down
They found each other and they were home
Rachel rolled over feeling completely blissful. She fluttered her eyelids open, meeting dark orbs and a warm smile. “Mmmmm,” she let out with a lazy smile of her own. “How long have you been watching me Ms. Lopez?”
“About fifteen minutes give or take a few,” the lawyer replied. “You looked too cute to wake, and too sexy to take my eyes away.”
“I had the best dream ever,” chirped the smaller of the pair.
“Oh? What about?” Santana wore one of her famous smirks as she unconsciously circled patterns across the back of her girlfriend’s left hand.
“I dreamt that my sexy as hell, badass lawyer girlfriend made love to me for the first time in years and while she was the best lover I ever had, she completely out did herself this time around.”
“Wow,” chuckled the Latina. “Sounds like she’s a hot peace of ass.”
“That she is.”
“Play your cards right and you can have that dream every night,” Santana replied as she ran her hands through Rachel’s hair. She had been growing it out since she had taken up residence in the hospital and decided to continue once she had been discharged.
“I now have a greater appreciation that Paige was never the type to want to sleep with me at night.”
“Tiny tot is a force of nature,” chirped the caramel skinned woman. “She could take any monster under her bed.”
“How would a monster fit under there?” Rachel giggled. “With all those damn quarters under that thing there would be nowhere to hide. Can we please end this and take them to the bank now?”
“No can do, babe. The deal was until you’re all healed up. Your leg still has some work to do.”
“As annoyed as I am at you for starting all of that quarter business, I really love that you did that for her. It made her feel like she was helping in some way and that made her feel a little better,” There was pure adoration in the Jewish woman’s voice.
“She served the same purpose for me. I don’t know what I would have done had I not had her to focus on in that moment. We kind of needed each other.”
It had been two weeks since the pair had decided it was the right time to make things official between them but Rachel was still sporting a wrapped leg, crutches, and some physical pain that she refused to vocalize. Santana was terrified of hurting her. She’d just gotten her back after all; she didn’t want to have any setbacks. But a trip to the doctor the previous afternoon had revealed that things were moving along nicely. Thankfully the cuts to her side had been shallow so they were now simply marks. Her wrist had been healed for weeks, ribs were no longer an issue, and her face had returned to its previously beautiful state. After the doctor’s confirmation, there was no denying her little lady what she wanted. The deal was that Santana would be the one doing all the work. It was the one thing she wouldn’t budge on.
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Thirteen days earlier…….
All Brittany said was, “I expect both of you to be good to each other,” and went to grab Paige for dinner.
“It’s about time you two got you crap together. Don’t screw it up,” This of course had come from Quinn. She had had her fill of the emotional hurricane that was Pezberry so she wasn’t going to get into big discussions about it.
There were no grand announcements of their renewed romance to the other woman. They’d all figured it was more of a matter of when and not if. The first time they kissed in front of the group, they of course got soft encouraging cheers and even Quinn had a genuine smile on her lips.
That evening Erin requested Santana escort Nomi and herself to their car. The Latina braced herself for the speech to come. “Relax,” chuckled Erin, “I’m not going to give you the ‘If you hurt her I’ll bla, bla, bla’ speech.” Relived at that, the lawyer leaned herself against the silver car. Nomi chuckled and reached up to peck her tall lover on the cheek before opening the passenger side door and letting herself in.
“So what speech are you going to give me?”
“Look, I know you love Ray. I know you love Paige and they love you. There is absolutely nothing that makes me think that you would ever want to hurt them. Anyone can see that. Plus y’know I pretty much like you.”
“That’s good to know,” Santana smirked.
“Having said that…”
“Oh, here we go,” Santana sighed resisting the urge to roll her eyes.
“Oh just listen,” the taller woman didn’t bother holding back her eye roll. “What I was going to say was having said that, I will always have Ray’s back first. Well after wifey in there anyway.” She smiled adoringly and motioned at the Korean woman. “Whenever you have a disagreement, or one of you does something incredibly stupid, it’s her back I’m going to have, even when she’s wrong. I may have to be the one to tell her she’s wrong, but I will never go to you to say that you’re right.”
