Experimental First Person 'Sano Ficlet
Note: This is written in first person and is purposefully ambiguous as to which brother is narrating. It's meant to be able to be read both ways.
You’re not the same person anymore. Considering how long it’s been, I don’t suppose I should be surprised by that. You look different now, that was probably the most expected thing, but you weren’t unrecognizable. Which I’m sure you could realize when I hugged you so hard you could hardly breathe. You move different too, all jerky and twitchy all the time. You sound different. You’ve always mumbled and muttered to yourself, but now more than ever. And even when you do laugh, it’s so sharp now. It’s not really a laugh; it’s more of a cackle. Not that I care. I don’t care how different you are, or what it’s taken for us to come back together, or how many tears were shed in the process. I have my brother again and that’s all I care about.
I do still see glimpses of the you I remember. Underneath all the laughing and screaming. I know it’s not your fault. You don’t have to apologize. I believe you. I wish I could erase it all. I wish I could somehow make you believe that it’s all okay. If I could, I’d take away all that pain, all the hurt, all the madness. But I can’t. So I’ll settle for taking half. We’ve always shared everything. We’ll share this insanity too. I’ll take half. Maybe I’ll finally be able to see what you see. Maybe you’ll finally be able to see what I see.
Our clothes are different. Our coats too. Mine’s not the same as yours, I know, but I did my best. We don’t look one bit identical, but we never have, not really. We’ve been compared to each other forever, but we’ve always been easy to tell apart. We might be brothers, but we’re not twins. This is close enough. We match where it matters. This is who we are now. It’s strange but already I sometimes forget life was anything other than this. When it hurts, I remind myself that it’s only half of what you had to carry. We’ll make this work. Let’s just go do science together. It’s always nice to work in the lab. I don’t know what we’re working towards these days, but I don’t really care. Science for the sake of science is fine by me.
We’ll be okay. We’ll meet each other halfway. Like always. This isn’t a happy ending, I know. But it’ll do. It’s the best we’ve got now. It’s actually sort of funny now in a twisted way. Don’t look at me like that. Yes, this is what you sound like when you laugh. There. Now that’s a real smile. Is that you finally? It’s hard to see you when we both have these spirals in front of our eyes. I try to look but it’s almost impossible to see past the swirls in front of my eyes and then past the ones covering yours and tell for sure. But I think that’s you again. I missed you. I know, we’ve been right beside each other since reuniting, but I’ve still missed you. Even when you’re right here, sometimes you’re too far away to reach.
But you’re here now. I know it this time. Do you see me too? Here, take my hand. I wish I could feel some warmth from the touch, but I’m content enough right now to simply feel your fingers squeezing back. I won’t leave you, you know. Being parted once was enough. You’re my brother, and we’re not ever going to leave each other again. Never again.
You’re not the same person anymore. Considering how long it’s been, I don’t suppose I should be surprised by that. You look different now, that was probably the most expected thing, but you weren’t unrecognizable. Which I’m sure you could realize when I hugged you so hard you could hardly breathe. You move different too, all jerky and twitchy all the time. You sound different. You’ve always mumbled and muttered to yourself, but now more than ever. And even when you do laugh, it’s so sharp now. It’s not really a laugh; it’s more of a cackle. Not that I care. I don’t care how different you are, or what it’s taken for us to come back together, or how many tears were shed in the process. I have my brother again and that’s all I care about.
I do still see glimpses of the you I remember. Underneath all the laughing and screaming. I know it’s not your fault. You don’t have to apologize. I believe you. I wish I could erase it all. I wish I could somehow make you believe that it’s all okay. If I could, I’d take away all that pain, all the hurt, all the madness. But I can’t. So I’ll settle for taking half. We’ve always shared everything. We’ll share this insanity too. I’ll take half. Maybe I’ll finally be able to see what you see. Maybe you’ll finally be able to see what I see.
Our clothes are different. Our coats too. Mine’s not the same as yours, I know, but I did my best. We don’t look one bit identical, but we never have, not really. We’ve been compared to each other forever, but we’ve always been easy to tell apart. We might be brothers, but we’re not twins. This is close enough. We match where it matters. This is who we are now. It’s strange but already I sometimes forget life was anything other than this. When it hurts, I remind myself that it’s only half of what you had to carry. We’ll make this work. Let’s just go do science together. It’s always nice to work in the lab. I don’t know what we’re working towards these days, but I don’t really care. Science for the sake of science is fine by me.
We’ll be okay. We’ll meet each other halfway. Like always. This isn’t a happy ending, I know. But it’ll do. It’s the best we’ve got now. It’s actually sort of funny now in a twisted way. Don’t look at me like that. Yes, this is what you sound like when you laugh. There. Now that’s a real smile. Is that you finally? It’s hard to see you when we both have these spirals in front of our eyes. I try to look but it’s almost impossible to see past the swirls in front of my eyes and then past the ones covering yours and tell for sure. But I think that’s you again. I missed you. I know, we’ve been right beside each other since reuniting, but I’ve still missed you. Even when you’re right here, sometimes you’re too far away to reach.
But you’re here now. I know it this time. Do you see me too? Here, take my hand. I wish I could feel some warmth from the touch, but I’m content enough right now to simply feel your fingers squeezing back. I won’t leave you, you know. Being parted once was enough. You’re my brother, and we’re not ever going to leave each other again. Never again.