To all the "Men" I leave behind
As flattering as it is to learn that you find me attractive, and as wamn and fuzzy as it makes me feel to be told how much you have liked me "but where shy", the fact that your saying this while drunkenly grabbing my ass kinda kills the sincerity of the statement. What is it with men waiting till the end all be all last moment to try to get somewhere with me? Maybe its the fact that I'm leaving, and there'd be that "no strings attatched" builshit. But seriously, you had five years, FIVE BLOODY YEARS to ask me out, tell me I'm cute, savagly pull me into a corner and have you way with me, something, anything, but this meally mouthed "oh i really liked but you but i found you intimidating and now that your wearing a dress that shows some skin and have an entire bottle of champaighn in you i think your really really sexy" Right. The fact that the parties dying and im walking home (sober i might add, i hold my liquer well) and all the other skanky girls whose attention you couldnt get have already paired off, and I'm all your left with doesnt factor in there at all. Sure.
Don't get me wrong, this is not me downing myself or not giving myself enough credit, I'm a pretty pretty girl, but these are not the boys that typically hit on me, these are guys i drink with, play pool with, and occasionaly throw darts with/at. These boys have known me for five years, have seen me drunkenly cannon ball into the pool in my skivvies, I've dated their friends, made bauwdy comments at their expense. It's not like theres never been an oppurtunity for them to actaully, I dont know, legitimatly date me. But they didnt, and thats life, and no worries. But if you think for one moment that im just going to drop trow and make made crazy hot sweaty love to your drunken (and cowerdly i might add) body simply because now you have the stones to make a pass, you've got to be fuckin' kidding me.
If you found me intimadating, that's not my fault I've read a few non-school related books in the past few years, I'm not dumbing myself down or lowering my standerds to make you feel better, if the fact that i used to be tad heavier then i am now, well, I'm back to my highschool weight and look damn good in that clingy black dress; I look better now then i have in a long time, nuts to you. Whether you finally saw me for the amazing brilent wonderful person i am and wanted to do something about, sorry doll your a tad late, and if (more then likely I must admitt) you just wanted a neat little one nighter...seriously, If i havent tried to shag you yet, chances are i never thought about it in the first place.
Denise "Your drinking that entire bottle on your own?"
Liz "We HAVE met before right?"
Don't get me wrong, this is not me downing myself or not giving myself enough credit, I'm a pretty pretty girl, but these are not the boys that typically hit on me, these are guys i drink with, play pool with, and occasionaly throw darts with/at. These boys have known me for five years, have seen me drunkenly cannon ball into the pool in my skivvies, I've dated their friends, made bauwdy comments at their expense. It's not like theres never been an oppurtunity for them to actaully, I dont know, legitimatly date me. But they didnt, and thats life, and no worries. But if you think for one moment that im just going to drop trow and make made crazy hot sweaty love to your drunken (and cowerdly i might add) body simply because now you have the stones to make a pass, you've got to be fuckin' kidding me.
If you found me intimadating, that's not my fault I've read a few non-school related books in the past few years, I'm not dumbing myself down or lowering my standerds to make you feel better, if the fact that i used to be tad heavier then i am now, well, I'm back to my highschool weight and look damn good in that clingy black dress; I look better now then i have in a long time, nuts to you. Whether you finally saw me for the amazing brilent wonderful person i am and wanted to do something about, sorry doll your a tad late, and if (more then likely I must admitt) you just wanted a neat little one nighter...seriously, If i havent tried to shag you yet, chances are i never thought about it in the first place.
Denise "Your drinking that entire bottle on your own?"
Liz "We HAVE met before right?"