Santana knew what the woman was getting at. They were friends but Rachel was her priority. She felt the same way when it came to Quinn and James and Brittany and Artie. Her loyalties lay with Rachel. “I get it.”
“Good,” Erin answered back as the started walking to the driver’s side of the car. “Now thanks to all the flufftasic displays of affection between you two, my woman is ready for some serious lovin’ of her own.” She winked. “And I’m not one to disappoint.” Santana cringed and waved a quick goodbye before rushing back into the house hoping to ward off any unwanted images.
Twelve days earlier….
When Santana talked to Puck all he said was, “Same speech applies as last time.”
“Even the spank bank?”
“Especially the spank bank.” She could practically hear his eyebrows waggling.
“I’ll be sure to let your wife knows that,” she laughed.
“I don’t give a shit, Lopez,” she heard Lauran’s voice filter through the earpiece.
“The fuck, Puckerman? You could have told me I was on speaker!”
“Santana,” the man chuckled.
“What?”
“You’re on speaker.”
“Oh, fuck off!” Santana said annoyed.
“Good idea,” Puck returned. “Gotta go. My woman is jonesin’ for a ride on the Puckmister.” And he was gone. She shuddered at the implication. At least the thought of Erin and Nomi was a tolerable one. She made sure to kiss her girl thoroughly as soon as she got her alone to wash the traumatic images out of her head.
Eight days earlier….
Having grown up knowing that her grandfathers were a couple and being around Erin and Nomi, Paige pretty much understood the concept of her mother and her Auntie Santana being together. She understood that her parents were not in a relationship anymore, and had been aware of that for months as well. The girl did, however, voice other concerns.
“Are you gonna kiss and hold hands like Auntie Erin and Auntie Nomi?” The child asked with scrunched up face. The pair only ever gave each other pecks on the lips in front of Paige but they were quite the affectionate duo.
“Yeah, that’s likely to happen,” Rachel answered with a little grin. Santana chuckled.
“Gross.”
Rachel’s face began to waver so Santana picked up the conversation. “Does it bother you to think about Mommy and me being together like that?”
“Why do you have to kiss on the lips? It’s icky. Josh tried to kiss me on the lips and I…….”
“Yeah,” the mother asked, suddenly finding her voice again.
Paige huffed at having to admit to what she’d done a few days earlier. “I pushed him down and told him if he told on me I’d tell on him.” Santana couldn’t stifle the snort.
Rachel didn’t want her child to be a bully but in that case she felt like her kid had the right to defend herself from some little boy trying to force himself on her. Okay so she was probably being overly dramatic about it all in her head, but that kid had no business kissing her daughter, even if he was only five years old himself. “Well I don’t like that you had to push him but I’m not mad because you’re allowed to make someone stop touching you if it makes you feel bad.” They had had the inappropriate touching talk a few times as well. One thing Rachel never lost about herself was preparation and planning.
“Come here tiny tot,” The Latina cooed and held out her arms. Paige readily sprung up from her position between the two adults on the couch and plopped her little body into the woman’s lap. Santana wanted to do this right. She wanted to say all the right things and reassure the girl in every way. Realizing that there was no way they were going to accomplish all of that in one conversation so she decided to stick with the most important points. Rachel scooted her body over so that they were hip to hip. “When grownups love each other they like to hold hands and kiss. I’ll try really hard not to do that too much in front of you but I really love your mommy so it’s going to be pretty hard not to. I’ve loved her for a very long time. I missed her a lot and I may forget and end up holding her hand and kissing her more than I mean to because I didn’t get to for so long.”
Paige looked at her mother and saw her smile wide. She was only five but even she could see that she never remembered seeing her mom smile like that at her daddy, or anyone else for that matter. Her mommy had a special smile reserved only for her, but this was different. “Are you going to get married too? Auntie Erin and Auntie Nomi said that they wanted to get married someday like granddad Hiram and granddaddy Leroy.”
