[FIC] Harry Potter -- POST HBP
My first attempt at post HBP fanfiction came out rather dark. And heterosexual. Weird.
Title: What She Wants
Rating: R
Pairing: Harry/Ginny, Harry/Hermione/Ron
Spoilers: SS/PS -- HBP
Summary: Summer at the Weasley house.
Warnings: Threesome, sex magic, Ginny POV, HBP spoilers
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Apologies to J.K. Rowling.
Ron stopped talking when he saw me, and Harry and Hermione turned around to see why he'd stopped. Hermione gave me a small smile, but Harry just looked annoyed. I saw Ron try to stash some parchment behind his back.
"Who invited you?" he asked rudely.
"Mum said to tell you it's time to eat," I said. That wasn't what I wanted to say. It wasn't true, either. But somehow, after seeing the look on Harry's face, the way Hermione's eyes darted embarrassingly from mine, I no longer wanted to ask to be included. Because I knew the answer already.
They started as a threesome, and they wanted to end that way.
"We'll be there in a minute," Ron said. He didn't say "go away", but it was plain in his demeanor. I could tell that both Harry and Hermione were waiting for me to leave, too, so they could continue making plans. Plans I didn't fit into.
"Don't bother," I said, tone deliberately light and airy. "I was lying, anyway." I didn't want them to think it mattered, that it hurt.
I was going to go in, had started to turn go back inside, but I hesitated. Harry and Hermione had already turned around, dismissing me with their posture. And I realized, if they were going to treat me like Ron's annoying sister, then I was going to act like it. Maybe, if they saw me enough, they'd get used to the idea that I wasn't going anywhere.
Ron noticed I hadn't left "Go away," he said sharply.
"No," I said.
Harry didn't say anything, didn't even look at me. There was a long, embarrassing silence. It was Hermione who finally spoke. "You can't come with us," she said. "You must see that."
"I don't," I said. "You need me."
"You'd be distraction," Harry said, curt. "One I can't afford."
"I can hold my own!" I exclaimed. "I can help."
It was Hermione who broke away, finally. She came over. Cupped my hands condescendingly, and I pulled them roughly away. "We don't need your help," she said.
"Yes, you--"
"We've done fine without your help before," she interrupted. Still, her voice was kind. It was infuriating. I wasn't some child that needed to be coddled. I didn't need her patronizing explanations.
"Excuse me?" I stuttered on the words, which just made me more furious. "You're going up against Voldemort. You need all the help you can get."
"You're too young," Ron snapped. "Now can we get on with it?"
Hermione winced, but nodded. "Ron's right, Ginny."
"You were fighting Voldemort when you were ELEVEN!" I yelled. "I fought him last year, the year before that! I'm too young?"
"You can't use magic outside of the school." This was stated bluntly, coldly. Hermione had discarded her false sweetness. It was a relief.
"Right," I drawled, "like the ministry is going to have time to worry about underage magic. Please."
"The best place for you is Hogwarts," Harry said, speaking up finally. "With Dumbledore gone...and the rest of us...it's going to be far more defenseless than it has been. I'm hoping Voldemort and the Death Eaters will be too preoccupied with me, but if not--" Ron spluttered, but Harry continued, "if not, it'll be up to people like you, and Neville and Luna, to defend the school."
That gave me a warm feeling, that he would trust me to protect the school. Then I saw his face. He didn't care. He didn't expect the Death Eaters to come after the school, and he didn't expect me to be able to do a damn thing if they did. I spent six years watching him, half a year fucking him. I learned too much for him to fool me, distract me that easily.
Bastard.
"Bastard!" I yelled out loud. Harry didn't even have the decency to respond. Hermione gripped my shoulders.
"It's true!" she exclaimed. She kept making darting glances to Ron and Harry. Ron looked impatient. Harry looked...well, hurt. Good. "Ginny," she said. She had that expression, the critical thinking, I will find a solution look. So they needed to get rid of me. I was screwing up some plan of theirs.
Well, that was fine with me.
"Ginny," she said again. Her expression softened. "It's true. We need you at Hogwarts. Besides, with Harry gone, who will be Gryffindor seeker? In fact, they might even make you team captain."
