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I just got in at 5. It's funny, b/c before I left the house I had an interesting conversation with my mom: HER "Don't come home at 3AM again, okay?" ME "Mom..." HER "What are you DOING until 3 in the morning anyway?" ME "That's when everyone goes home." HER "Well I don't like it. Come home earlier tonight" ME "I stay out this late all the time at school and you don't even know. I stay out that late when I have CLASS the next morning... I'll see you later, Ma. Bye." And I walked out the door. I'm a terrible child. I'm ESPECIALLY terrible b/c of the 5AM thing... heh.
I know mad people on livejournal who I HAVE NOT friended... perhaps that's because I'm an insecure little whore... Those same people are the ones whose screennames I KNOW but have not ADDED to my buddy list b/c I just don't think I'd feel alright IMing them. I'm so insecure. I have so many "sorta kinda" friends who I probably COULD be friends with if I wasn't so paranoid that in reality these people all hate me. I'm going to try to change that. School is the worst place in reference to that "perhaps they hate me" feeling, and I'm going to try and rectify that. I'm sick of being insecure... That leads me to my New YEar's resolutions:
1) Stop being so fucking paranoid and insecure.
2) Get motivated & do better next semester.... MUCh better
3) Find some energy & join some clubs and shit
4) Open up & meet some new people
5) Stop being slutty (hahaha that's a funny one)
6) Stop being so lazy and make yoga and swimming a more regular thing
So... there are my resolutions.
I'm sort of lonely, too... I miss being in love. I know that's a silly thing to say, but I do. I want to find someone & be in love again, however short lived, at SOME point before this year is out... I don't want a year totally devoid of love. I don't know why I always share these things with the general livejournal reading public but eh... the world can know how I feel... it's okay. Who reads this shit anyway? Only LOSERS, I bet. ;)
I know mad people on livejournal who I HAVE NOT friended... perhaps that's because I'm an insecure little whore... Those same people are the ones whose screennames I KNOW but have not ADDED to my buddy list b/c I just don't think I'd feel alright IMing them. I'm so insecure. I have so many "sorta kinda" friends who I probably COULD be friends with if I wasn't so paranoid that in reality these people all hate me. I'm going to try to change that. School is the worst place in reference to that "perhaps they hate me" feeling, and I'm going to try and rectify that. I'm sick of being insecure... That leads me to my New YEar's resolutions:
1) Stop being so fucking paranoid and insecure.
2) Get motivated & do better next semester.... MUCh better
3) Find some energy & join some clubs and shit
4) Open up & meet some new people
5) Stop being slutty (hahaha that's a funny one)
6) Stop being so lazy and make yoga and swimming a more regular thing
So... there are my resolutions.
I'm sort of lonely, too... I miss being in love. I know that's a silly thing to say, but I do. I want to find someone & be in love again, however short lived, at SOME point before this year is out... I don't want a year totally devoid of love. I don't know why I always share these things with the general livejournal reading public but eh... the world can know how I feel... it's okay. Who reads this shit anyway? Only LOSERS, I bet. ;)