“Paigey, Santana and I have a lot to work out and need some more time together before we think about anything like that. But if we decide to you’d be the first person to know, okay?”
“You promise?”
“Of course, we would have to tell our favorite girl very first,” the lawyer said heartily.
Paige beamed up at her Auntie Santana, though the smile soon turned into a sad one “Are you going to be mean to Mommy? I don’t like it when she’s sad.”
Rachel went to answer but her lover gave her a gentile look that said ‘let me try to explain’ so she closed her mouth. “I don’t like to see her sad either. I can’t promise that we won’t argue because we both can be really hard headed when we want to be. I can promise that I won’t do what daddy did because that isn’t love. You don’t hurt the people that you love that way.” Paige seemed to believe her but it was understood as to why she would have misgivings when it came to her mom in a relationship. The only one she’d ever seen her in, was abusive emotionally, verbally, and physically. Santana reached into her pocket and brought out the charm bracelet Rachel had given her all those years ago. “I want to show you something,” she said as she dangled the piece of jewelry in front of the tiny brunette. “Your mom gave me this back when we went to school together. See the little gold stars?”
Paige nodded. “Can I hold it?”
“Sure you can.” Santana placed the shiny gift into onto the little girl’s palm. “I kept it because it made me feel close to her even when she was far away.”
“It’s pretty,” Paige said in awe as she marveled at it.
“Thank you. Maybe when you get a little older you can borrow it.” Both Rachel and her junior found themselves nuzzling into a very delighted Santana in contentment.
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Six days earlier…..
Brittany and Quinn had put their own lives aside for a few months in order to help their friend recover but now it was time to get back to them. The day prior to the departure was full of laughs and tears. Even Erin and Nomi had become fairly close to the two blondes during their stay. Erin and Quinn had started off rocky but the taller woman was eventually able to see just how much Quinn really did care for Rachel. Nomi wasn’t privy to much chatter and had a tendency to stay out of altercations; however, she still managed a friendship with the others. At first she felt like somewhat of an outsider as did they all at some point, seeing as how half of them knew Rachel in one life and the other knew her in another. As their lives began to intertwine those feeling began to dissolve.
Paige took it the hardest and wouldn’t speak to either of them for a few hours. It took Quinn explaining how they lived in other places and that the their jobs and the men in their lives had been very understanding about them being gone for so long but that it was time to go back to them. There were promises and invitations to visit, which made it a little bit easier on the girl. What got her to completely accept it and be happy was what came out of Brittany’s mouth.
“Can I tell you a secret?” The tall blond said without trying to quiet her voice. She bent down to look Paige in the eye. The tiny girl bit her bottom lip in anticipation. “I’m going to have a baby so I really need to get back to my boyfriend.” Apparently during the two weeks she’d gone home before Rachel had been released from the hospital, she and Artie made up for lost time quite a bit. The room was quickly filled with gasps and congratulations. Paige jumped up and down. “When it comes out of my tummy he or she will be your little cousin,” the blond said excitedly.
“I get a cousin!” She squealed to her mother.
“Yes you do,” Rachel responded with just as much excitement in her voice.
Santana pulled her oldest friend into a hug. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I wanted to wait a while to make sure everything was right. I went to the doctor here but I set up an appointment with a doctor at home too.”
“Between you and Artie that kid is going to be a dancing generous, with major chops,” said the lawyer.
“That’s the plan,” the dancer said rubbing her well hidden baby bump.
“My turn for a hug,” Quinn said almost teary-eyed. Before she could let go Nomi and Erin had joined in.
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Two days earlier….
The first day that Santana had to go to work after Brittany and Quinn had gone home made her a wreck. The police were no longer doing their drives through the neighborhood much to her chagrin. She wanted to hire someone to guard her girlfriend and the girl who had come to be like a daughter, but Rachel refused to let her do it. She was sick of living in constant fear and having to be babysat. According to the former diva, Santana’s security system would suffice.
