thoughts
Bueno. I feel... strange.
6 days until I go to Lima. 8 until I fly to Colombia.
I have been thinking lately about lots of things. Like, why I am so baby-obsessed at the moment. Why I am so Ale-obsessed. I feel like everything I do, doesn't change the person I am at all. It just makes me sure that this is who I am, and this is what I want to do with my life. And what say I made a decision, a big decision... can I be certain that what I want now, will still be what I want in the future? I am becoming more and more certain that I can trust myself like that. I am more certain of what I want in life. But still, I think I need to go back to Australia before I can be sure. I need to do some meditation, and think a bit, do some work in Australia, spend time with my family and my friends, study for a while.
Alejandro is a strange thing in my life right now. A really good thing, but something that upsets me too sometimes. I don't know quite why. Because he disturbs my view of things. And my view of things is comfortable for me, and it bothers me to have to change it. But South America in general is forcing me to do that anyway. It's like, all the things I wanted before... so much, I have wanted, has faded a little. There are fewer things I want. I want work that's worthwhile, a partner who I love and trust completely, a family, and a safe place to live.
I don't know what I'm trying to say with this. Today feels weird.
6 days until I go to Lima. 8 until I fly to Colombia.
I have been thinking lately about lots of things. Like, why I am so baby-obsessed at the moment. Why I am so Ale-obsessed. I feel like everything I do, doesn't change the person I am at all. It just makes me sure that this is who I am, and this is what I want to do with my life. And what say I made a decision, a big decision... can I be certain that what I want now, will still be what I want in the future? I am becoming more and more certain that I can trust myself like that. I am more certain of what I want in life. But still, I think I need to go back to Australia before I can be sure. I need to do some meditation, and think a bit, do some work in Australia, spend time with my family and my friends, study for a while.
Alejandro is a strange thing in my life right now. A really good thing, but something that upsets me too sometimes. I don't know quite why. Because he disturbs my view of things. And my view of things is comfortable for me, and it bothers me to have to change it. But South America in general is forcing me to do that anyway. It's like, all the things I wanted before... so much, I have wanted, has faded a little. There are fewer things I want. I want work that's worthwhile, a partner who I love and trust completely, a family, and a safe place to live.
I don't know what I'm trying to say with this. Today feels weird.