question for you all

[lizfrizz]

Do you ever feel like being with someone or just dating them and having really strong feelings for, this goes back to one person in paticular and I'm sure most of you know who it is a certain someone from Indiana lets say, not my ex bf, like you can never get part of yourself back? Honestly I feel like part of me is still missing in a way, how come I can't feel that about anyone else it seems? Why no explanation? Why do I act like him and try to shut people out? So now this has affected the way I've acted since then and all my feelings for guys in the last year or so. Now How do I really feel about my ex that I broke up with a couple months ago? Do I miss just having someone there or do I actually miss him? Or am I just trying to feel the void that I miss from that someone else? Was I using him to get what I missed about the other guy? And I hate that I'm thinking this now, but i need some answers damnit. I hate that I still have feelings for someone who obviously doesn't care and walks all over me. And I hate that my heart and my head won't feel the same things. Like there are people that are amazing that I wshould be with but I just don't feel ...just feel that excitement...

Anyway I neeed sleep