The Latina inwardly contemplated getting a gun and locking it up in her safe, however; even if she kept it from Rachel, the thought of Paige somehow stumbling across it completely ejected the idea from her brain. In an attempt to end the argument, Nomi volunteered to stay with her during the day for a couple of weeks since she had already been slated to pick Paige up from school midday and mostly working from home anyway. The two women agreed but Santana was still on edge. As soon as she could she was out of her office and on her way home. When she got there she was met with the most beautiful sound she’d heard in years.
I'll do anything
For you dear anything
For you mean everything to me.
I know that
I'll go anywhere
For your smile, anywhere --
The former diva was belting out this happy go lucky song that the lawyer had never heard before. For the first time in so long, her lover sang without sadness or strain. There was pure happiness lacing every word. Paige danced in front of her mother in the dining room as she sang.
For your smile, ev'rywhere --
I'd see.
I'd risk everything
For one kiss -- everything
Yes, I'd do anything...
Anything for you!!
“Again mommy, again.”
“Yes. Again mommy, again,” Santana mimicked.
“Oh, Santana!” Rachel turned to get a view of her girlfriend. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
“You were a little preoccupied,” she laughed.
“Oh, yeah. Ever since I went to see “Oliver” I’ve had that song stuck in my head. I finally decided it was okay to sing it.”
“I miss that voice.”
“I didn’t realize until now how much I missed it too.”
“I don’t have any meeting tomorrow until two 2:30 so I can accompany you to the doctor tomorrow,” Santana said as she plopped down in a chair next to Rachel.
“Great,” the little brunette chirped. “Nomi can have some babysitting reprieve.”
“So where is Nomi?” Santana said, suddenly furrowing her brow.
“She’s in the guestroom getting some work done. She has a deadline to meet.”
Santana sighed with relief. “Okay.”
“Mommy, again. Please?” Paige said once more.
Rachel looked to her girlfriend. “Hey, don’t look at me,” giggled the lawyer. “I’m with tiny tot on this one.”
“Well who am I to pass up a standing ovation,” joked the shorter woman.
I'll do anything
For you dear anything…..
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The night before…... Post coital cuddling
“How could you humiliate me like that? You were all over Phil in front of all my co-workers; in front of my fucking boss!”
“I was not. We were talking, that’s it. Why would you think anything less of me? I’d never do that.”
“And would it kill you wear a skirt that didn’t make you look like a little tramp!”
“You didn’t say anything about my skirt when we left the house,” Rachel reasoned.
“I’m sorry I can’t be your precious high school sweetheart.”
“I didn’t ask you to be. I never wanted that from you. I just wanted you to love me. Where did that even come from?” Rachel spat at the tall man with broad shoulders.
“You don’t think I see you looking at every guy around here. You’ve been talking to him haven’t you? You’re waiting for him to come get you.”
“You’re not making any sense. We’re married, Jimmy. You and I are married with a child. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Damn right you’re not! You said vows.”
“I know I did and I’m honoring them, which is a lot more than I can say for you!”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean huh?”
“I know you’ve been screwing around. I had to come back home to grab my wallet, I saw you the other day. What possessed you to do that in our home? The place where we’re raising our daughter? The bed you share with me? Was she really worth that?” Rachel’s eyes began to well with tears.
“Yes, because I wouldn’t have to if you would act like a wife. You’re too busy trying to get back on that stage and find your way back to some guy who hasn’t thought about you in years. If he really loved you Rachie, why the fuck isn’t he here? Face it; I’m the only one who wants anything to do with you. You’re pathetic. All anyone’s going to want with you is a piece of ass and that isn’t worth much,” The man seethed.
“That’s not true!” She yelled desperately.
“Oh, but it is.”
“Go have a drink Jimmy. It’ll calm you down.” It was crazy how it was so bass ackwards with her husband. He was calmer drunk than sober.
