the world has turned...
I did a lot of thinking today. Not by choice, more by my brain absolutely forcing me to spend every moment thinking. Replaying. I've gone a full range of emotions, from being upset, to being frustrated, to being confused, to finally ending here, defeated but ready to look elsewhere. I'm not willing to completely give up hope, but it has definitely diminished. I'm protecting myself from getting hurt, which I've gotten very good at over the years. After all, how many times have my relationship quests ever really worked out?
It seems like everyone around me is getting married or engaged. Not necessarily my close friends, but just people I know. It's a little worrysome and freaky to me. Also: Jeff and his fiancee are already "taking a break." I find this humorous, although I probably shouldn't.
In efforts to occupy my mind with thoughts other than just of my possibly-failing romantic hopes, I had lunch with Dustin at TGIFridays. Then I hung out with Rob this evening at the lovely new apartment. He attempted to reteach me how to play Magic the Gathering, which I hadn't played since say fifth grade. And after playing for a couple hours tonight, I think I realized just how much we made up on our own instead of following the directions. It was definitely taking some serious brainpower to keep up, but I was enjoying it nonetheless. After he beat me for the millionth time, we watched the Family Guy movie. It was pretty funny, if only for the large amounts of Stewie time. I briefly met Tom (aka, waved as he walked in the door), and then after the movie I headed on out.
Then around 2ish Dustin got back from a party drunk and in need of a talk, so I went and picked him up and we headed to Steak N Shake. I let him vent his frustrations in between laughing at the restaurant full of other drunks, and played therapist as best as I could. On the drive home, I screamed Weezer lyrics as loudly as I could. Nothing right now feels better than just screaming the lyrics to "Perfect Situation" or "This is Such a Pity" or "We Are All on Drugs" or "Say it Ain't So". I'm actually completely enamored with Make Believe (the new cd) now, with the exception of a few songs. I've been listening to it on repeat this past week and right now "Perfect Situation" and "Pardon Me" just strike a chord with me apparently.
Now I'm back at home left with my own thoughts, just where I started this morning.
The world has turned and left me here,
Just where I was before you appeared,
And in your place an empty space,
has filled the void behind my face.
It seems like everyone around me is getting married or engaged. Not necessarily my close friends, but just people I know. It's a little worrysome and freaky to me. Also: Jeff and his fiancee are already "taking a break." I find this humorous, although I probably shouldn't.
In efforts to occupy my mind with thoughts other than just of my possibly-failing romantic hopes, I had lunch with Dustin at TGIFridays. Then I hung out with Rob this evening at the lovely new apartment. He attempted to reteach me how to play Magic the Gathering, which I hadn't played since say fifth grade. And after playing for a couple hours tonight, I think I realized just how much we made up on our own instead of following the directions. It was definitely taking some serious brainpower to keep up, but I was enjoying it nonetheless. After he beat me for the millionth time, we watched the Family Guy movie. It was pretty funny, if only for the large amounts of Stewie time. I briefly met Tom (aka, waved as he walked in the door), and then after the movie I headed on out.
Then around 2ish Dustin got back from a party drunk and in need of a talk, so I went and picked him up and we headed to Steak N Shake. I let him vent his frustrations in between laughing at the restaurant full of other drunks, and played therapist as best as I could. On the drive home, I screamed Weezer lyrics as loudly as I could. Nothing right now feels better than just screaming the lyrics to "Perfect Situation" or "This is Such a Pity" or "We Are All on Drugs" or "Say it Ain't So". I'm actually completely enamored with Make Believe (the new cd) now, with the exception of a few songs. I've been listening to it on repeat this past week and right now "Perfect Situation" and "Pardon Me" just strike a chord with me apparently.
Now I'm back at home left with my own thoughts, just where I started this morning.
The world has turned and left me here,
Just where I was before you appeared,
And in your place an empty space,
has filled the void behind my face.