It took me a moment to really comprehend what she had just said, I was so shocked. Is that what she thought of me? She really thought I would just happily let my boyfriend--excuse me, ex-boyfriend--go off and do something stupid and dangerous, all so I could play Quidditch?
"You bitch," I snarled. Hermione stepped back, as if I'd slapped her. Good. "You think I give a fuck about a stupid game at a time like this?"
"Ginny," Ron warned. He was getting red in the face.
"You NEED me!" I yelled. To my horror, I could feel tears pricking at my eyes. "You need someone with a little perspective. You need someone to keep things together when your bickering gets bad. I've seen you three...you don't have a chance in hell of keeping your little army allied to fight Voldemort when you can't even do it at school!" I chocked, and shoved the palms of my hands into my eyes to try to stop the tears. Fucking embarrassing. "I care about you!" I shouted to Harry. "I don't want you to die. You need me. Let me come with you. Please." God, I was begging now. I pressed my lips tightly together. I wasn't going to beg. Not for him.
No one said anything. Hermione let her arms drop and stepped back. No one would look at me, either. Ginny Weasley had gone a little crazy, and no one likes to watch a crazy person.
Then, slowly, Harry started to make his way towards me. Hermione stepped out of his way. He cupped my shoulders. "I do need you at the school," he said, softly.
"No, you don't," I said.
His face darkened. "I can't have you come with us. If you care about me, like you say, you'll trust me on this."
"I--"
"No," he interrupted. "I don't care. You'll be a liability, nothing more. You think you can help. You can't. You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know what we're dealing with."
"Voldemort," I said.
"But what's that mean, Ginny?" Harry laughed, a short, bitter, ruthless sound. I grimaced. "You don't know him. Not really. And Ginny..." his voice trailed off, and he looked over my shoulder. When he turned back, his eyes were darkened. He seemed older. Sadder. "Ginny," he said, "there's a darkness. A darkness we have to fight, and a darkness we have to use to fight with. I don't want that darkness touching you."
I had nothing to say to that.
He squeezed my shoulders in a move I'm sure he thought was comforting. He gave me a brotherly kiss on the cheek. It was amazing to think that I'd ever been in bed with him, ever felt him thrusting inside me, his hot lips on my neck. Amazing to think I'd held him as he cried into my shoulder. He was a stranger--more than a stranger. Like he'd been kissed by a dementor and someone else had taken up residence in his vacated shell.
"Fuck you," I whispered. I ran back into the house. No one called for me, and I didn't look back.
*~*~*
Hermione didn't come back to my room that night, not that I expected her to. She'd spent most of her time with Ron, making up for six years of bullshit between them.
Harry hadn't offered his bed. I hadn't asked.
There was a sharp thump above my head, coming from the attic. I thought at first that it was our ghost, but a low, feminine moan quickly cleared me of that notion. So that was what Hermione sounded like, I thought. I'd been a bit curious. Uptight, prudish Hermione. I still couldn't reconcile the thought of her and my brother.
Another moan, masculine this time. Ew. I didn't need to hear that. I grabbed a pillow and held it over my ears. No use. Stupid thin walls.
"Her-Hermione!" Ron gasped, loudly. Merlin, didn't they care that people were around? Put up a fucking silencing spell.
"Ron," Hermione moaned. I rolled my eyes. So predictable, so very tame. No dirty talk between those two, I was sure. Hermione was on her back, most definately, and Ron was awkwardly between her legs. Towards the end of the year, Harry had relented and started trying out new positions. He kept promising to reciprocate the oral sex. Never did. Fucker.
There was another thump, and another moan. I reached under my mattress, felt around for the flask. Fred had passed me a couple bottles of firewisky the last summer. "For emergencies," he said, "and don't let Mum catch you. And if she does, lie."
This was certainly an emergency. I pulled it out and took a gulp. It burned, but it was supposed to. I didn't cough. It had taken me awhile to get used to it, but I wasn't a baby anymore. Could probably drink Harry under the table.
Harry. I took another swig.
