I come running back
Yes, that's right, another pledge to livejournal not to neglect it, even though posting my thoughts here is like dropping coins down the wishing well, except they don't cause a splash and there's less optimism involved. Actually, it just occured to me that this is nothing like dropping money down the wishing well, because then the money's gone, and in this case the purpose is to retain the thought. Well anyway, what I was trying to say was that posting on livejournal just doesn't bring me the returns other people seem to gain.
I started to re-read that, but if I followed the action through I'd probably delete it. That's my issue with journal keeping. And life in general maybe, being self-aware enough to be terrified of being so wrapped up in myself that I appear a twat. contradictory?
Oh, that bit would definitely be deleted upon re-reading.
I think my last post was happy and about being accepted to do the art foundation at west kent. Since then I had an interview at Ravensbourne, who turned me down for the art foundation but offered me an alternative skills-building up course because I haven't done art for two years. Well, I turned Ravensbourne down because I wouldn't want to put myself a year behind everyone, and it would make the whole affair cost more money seeing as you have to pay for foundation courses when you're over 18, but you aren't eligible for student loan because it's further education.
Since then, Ravensbourne called saying the course was cancelled, and offered me place on the art foundation I originally went for. When I was first told, I was only just running into my house on the way to a party with Verity and we'd been drinking and I was a bit drunk. More soberly, I decided to go to Ravensbourne because it sounds better to tell people and is "an excellent chance to network". Some might say these are all the wrong reasons, but if I were to go into fashion they are all the right reasons.
That party was not my finest hour. I was just reading Russell Brand's Booky Wook at long last and there was a heart breakingly true paragraph about "compartmentalised identities- This is who you are with mum, this is who you are with dad". I feel like that, it makes me very sceptical about my relationship with people, and especially people who want relationships with me. Having said that, is everyone like this? That could solve a few problems.
Right now I am generally melancholy and into The Smiths and Morrissey. Ihate to be an angsty teenager, but that is exactly what I am, and the bit in How Soon Is Now about the pub where you might "meet someone who really loves you" and the going home alone and the wanting to die, that is good.
I started to re-read that, but if I followed the action through I'd probably delete it. That's my issue with journal keeping. And life in general maybe, being self-aware enough to be terrified of being so wrapped up in myself that I appear a twat. contradictory?
Oh, that bit would definitely be deleted upon re-reading.
I think my last post was happy and about being accepted to do the art foundation at west kent. Since then I had an interview at Ravensbourne, who turned me down for the art foundation but offered me an alternative skills-building up course because I haven't done art for two years. Well, I turned Ravensbourne down because I wouldn't want to put myself a year behind everyone, and it would make the whole affair cost more money seeing as you have to pay for foundation courses when you're over 18, but you aren't eligible for student loan because it's further education.
Since then, Ravensbourne called saying the course was cancelled, and offered me place on the art foundation I originally went for. When I was first told, I was only just running into my house on the way to a party with Verity and we'd been drinking and I was a bit drunk. More soberly, I decided to go to Ravensbourne because it sounds better to tell people and is "an excellent chance to network". Some might say these are all the wrong reasons, but if I were to go into fashion they are all the right reasons.
That party was not my finest hour. I was just reading Russell Brand's Booky Wook at long last and there was a heart breakingly true paragraph about "compartmentalised identities- This is who you are with mum, this is who you are with dad". I feel like that, it makes me very sceptical about my relationship with people, and especially people who want relationships with me. Having said that, is everyone like this? That could solve a few problems.
Right now I am generally melancholy and into The Smiths and Morrissey. Ihate to be an angsty teenager, but that is exactly what I am, and the bit in How Soon Is Now about the pub where you might "meet someone who really loves you" and the going home alone and the wanting to die, that is good.