“Don’t tell me what to do damn it. You’re my wife, I run this house.” Before he could finish the sentence he’d delivered the first blow. The slap would lead to more slaps, and then pushes, punches, the death of a child and eventually a broken woman on a living room floor and a cowering child in the next room, hoping that her mother would be okay.
Santana watched as her girlfriend dreamed next to her. She knew that Rachel had abandonment issues. It hadn’t even taken her own foray into therapy a couple of years earlier to figure that out. Rachel had been abandoned by most of the few people that claimed to care about her in her life up until recently, so it made sense that she would abandon her friends once she left Lima. It wasn’t right, but it was understandable.
Hiram and Leroy loved their daughter dearly but they didn’t really show much interest in her day to day life once she’d become a teenager. Then there was Puck who dropped her in favor of popularity when seventh grade came around, though they were able to reconnect by junior year. Jesse had befriended her under false pretenses and then proceeded to claim to love her, only to breakup with her in front of their glee clubs and then humiliate her by egging her in her own school parking lot. Then there had been Finn. He broke her heart repeatedly for a year and a half and played the good natured sweetheart while she was portrayed as the overbearing loser who was lucky to have him sacrifice bits of popularity by being seen with her. Even mister Shuster, who had been Rachel’s favorite teacher, sat around and allowed people to verbally abuse her, yet didn’t mind reprimanding her when she acted out. Shelby took the cake. She’d gone out of her way to manipulate Rachel into finding her as an attempt to keep from violating a contract. Once she had gotten a chance to meet her, she went on to tell her that she wasn’t what she wanted and sent her on her way. To add insult to injury, she turned around and replaced her with the child of a friend who’d abandoned her a few years prior and a girl who hated her and actively made her life miserable for years. Santana herself had also left Rachel. Even if they both knew the reasons were noble, that one stung right up there with Shelby.
So Santana could understand why Rachel would leave it all behind her once she got to New York. She supposed that all of that stuff had something to do with why Rachel stayed in an abusive marriage for so long. Every time she heard her lover whimper in her sleep or saw flicker of her fear cross her face she got angry and sad all over again. Most of it was directed at Jimmy, though she had some resentment for a hell of a lot of other people, including her and even a little for the very lover in her arms who was squirming away in her slumber.
She supposed she couldn’t fault Rachel for getting into a relationship with the man in the first place. From what she’d been told he was a charmer and he told her all the things she’d wanted to hear. For the first time Rachel was involved with someone that was clingy with her and not the other way around. And though Santana hated that they’d been involved sexually, she understood that there would have not been a Paige Santana Howard if there had not been. So she also knew that Rachel would never regret having been with the man in the first place. Rachel had told her one night that Jimmy was the type to hold on too tight. He could smother you until all you thought you had left was him. She knew that no matter how many business trips or affairs he had he’d always come back to her and Paige. But she often believed if she could just love him better that he would quit punishing her for still loving Santana. The thought had made the Latina sick to the point where she ended up racing to the bathroom to empty the contents of her stomach.
Santana’s musings were halted by a shake of the body next to her. Her partner seemed to be a bit more distressed than mere minutes earlier which motivated the lawyer to wake her from whatever discomfort she was feeling.
“Rach, wake up.” She gently shook the other woman. “Wake up baby. Come on. Wake up for me.” Rachel’s eyes groggily opened. “Hey there. It sounded like you could use a break from sleeping.”
Rachel went to speak but found that her throat was dry. She slowly sat up and reached for the glass of water on the nightstand greedily took in half the glass.
“Want to talk about it?” Santana asked.
“I know I was dreaming I’m just not sure what it was about,” the former diva admitted.
“Still, is there anything you want to talk about?” Santana repeated.
“No. I just want to lay with you and enjoy the afterglow of what we did earlier.”
“You got it,” said Santana. The two nestled back into one another intertwining fingers and went on about getting a good night’s sleep.