"Slow down!" Hermione yelled. I chuckled, crudely. Poor Ron. What would they think, if they knew I was listening? I thought about putting a silencing spell around my room to block out the noise, but I was already a bit dull from the alcohol. Plus, there was the underage magic thing. Thought about asking Mum, but I had no clue what I'd say. Knew I would never ask Harry for anything. I took another drink. It was some cruel drinking game--one swig every time I thought of Harry, two for every one of Hermione's moans, three when they started talking.
There was a thud, like something had fallen hard on the floor. Some plaster fell from the roof. I couldn't help the laughter that escaped. What had happened? Had Ron fallen off? Did Hermione push him off?"
"I'm such a pervert," I murmured. I couldn't help but take another sip. Two sips.
"Now, Harry!" Hermione gasped.
Wait.
Harry?
And then, sure enough, I heard Harry's voice, strained and breathless. I knew that voice, his sex voice. I was the first person he'd shared it with. And now...
"MOTHER!" I yelled, and took off down the stairs.
*~*~*
Mum was at the kitchen table, knitting a sock. I knew she was agitated. She always forgoes magic and starts cooking or mending when something's really bothering her. Her hands were clenched around the needles.
"Goodness, aren't you asleep?" she asked, a terrible parody of normality. "Would you like some warm milk?"
"Do you know what's going on upstairs?" I hissed.
Her needles dropped the floor with a loud clang. She bent down to pick them up. There was a squeak and a thud from upstairs, and then a long string of words I couldn't make out, though they sounded vaguely latin. Harry's voice again.
Mum didn't say anything. She knew. Of course she knew, nothing went on inside the house that she wasn't aware of. And yet she just sat there and resumed knitting.
"Aren't you going to do something?" I exclaimed.
"Have a seat, Ginny dear," she said. It was said softly, kindly, but there was a hard edge behind her words, an edge I'd learned to obey. I sat.
Harry kept talking, and now I could hear Ron and Hermione's voices join in. So I was wrong, they did have a kinky side. Hermione broke off in a moan. Harry was probably going down on her. Hell, they'd probably been doing it all year. "Can't they put up a silencing spell?"
Mum blushed, and didn't look at me. "It would interfere with the magic..." her voice trailed off. She pulled apart the last knot she'd done and started over.
"Magic?" Then I understood. "Magic. They're doing sex magic up there."
After a moment's hesitation, Mum nodded.
"And you're okay with that?"
"Of course not!" she growled. She faltered again, then threw the needles away. They rolled across the table and hit the floor. "But they're of age, they're going away, and if I denied them one weapon in their arsenal...kept them away from something that might save them...and they...they died..." she choked, and a tear fell from her cheek to her hand, rolled off her thumb.
She stood up and turned away. Her shoulders shook. I wondered if I should go over to her. Mum and I have never been especially close. I'm not her ideal daughter. I don't like being smothered. I can't remember the last time I just hugged her, let myself be held by her. So I stayed back and watched, feeling helpless.
Finally, she turned around. All traces of tears were gone. "It's time for you to be in bed," she said.
I could have fought. It was far before my usual bedtime, anyway. But I knew what Mum was doing, regaining control, and I didn't have the heart to take away her illusions. "Okay," I said. "I'll go on upstairs."
There was another loud thump, and Ron yelped, "Merlin!"
Mum cringed. "On second thought," she said, "why don't I make you up a bed in the living room?"
*~*~*
The changes were small, but noticeable over time. Harry would finish Hermione's sentences, or Ron would grab something for Harry before he asked. They were linked, in some way. Something had happened that night in the attic.
Well. At least it wasn't for nothing.
They still shared a room, though Mum pretended she didn't care. If they did anything, they kept a spell up. Obviously, whatever magic they'd started was complete. So now they stayed together...for fun? I didn't know. Just knew that once again, in the most painful way possible, I was on the outside.
They didn't speak much to me, and I didn't speak to them at all. I went back to the meek eleven year old I'd been. Was that what Harry wanted of me? When he entered, I left. Actually, I spent most of my time in my room.
One afternoon, towards the end of summer, there was a knock at my door. I quickly capped the flask and pushed it back under the mattress. "Come in," I said. I didn't stand up. I wasn't drunk, really, but I didn't want to act suspicious.
Harry walked in. "Oh, it's you," I said.
