(no subject)
i got the closure i needed. maybe now i can heal properly. maybe i can forget whatever happened ever was. its uncanny how this exact same thing happened last year. only this time around hurt worse. but the reasons were the same, the way i found out was the same, the timing was the same. and each year i sat under the boat in all my clothes, hiding from the 15 other people in the household and cried. soaking wet, cold, and in full outfit. its dumb. these things are dumb. but theres alcohol here. and even though i'm running out of cigarettes, at least this time i'm not running out of friends.