Fun (not) with FedEx/Customs
I mean to do a proper write-up of the trip, for my own memory as much as anything, but unfortunately all the brain I can muster is being used in fighting with FedEx to try to get our stuff. We chose to ship some things instead of maxing out our luggage limits (first mistake), and it's turning into an exercise in absurdity.
Things I have learned:
- Never ship anything if you don't have to.
- If you must ship something, make it one kind of thing. Do not yield to the perfectly reasonable urge to tuck in other items to fill space in the box; it will only bring you grief.
- Never mix items you already owned and items you've purchased abroad in the same shipment. It confuses the shippers unmercifully, and will result in charming things like being shouted at that the forms you've filled out are invalid and completely other forms are required.
- Do not ship pens. Ink, apparently, requires a Toxic Substance Control Act Certification. (Yes, this is ridiculous. Yes, we strolled through Customs at the airport with five times as many pens (housemate collects them) and nobody cared. We still had to fill out a TSCA form for, yes, two pens.)
- Do not ship DVDs or CDs. Though at least the Video Declaration form (nothing pornographic or seditious, yeah, don't get me started) is relatively straightforward.
- Do not, for the love of all that is holy, ship feminine hygiene products. You will have some overly-officious FedEx employee demanding the precise physical address where the menstrual pads (and you'd better not call them anything else) were manufactured (and good luck finding that!), even though they were originally purchased in the US. If you need to fill a space, for gods' sake just buy bubble wrap.
- Do not ship clothing, or anything made of cloth. Unless, of course, you want a demand of "NEED MANUFACTURER WITH FULL ADDRESS, KNIT OR WOVEN AND WHAT GENDER MADE FOR" for a sweater you bought second-hand ten years ago, or a pair of socks you picked up at a sidewalk kiosk for which the tag is, you guessed it, in the package you can't get hold of.
- Don't ship anything. Really, just don't. The airline's over-the-weight-limit fee is likely to be cheaper than the shipping charges anyway, and the Customs guards at the airport are the epitome of courtesy and understanding compared to a "Sr. ECO Import Coordinator" at FedEx.
Really, this was not the learning experience I needed to have as the capstone to our trip. To be fair, the folks I've spoken to on the phone at FedEx have generally been pleasant and helpful; it's only this horrible woman we're emailing with who seems determined to make an international incident out of some souvenirs, spare laundry, and a half-used package of pads. To rub salt in the wound, our box currently seems to be held up at the FedEx facility in Lansing, not 20 miles from here. We could go there in person, open the box, and go through each item with a FedEx agent if they'd let us. If I have to call again, and I'm sure I will, I may suggest just that.
*headdesk* Not leaving me with happy memories of the trip, this.
ETA: Not at the facility in Lansing, apparently; it's still in Newark. Several more phone calls in which people don't seem to grasp that asking us for the manufacturer and composition of clothing which is in a box that we can't access (and likely couldn't provide that information for even if we could) is flatly insane. Finally resorted to calling FedEx's Customer Advocate team, where I at least found out that the shouty all-caps parts of the emails have probably been copy-pasted from Customs itself, not from the person "brokering" the clearance process. Better, but she could have stood to make that clear herself, y'know? And if that's Customs' idea of communication, wow, my tax dollars need to be better spent.
ETA 2: Can it be?? Two emails citing scheduled delivery dates, and the online tracking now says it's been released and is in transit. Perhaps calling the Customer Advocate team did some good? I'll believe it when I have the box in my hands, since the automated phone system already lied to us about the status once, as did multiple humans who said we'd sent all the forms we had to. But it would be really nice to not have to spend tomorrow as miserably playing bureaucracy roulette as today.
This entry was originally posted at https://lizvogel.dreamwidth.org/208294.html because I got tired of dealing with whatever LiveJournal had broken this time. Comment whereever.
Things I have learned:
- Never ship anything if you don't have to.
- If you must ship something, make it one kind of thing. Do not yield to the perfectly reasonable urge to tuck in other items to fill space in the box; it will only bring you grief.
- Never mix items you already owned and items you've purchased abroad in the same shipment. It confuses the shippers unmercifully, and will result in charming things like being shouted at that the forms you've filled out are invalid and completely other forms are required.
- Do not ship pens. Ink, apparently, requires a Toxic Substance Control Act Certification. (Yes, this is ridiculous. Yes, we strolled through Customs at the airport with five times as many pens (housemate collects them) and nobody cared. We still had to fill out a TSCA form for, yes, two pens.)
- Do not ship DVDs or CDs. Though at least the Video Declaration form (nothing pornographic or seditious, yeah, don't get me started) is relatively straightforward.
- Do not, for the love of all that is holy, ship feminine hygiene products. You will have some overly-officious FedEx employee demanding the precise physical address where the menstrual pads (and you'd better not call them anything else) were manufactured (and good luck finding that!), even though they were originally purchased in the US. If you need to fill a space, for gods' sake just buy bubble wrap.
- Do not ship clothing, or anything made of cloth. Unless, of course, you want a demand of "NEED MANUFACTURER WITH FULL ADDRESS, KNIT OR WOVEN AND WHAT GENDER MADE FOR" for a sweater you bought second-hand ten years ago, or a pair of socks you picked up at a sidewalk kiosk for which the tag is, you guessed it, in the package you can't get hold of.
- Don't ship anything. Really, just don't. The airline's over-the-weight-limit fee is likely to be cheaper than the shipping charges anyway, and the Customs guards at the airport are the epitome of courtesy and understanding compared to a "Sr. ECO Import Coordinator" at FedEx.
Really, this was not the learning experience I needed to have as the capstone to our trip. To be fair, the folks I've spoken to on the phone at FedEx have generally been pleasant and helpful; it's only this horrible woman we're emailing with who seems determined to make an international incident out of some souvenirs, spare laundry, and a half-used package of pads. To rub salt in the wound, our box currently seems to be held up at the FedEx facility in Lansing, not 20 miles from here. We could go there in person, open the box, and go through each item with a FedEx agent if they'd let us. If I have to call again, and I'm sure I will, I may suggest just that.
*headdesk* Not leaving me with happy memories of the trip, this.
ETA: Not at the facility in Lansing, apparently; it's still in Newark. Several more phone calls in which people don't seem to grasp that asking us for the manufacturer and composition of clothing which is in a box that we can't access (and likely couldn't provide that information for even if we could) is flatly insane. Finally resorted to calling FedEx's Customer Advocate team, where I at least found out that the shouty all-caps parts of the emails have probably been copy-pasted from Customs itself, not from the person "brokering" the clearance process. Better, but she could have stood to make that clear herself, y'know? And if that's Customs' idea of communication, wow, my tax dollars need to be better spent.
ETA 2: Can it be?? Two emails citing scheduled delivery dates, and the online tracking now says it's been released and is in transit. Perhaps calling the Customer Advocate team did some good? I'll believe it when I have the box in my hands, since the automated phone system already lied to us about the status once, as did multiple humans who said we'd sent all the forms we had to. But it would be really nice to not have to spend tomorrow as miserably playing bureaucracy roulette as today.
This entry was originally posted at https://lizvogel.dreamwidth.org/208294.html because I got tired of dealing with whatever LiveJournal had broken this time. Comment whereever.