He sat next to me on the bed. "You know," he said.
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
"I do care about you," he said.
"I'm sure." I turned away.
He put his hand gently on my chin and brought me around to face him. "I loved you," he said. "Love you. But you know why..."
"I would have," I hissed. "For you."
"I know," he said. "I couldn't ask that of you." There was a pause, and he smiled. "Ron says, 'EW', by the way."
"He can hear me? So you're connected? All the time?" In spite of myself, I was curious.
"It's getting stronger," Harry said. "We'll have to leave soon. I just wanted you to know..."
"I'll take care of Hogwarts," I said. I didn't want any declarations of love, any rationalizations. I wanted him to leave. I wanted another drink. Fuck, I wanted some of the drugs Fred and George kept. I wondered if I could arrange another visit to their shop...
"I know you will," Harry said. He looked as though he was going to say more. Then he kissed me.
I let myself fall into it for a moment. It felt good, to kiss this boy I loved. He tried to slip me his tongue and I pulled back. Slapped him.
"You don't have the right," I said, as cold as I could. I wanted to kiss him, though, was so close to pressing my lips to his. To letting go. I wanted to feel him against me in the worst way.
Harry held his injured cheek, looking stung. He reached for me again. I jumped off the bed. Wobbled a bit, and grabbed my dresser to keep steady. "Get out!" I said.
"Okay," he said. "I understand." But he stopped at the door, showing he didn't understand, not really. "I'll always lo--"
I hurled the nearest object, a glass unicorn statue. It bounced off his shoulder and hit the floor, shattering. Harry looked between me and the unicorn's remains. His face closed up. He nodded slightly, and pulled the door shut behind him.
"You fucker," I hissed. I bit my lip. I wasn't going to cry. Not for him.
I went through my bag for my wand. Walked over to the unicorn. Didn't care much if I got expelled for underage magic. Nothing much mattered. Whispered the spell, and after a couple tries, the unicorn was back to normal.
It was a small rebellion, and stupid. Still made me feel better. I set the figurine back on my dresser. Sat on my bed. I heard the front door slam. Heard Mum start to cry.
They were gone.
***END***
As always, C&C is wonderful.
Title: What She Wants
Rating: R
Pairing: Harry/Ginny, Harry/Hermione/Ron
Spoilers: SS/PS -- HBP
Summary: Summer at the Weasley house.
Warnings: Threesome, sex magic, Ginny POV, HBP spoilers
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Apologies to J.K. Rowling.
Ron stopped talking when he saw me, and Harry and Hermione turned around to see why he'd stopped. Hermione gave me a small smile, but Harry just looked annoyed. I saw Ron try to stash some parchment behind his back.
"Who invited you?" he asked rudely.
"Mum said to tell you it's time to eat," I said. That wasn't what I wanted to say. It wasn't true, either. But somehow, after seeing the look on Harry's face, the way Hermione's eyes darted embarrassingly from mine, I no longer wanted to ask to be included. Because I knew the answer already.
They started as a threesome, and they wanted to end that way.
"We'll be there in a minute," Ron said. He didn't say "go away", but it was plain in his demeanor. I could tell that both Harry and Hermione were waiting for me to leave, too, so they could continue making plans. Plans I didn't fit into.
"Don't bother," I said, tone deliberately light and airy. "I was lying, anyway." I didn't want them to think it mattered, that it hurt.
I was going to go in, had started to turn go back inside, but I hesitated. Harry and Hermione had already turned around, dismissing me with their posture. And I realized, if they were going to treat me like Ron's annoying sister, then I was going to act like it. Maybe, if they saw me enough, they'd get used to the idea that I wasn't going anywhere.
Ron noticed I hadn't left "Go away," he said sharply.
"No," I said.
Harry didn't say anything, didn't even look at me. There was a long, embarrassing silence. It was Hermione who finally spoke. "You can't come with us," she said. "You must see that."
"I don't," I said. "You need me."
"You'd be distraction," Harry said, curt. "One I can't afford."
"I can hold my own!" I exclaimed. "I can help."
It was Hermione who broke away, finally. She came over. Cupped my hands condescendingly, and I pulled them roughly away. "We don't need your help," she said.
