(no subject)
Still not living my life the way I should be. Or the way people expect me to. Or the way I expect me to.
So what am I doing?
I've ended up in some kind of sick compromise land, where I don't do anything I want, nor do I do anything that anyone else wants. I am anti-everything, including myself. How does that make sense?
What are my options at this point? I can do what society wants me to, or I can do what I want me to. Does that even make sense?
For the record, I'm not stoned or anything. (well, right now anyway).
I talked to Steve Magnuson yesterday and it's really gotten me in a whirl. He took off for Austin a while ago - dropped out of school, and just went for what he thought was right. I've been thinking of doing this same thing, so naturally, I ask "steve, what's your advice?". He didn't really give me advice because I think he feels like he screwed up his life. I don't want to feel like that, but the thing is, I already do.
I am going to give this term a chance. I am going to do the best I can starting now, (this very moment), and then next term, if I still feel like I've got a big stick of looming responsibility up my ass, I'm taking it out and taking off!
I'm sick of this god-forsaken little town and all of the bullshit it has to offer.
I keep having these dreams... where I am married and having babies and shit. It makes me feel like my subconscious is trying to get me to settle down with someone. It's kind of freaking me out. What does it all mean?
Last night was hip to be strange, my dream was that I found a little baby bunny that looked like a tiny version of pancakes running around. I put the new baby in the cage with cakes and they were best friends. What does that mean? Babies? Baby Bunnies? Maybe it means that p-cakes is not really fixed. I don't know. Maybe it means I'm going insane.
In less daunting and seriously toned news, I built pancakes a fort! we are playing in it together.
So what am I doing?
I've ended up in some kind of sick compromise land, where I don't do anything I want, nor do I do anything that anyone else wants. I am anti-everything, including myself. How does that make sense?
What are my options at this point? I can do what society wants me to, or I can do what I want me to. Does that even make sense?
For the record, I'm not stoned or anything. (well, right now anyway).
I talked to Steve Magnuson yesterday and it's really gotten me in a whirl. He took off for Austin a while ago - dropped out of school, and just went for what he thought was right. I've been thinking of doing this same thing, so naturally, I ask "steve, what's your advice?". He didn't really give me advice because I think he feels like he screwed up his life. I don't want to feel like that, but the thing is, I already do.
I am going to give this term a chance. I am going to do the best I can starting now, (this very moment), and then next term, if I still feel like I've got a big stick of looming responsibility up my ass, I'm taking it out and taking off!
I'm sick of this god-forsaken little town and all of the bullshit it has to offer.
I keep having these dreams... where I am married and having babies and shit. It makes me feel like my subconscious is trying to get me to settle down with someone. It's kind of freaking me out. What does it all mean?
Last night was hip to be strange, my dream was that I found a little baby bunny that looked like a tiny version of pancakes running around. I put the new baby in the cage with cakes and they were best friends. What does that mean? Babies? Baby Bunnies? Maybe it means that p-cakes is not really fixed. I don't know. Maybe it means I'm going insane.
In less daunting and seriously toned news, I built pancakes a fort! we are playing in it together.