(no subject)
Alright, I was going to post a long entry with all the details, but Dustin (mindbrokenufguy) covered it pretty well in his journal, so I'll let you catch up there (although, just a note... "Chris" is actually Kris. lol. And what he said about my parents is true. They're awesome).
Instead, I'll devote my entry to feelings from the trip.
First, my favorite quote not mentioned in Dustin's journal:
Shane (while playing with my bracelets): You know these stand for sexual intercourse, right?
Liz: Yeah. You break it, you buy it.
After Ashley, Kris and Shane left my house, Dustin left Devin and I alone so that we could catch up. We talked for about an hour and a half, with Devin lying in my lap (I felt like his psychologist). He's gone through a lot, but he speaks about it so maturely that it nearly brought tears to my eyes. He's nearly 18. This boy that I've watched grow since he was in 4th grade is suddenly becoming a man right before my very eyes. And not just an average guy, but an amazing, amazing man. I really do view him as a little brother, and I can't express how proud I was of him in that moment.
I feel the same for Ashley in a way... proud because I took her under my wing when she came in as a freshman band member, and now here she is leading what used to be "my" band. She's filling my shoes and doing a remarkable job of it.
Up until this visit, I've always sort of reverted back to "high school" mode when I go home. With Ashley and Devin, I always felt like I was still a senior, and they were still sophomores. We could pretend and slide back into these roles that were so comfortable back in the day. But this visit, it wasn't possible. They're too grown up, they're too mature to be sophomores. They're undeniably the seniors now. And I am undeniably old (mid-life crisis just a few weeks short of my 20th birthday? Is that possible?).
It all hit me very suddenly.
I don't know the band anymore. I look back, and see a sea of faces that look back at me blankly. The seniors are the last group that really knew me well, and Shane will be the only one left that I really care for. It was very depressing to look back and realize that none of these people shared my memories. None of these people could laugh at my inside jokes, or realize what amazing memories they're making each day.
UF is so full of stress. I miss the carefree days of high school. I get a taste of it when I'm with Phi Sig, but there seems to always be something looming over my head that needs to get done. *sigh*
All in all, it was an amazing weekend... something I definitely needed. I love Devin, Ashley, Shane and Kris to pieces, and you better believe I love my "husband" Dustin ;) It was soooo nice having him there with me and made the trip even that much better.
I'll post pictures tomorrow. Oh, and say hello to my brand new Sony Vaio laptop. This is the first entry being posted via it's keyboard. Yay!
Instead, I'll devote my entry to feelings from the trip.
First, my favorite quote not mentioned in Dustin's journal:
Shane (while playing with my bracelets): You know these stand for sexual intercourse, right?
Liz: Yeah. You break it, you buy it.
After Ashley, Kris and Shane left my house, Dustin left Devin and I alone so that we could catch up. We talked for about an hour and a half, with Devin lying in my lap (I felt like his psychologist). He's gone through a lot, but he speaks about it so maturely that it nearly brought tears to my eyes. He's nearly 18. This boy that I've watched grow since he was in 4th grade is suddenly becoming a man right before my very eyes. And not just an average guy, but an amazing, amazing man. I really do view him as a little brother, and I can't express how proud I was of him in that moment.
I feel the same for Ashley in a way... proud because I took her under my wing when she came in as a freshman band member, and now here she is leading what used to be "my" band. She's filling my shoes and doing a remarkable job of it.
Up until this visit, I've always sort of reverted back to "high school" mode when I go home. With Ashley and Devin, I always felt like I was still a senior, and they were still sophomores. We could pretend and slide back into these roles that were so comfortable back in the day. But this visit, it wasn't possible. They're too grown up, they're too mature to be sophomores. They're undeniably the seniors now. And I am undeniably old (mid-life crisis just a few weeks short of my 20th birthday? Is that possible?).
It all hit me very suddenly.
I don't know the band anymore. I look back, and see a sea of faces that look back at me blankly. The seniors are the last group that really knew me well, and Shane will be the only one left that I really care for. It was very depressing to look back and realize that none of these people shared my memories. None of these people could laugh at my inside jokes, or realize what amazing memories they're making each day.
UF is so full of stress. I miss the carefree days of high school. I get a taste of it when I'm with Phi Sig, but there seems to always be something looming over my head that needs to get done. *sigh*
All in all, it was an amazing weekend... something I definitely needed. I love Devin, Ashley, Shane and Kris to pieces, and you better believe I love my "husband" Dustin ;) It was soooo nice having him there with me and made the trip even that much better.
I'll post pictures tomorrow. Oh, and say hello to my brand new Sony Vaio laptop. This is the first entry being posted via it's keyboard. Yay!