"Yes, you--"
"We've done fine without your help before," she interrupted. Still, her voice was kind. It was infuriating. I wasn't some child that needed to be coddled. I didn't need her patronizing explanations.
"Excuse me?" I stuttered on the words, which just made me more furious. "You're going up against Voldemort. You need all the help you can get."
"You're too young," Ron snapped. "Now can we get on with it?"
Hermione winced, but nodded. "Ron's right, Ginny."
"You were fighting Voldemort when you were ELEVEN!" I yelled. "I fought him last year, the year before that! I'm too young?"
"You can't use magic outside of the school." This was stated bluntly, coldly. Hermione had discarded her false sweetness. It was a relief.
"Right," I drawled, "like the ministry is going to have time to worry about underage magic. Please."
"The best place for you is Hogwarts," Harry said, speaking up finally. "With Dumbledore gone...and the rest of us...it's going to be far more defenseless than it has been. I'm hoping Voldemort and the Death Eaters will be too preoccupied with me, but if not--" Ron spluttered, but Harry continued, "if not, it'll be up to people like you, and Neville and Luna, to defend the school."
That gave me a warm feeling, that he would trust me to protect the school. Then I saw his face. He didn't care. He didn't expect the Death Eaters to come after the school, and he didn't expect me to be able to do a damn thing if they did. I spent six years watching him, half a year fucking him. I learned too much for him to fool me, distract me that easily.
Bastard.
"Bastard!" I yelled out loud. Harry didn't even have the decency to respond. Hermione gripped my shoulders.
"It's true!" she exclaimed. She kept making darting glances to Ron and Harry. Ron looked impatient. Harry looked...well, hurt. Good. "Ginny," she said. She had that expression, the critical thinking, I will find a solution look. So they needed to get rid of me. I was screwing up some plan of theirs.
Well, that was fine with me.
"Ginny," she said again. Her expression softened. "It's true. We need you at Hogwarts. Besides, with Harry gone, who will be Gryffindor seeker? In fact, they might even make you team captain."
It took me a moment to really comprehend what she had just said, I was so shocked. Is that what she thought of me? She really thought I would just happily let my boyfriend--excuse me, ex-boyfriend--go off and do something stupid and dangerous, all so I could play Quidditch?
"You bitch," I snarled. Hermione stepped back, as if I'd slapped her. Good. "You think I give a fuck about a stupid game at a time like this?"
"Ginny," Ron warned. He was getting red in the face.
"You NEED me!" I yelled. To my horror, I could feel tears pricking at my eyes. "You need someone with a little perspective. You need someone to keep things together when your bickering gets bad. I've seen you three...you don't have a chance in hell of keeping your little army allied to fight Voldemort when you can't even do it at school!" I chocked, and shoved the palms of my hands into my eyes to try to stop the tears. Fucking embarrassing. "I care about you!" I shouted to Harry. "I don't want you to die. You need me. Let me come with you. Please." God, I was begging now. I pressed my lips tightly together. I wasn't going to beg. Not for him.
No one said anything. Hermione let her arms drop and stepped back. No one would look at me, either. Ginny Weasley had gone a little crazy, and no one likes to watch a crazy person.
Then, slowly, Harry started to make his way towards me. Hermione stepped out of his way. He cupped my shoulders. "I do need you at the school," he said, softly.
"No, you don't," I said.
His face darkened. "I can't have you come with us. If you care about me, like you say, you'll trust me on this."
"I--"
"No," he interrupted. "I don't care. You'll be a liability, nothing more. You think you can help. You can't. You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know what we're dealing with."
"Voldemort," I said.
"But what's that mean, Ginny?" Harry laughed, a short, bitter, ruthless sound. I grimaced. "You don't know him. Not really. And Ginny..." his voice trailed off, and he looked over my shoulder. When he turned back, his eyes were darkened. He seemed older. Sadder. "Ginny," he said, "there's a darkness. A darkness we have to fight, and a darkness we have to use to fight with. I don't want that darkness touching you."
I had nothing to say to that.
