another few words about jersey and how i'm a horrible person
two more words about jersey [see previous entry... actually, please don't]:
Jonas Brothers.
That being said, I feel like a total bitch when i say stuff like that about people that i really don't have such a huge problem with. Like, I want to edit that entry and delete what I said because I'm ashamed of my wickedness. There's no reason to say shit like that on a public blog. Not that I'm worried about people finding it and reading it, i'm personally disgusted with myself.
Plans changed and everything is feeling like it might real tense up in here. I'm my own hypocrite, also. I'm not a nice person, nessecarily, like, i AM for the most part except when i'm a psycho and say horrible things and treat people badly, namely Hayley, but sometimes I forget that being nice and opening the door for more bad things to happen are two different things and i need to draw a line. I don't need to talk like i'm close friends with people when i'm not. i don't need to spend my time and gas money and energy on people when it's just going to be confusing. I don't need to go offer to go over there and teach him the three days of theory he missed, but i probably will offer. I don't want to see him fail.
Mendota water tastes better than Oglesby water.
Iron and Wine calms me down so much. mmm.
I still feel kind of promiscuous.
My owl necklace rules.
I slept in and didnt go to Film Lit-- first class skipped this year. It was worth it. I like just laying in bed after waking up and no one's in the house and I just let the song of my alarm play out and the sun coming through my makeshift curtains helps promote the feeling that i am warm and comfortable and nothing in the world is wrong right now and I could stay right here and it wouldnt be a big deal. Sometimes i wish i had a boy next to me, but for the most part, i'm content being there all alone.
The cafeteria was too loud and overstimulating for me, so i left without a word. I like not feeling obligated to tell people where I am going or why i do the things i do. When you are only casual friends and you dont care what they think about you, it makes things simpler.
Emily's valentine is all sorts of wrinkled from being in pockets and notebooks and lost in my backpack for a week. I just can't seem to get it to her.
I like waking up in the middle of the night to text messages. They dont nessecarily have to be nice, they could just be one of those informative texts devoid of too much emotion, but as long as they arent nasty texts telling me to kill myself or fuck off, i like getting them. Even if they are kind of sad or disappointing or make no sense or I dont care. When you roll over and wake for no reason and check the time, it's nice to know that someone wanted to talk to you in the middle of the night, but not urgently enough to call and wake you up. The best ones are, obviously, really nice ones, like 'i miss you' from a friend who lives far away that i also miss, or good news, or 'good night and sweet dreams' variety, or [past tense receiving here] romantic ones. Something about me being really sleepy makes me really affectionate most of the time, unless you are my sisters. Then i just get irritated that you woke me up, wont let me fall asleep, or missed the bus or are talking to me at all when I want to be left alone in my sleepiness. Really, i'm nice to everyone but my sisters and mom and dog. I'm a terrible person. I shouldnt treat my family like shit, my sisters are all i have of a family in my mind, and that dog has been my dog since i was 12 years old and i wanted him for 2 years before that. That's 9 years of involvement with Oscar. Poor dog. He doesnt know what the heck goes on ever and just wants attention at the most inconvienient times.
There's this couple that I am in awe of for a number of reasons. First of all, they are photographers and are pretty awesome artists. Second, the dude is from N. Carolina, she's from England, they met on Flickr and have some sort of ridiculous out of control fairy tale-esque love story/relationship. They take pictures every sunday and then photoshop them together, and they're usually weird or really whimsical [like being up in trees together or riding beetles] and weirdly personal for being photoshopped together. I read about them on MSN news and it's just weird. They each have their own flickr pages and ARF Productions [photography business or something. A for Aaron, R for Rosie, F for ...fotography.]
anyway, theres all this controversy because she's like, 17 or 18 and he's 24 and it's long distance, but her parents met him on Skype and are cool with it and he visits when he can and people dont think this is real because both of them are like, models. seriously. both of them are gorgeous people.
anyway, i should maybe do something productive.
Jonas Brothers.
That being said, I feel like a total bitch when i say stuff like that about people that i really don't have such a huge problem with. Like, I want to edit that entry and delete what I said because I'm ashamed of my wickedness. There's no reason to say shit like that on a public blog. Not that I'm worried about people finding it and reading it, i'm personally disgusted with myself.
Plans changed and everything is feeling like it might real tense up in here. I'm my own hypocrite, also. I'm not a nice person, nessecarily, like, i AM for the most part except when i'm a psycho and say horrible things and treat people badly, namely Hayley, but sometimes I forget that being nice and opening the door for more bad things to happen are two different things and i need to draw a line. I don't need to talk like i'm close friends with people when i'm not. i don't need to spend my time and gas money and energy on people when it's just going to be confusing. I don't need to go offer to go over there and teach him the three days of theory he missed, but i probably will offer. I don't want to see him fail.
Mendota water tastes better than Oglesby water.
Iron and Wine calms me down so much. mmm.
I still feel kind of promiscuous.
My owl necklace rules.
I slept in and didnt go to Film Lit-- first class skipped this year. It was worth it. I like just laying in bed after waking up and no one's in the house and I just let the song of my alarm play out and the sun coming through my makeshift curtains helps promote the feeling that i am warm and comfortable and nothing in the world is wrong right now and I could stay right here and it wouldnt be a big deal. Sometimes i wish i had a boy next to me, but for the most part, i'm content being there all alone.
The cafeteria was too loud and overstimulating for me, so i left without a word. I like not feeling obligated to tell people where I am going or why i do the things i do. When you are only casual friends and you dont care what they think about you, it makes things simpler.
Emily's valentine is all sorts of wrinkled from being in pockets and notebooks and lost in my backpack for a week. I just can't seem to get it to her.
I like waking up in the middle of the night to text messages. They dont nessecarily have to be nice, they could just be one of those informative texts devoid of too much emotion, but as long as they arent nasty texts telling me to kill myself or fuck off, i like getting them. Even if they are kind of sad or disappointing or make no sense or I dont care. When you roll over and wake for no reason and check the time, it's nice to know that someone wanted to talk to you in the middle of the night, but not urgently enough to call and wake you up. The best ones are, obviously, really nice ones, like 'i miss you' from a friend who lives far away that i also miss, or good news, or 'good night and sweet dreams' variety, or [past tense receiving here] romantic ones. Something about me being really sleepy makes me really affectionate most of the time, unless you are my sisters. Then i just get irritated that you woke me up, wont let me fall asleep, or missed the bus or are talking to me at all when I want to be left alone in my sleepiness. Really, i'm nice to everyone but my sisters and mom and dog. I'm a terrible person. I shouldnt treat my family like shit, my sisters are all i have of a family in my mind, and that dog has been my dog since i was 12 years old and i wanted him for 2 years before that. That's 9 years of involvement with Oscar. Poor dog. He doesnt know what the heck goes on ever and just wants attention at the most inconvienient times.
There's this couple that I am in awe of for a number of reasons. First of all, they are photographers and are pretty awesome artists. Second, the dude is from N. Carolina, she's from England, they met on Flickr and have some sort of ridiculous out of control fairy tale-esque love story/relationship. They take pictures every sunday and then photoshop them together, and they're usually weird or really whimsical [like being up in trees together or riding beetles] and weirdly personal for being photoshopped together. I read about them on MSN news and it's just weird. They each have their own flickr pages and ARF Productions [photography business or something. A for Aaron, R for Rosie, F for ...fotography.]
anyway, theres all this controversy because she's like, 17 or 18 and he's 24 and it's long distance, but her parents met him on Skype and are cool with it and he visits when he can and people dont think this is real because both of them are like, models. seriously. both of them are gorgeous people.
anyway, i should maybe do something productive.