a kind of serious entry
my boyfriend is sad. and he doesn't know why. neither do i. last night he was sad and i finally got him to talk about it, and he said it was because he missed me so much. like i told him what i was wearing, and he got really upset, and i was like, why? and he said "Just thinking about you in your sexy white dress, and I know everyone in Florida can see you and I can’t. I think you’re just most beautiful and hot and sexy person in the world. I get jealous of the people you hang out with because they get to see you and experience you and I don’t. They get to see you smile and hear how funny and nice you are, if I could just see that now I would die." Now I thought this was nice and it made me happy, but he was still upset. He's also upset that I have decided to stay at Rollins another semester and apply to schools in New York for next fall instead of this spring. But the thing is, as much as I love him, I need to think of what is best for me. I could get into Fordham for the spring term, but if I work hard then I could maybe get into NYU or Barnard next year, which are both much better schools. I don't want to be a stay at home mom, at least not yet. I want to get a good job that is challenging and enjoyable and pays well, and in order to do that I need to get a good education. and Mike understands that, but at the same time he wants to live with me and stop this long-distance thing, which sucks. I don't know what to do.