He squeezed my shoulders in a move I'm sure he thought was comforting. He gave me a brotherly kiss on the cheek. It was amazing to think that I'd ever been in bed with him, ever felt him thrusting inside me, his hot lips on my neck. Amazing to think I'd held him as he cried into my shoulder. He was a stranger--more than a stranger. Like he'd been kissed by a dementor and someone else had taken up residence in his vacated shell.
"Fuck you," I whispered. I ran back into the house. No one called for me, and I didn't look back.
*~*~*
Hermione didn't come back to my room that night, not that I expected her to. She'd spent most of her time with Ron, making up for six years of bullshit between them.
Harry hadn't offered his bed. I hadn't asked.
There was a sharp thump above my head, coming from the attic. I thought at first that it was our ghost, but a low, feminine moan quickly cleared me of that notion. So that was what Hermione sounded like, I thought. I'd been a bit curious. Uptight, prudish Hermione. I still couldn't reconcile the thought of her and my brother.
Another moan, masculine this time. Ew. I didn't need to hear that. I grabbed a pillow and held it over my ears. No use. Stupid thin walls.
"Her-Hermione!" Ron gasped, loudly. Merlin, didn't they care that people were around? Put up a fucking silencing spell.
"Ron," Hermione moaned. I rolled my eyes. So predictable, so very tame. No dirty talk between those two, I was sure. Hermione was on her back, most definately, and Ron was awkwardly between her legs. Towards the end of the year, Harry had relented and started trying out new positions. He kept promising to reciprocate the oral sex. Never did. Fucker.
There was another thump, and another moan. I reached under my mattress, felt around for the flask. Fred had passed me a couple bottles of firewisky the last summer. "For emergencies," he said, "and don't let Mum catch you. And if she does, lie."
This was certainly an emergency. I pulled it out and took a gulp. It burned, but it was supposed to. I didn't cough. It had taken me awhile to get used to it, but I wasn't a baby anymore. Could probably drink Harry under the table.
Harry. I took another swig.
"Slow down!" Hermione yelled. I chuckled, crudely. Poor Ron. What would they think, if they knew I was listening? I thought about putting a silencing spell around my room to block out the noise, but I was already a bit dull from the alcohol. Plus, there was the underage magic thing. Thought about asking Mum, but I had no clue what I'd say. Knew I would never ask Harry for anything. I took another drink. It was some cruel drinking game--one swig every time I thought of Harry, two for every one of Hermione's moans, three when they started talking.
There was a thud, like something had fallen hard on the floor. Some plaster fell from the roof. I couldn't help the laughter that escaped. What had happened? Had Ron fallen off? Did Hermione push him off?"
"I'm such a pervert," I murmured. I couldn't help but take another sip. Two sips.
"Now, Harry!" Hermione gasped.
Wait.
Harry?
And then, sure enough, I heard Harry's voice, strained and breathless. I knew that voice, his sex voice. I was the first person he'd shared it with. And now...
"MOTHER!" I yelled, and took off down the stairs.
*~*~*
Mum was at the kitchen table, knitting a sock. I knew she was agitated. She always forgoes magic and starts cooking or mending when something's really bothering her. Her hands were clenched around the needles.
"Goodness, aren't you asleep?" she asked, a terrible parody of normality. "Would you like some warm milk?"
"Do you know what's going on upstairs?" I hissed.
Her needles dropped the floor with a loud clang. She bent down to pick them up. There was a squeak and a thud from upstairs, and then a long string of words I couldn't make out, though they sounded vaguely latin. Harry's voice again.
Mum didn't say anything. She knew. Of course she knew, nothing went on inside the house that she wasn't aware of. And yet she just sat there and resumed knitting.
"Aren't you going to do something?" I exclaimed.
"Have a seat, Ginny dear," she said. It was said softly, kindly, but there was a hard edge behind her words, an edge I'd learned to obey. I sat.
Harry kept talking, and now I could hear Ron and Hermione's voices join in. So I was wrong, they did have a kinky side. Hermione broke off in a moan. Harry was probably going down on her. Hell, they'd probably been doing it all year. "Can't they put up a silencing spell?"
Mum blushed, and didn't look at me. "It would interfere with the magic..." her voice trailed off. She pulled apart the last knot she'd done and started over.
"Magic?" Then I understood. "Magic. They're doing sex magic up there."
