6 a.m. Only 9 more hours of consciousness left to go
Just ended my first round of all nighters (by ended i mean the presentation is done, not DONE in the sense that i now get to sleep). Been thinking about my options and the more I look at it the less moving home makes sense. Yes, it's financially logical. Yes, in theory it would be nice to live rent free, have food taken care of, and sit on my ass all day watching HBO. But it's not worth the bitching my parents get into, it's not worth the lack of Autonomy I would begrudgingly have to put up with to live there. And it's not worth giving up on myself. Im resourceful, I'm clever and I will make it where ever the hell i decide to end up living. But I have more contacts, more options, and no offense, more friends here then I do there. My life has been here for five years. My coffee shop is down the street, my bar is three blocks away. I have a ton of old friends and alot of new ones. Hell when your friend's five year old son whose only known you two months looks like he's about to cry because you may or may not be leaving, theres something to that. If i get a job, im staying. End of story. I dont care how shitty it is so long as it pays the bills and gives me time to volunteer in Galleries, museums, and anything else that may remotely get my foot in the door. Hell, even ex of mine might have an "in" for me with a contact he knows. I have options. I have to keep telling myself that. Moving back is moving backwards and thats not the direction im heading.