After a moment's hesitation, Mum nodded.
"And you're okay with that?"
"Of course not!" she growled. She faltered again, then threw the needles away. They rolled across the table and hit the floor. "But they're of age, they're going away, and if I denied them one weapon in their arsenal...kept them away from something that might save them...and they...they died..." she choked, and a tear fell from her cheek to her hand, rolled off her thumb.
She stood up and turned away. Her shoulders shook. I wondered if I should go over to her. Mum and I have never been especially close. I'm not her ideal daughter. I don't like being smothered. I can't remember the last time I just hugged her, let myself be held by her. So I stayed back and watched, feeling helpless.
Finally, she turned around. All traces of tears were gone. "It's time for you to be in bed," she said.
I could have fought. It was far before my usual bedtime, anyway. But I knew what Mum was doing, regaining control, and I didn't have the heart to take away her illusions. "Okay," I said. "I'll go on upstairs."
There was another loud thump, and Ron yelped, "Merlin!"
Mum cringed. "On second thought," she said, "why don't I make you up a bed in the living room?"
*~*~*
The changes were small, but noticeable over time. Harry would finish Hermione's sentences, or Ron would grab something for Harry before he asked. They were linked, in some way. Something had happened that night in the attic.
Well. At least it wasn't for nothing.
They still shared a room, though Mum pretended she didn't care. If they did anything, they kept a spell up. Obviously, whatever magic they'd started was complete. So now they stayed together...for fun? I didn't know. Just knew that once again, in the most painful way possible, I was on the outside.
They didn't speak much to me, and I didn't speak to them at all. I went back to the meek eleven year old I'd been. Was that what Harry wanted of me? When he entered, I left. Actually, I spent most of my time in my room.
One afternoon, towards the end of summer, there was a knock at my door. I quickly capped the flask and pushed it back under the mattress. "Come in," I said. I didn't stand up. I wasn't drunk, really, but I didn't want to act suspicious.
Harry walked in. "Oh, it's you," I said.
He sat next to me on the bed. "You know," he said.
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
"I do care about you," he said.
"I'm sure." I turned away.
He put his hand gently on my chin and brought me around to face him. "I loved you," he said. "Love you. But you know why..."
"I would have," I hissed. "For you."
"I know," he said. "I couldn't ask that of you." There was a pause, and he smiled. "Ron says, 'EW', by the way."
"He can hear me? So you're connected? All the time?" In spite of myself, I was curious.
"It's getting stronger," Harry said. "We'll have to leave soon. I just wanted you to know..."
"I'll take care of Hogwarts," I said. I didn't want any declarations of love, any rationalizations. I wanted him to leave. I wanted another drink. Fuck, I wanted some of the drugs Fred and George kept. I wondered if I could arrange another visit to their shop...
"I know you will," Harry said. He looked as though he was going to say more. Then he kissed me.
I let myself fall into it for a moment. It felt good, to kiss this boy I loved. He tried to slip me his tongue and I pulled back. Slapped him.
"You don't have the right," I said, as cold as I could. I wanted to kiss him, though, was so close to pressing my lips to his. To letting go. I wanted to feel him against me in the worst way.
Harry held his injured cheek, looking stung. He reached for me again. I jumped off the bed. Wobbled a bit, and grabbed my dresser to keep steady. "Get out!" I said.
"Okay," he said. "I understand." But he stopped at the door, showing he didn't understand, not really. "I'll always lo--"
I hurled the nearest object, a glass unicorn statue. It bounced off his shoulder and hit the floor, shattering. Harry looked between me and the unicorn's remains. His face closed up. He nodded slightly, and pulled the door shut behind him.
"You fucker," I hissed. I bit my lip. I wasn't going to cry. Not for him.
I went through my bag for my wand. Walked over to the unicorn. Didn't care much if I got expelled for underage magic. Nothing much mattered. Whispered the spell, and after a couple tries, the unicorn was back to normal.
It was a small rebellion, and stupid. Still made me feel better. I set the figurine back on my dresser. Sat on my bed. I heard the front door slam. Heard Mum start to cry.
They were gone.
***END***
As always, C&C is wonderful.