You can waste your time on the other rides; this is the nearest to being alive
Dear Spike,
YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING CAT.
SIX FOOT WALLS HAVE SIX FOOT DROPS WHEN YOU COME DOWN OFF THEM.
IF YOU HAD COME DOWN ON THE OTHER SIDE YOU WOULD HAVE LANDED ON CONCRETE INSTEAD OF THAT GREAT BIG SOFT COMPOST HEAP.
DO NOT EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN.
YOU FUCKER.
LOVE, YOUR STILL-TREMBLING MUM.
...We're in the park and a cat decides it wants to live dangerously. Due to a freakish combination of the cat's chosen escape route and shrubbery and stuff against the base of the wall, he managed to get entirely on top of the wall and fucking RUN ALONG IT.
I swear that fucker's taken ten years off my life in the five years I've had him.
YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING CAT.
SIX FOOT WALLS HAVE SIX FOOT DROPS WHEN YOU COME DOWN OFF THEM.
IF YOU HAD COME DOWN ON THE OTHER SIDE YOU WOULD HAVE LANDED ON CONCRETE INSTEAD OF THAT GREAT BIG SOFT COMPOST HEAP.
DO NOT EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN.
YOU FUCKER.
LOVE, YOUR STILL-TREMBLING MUM.
...We're in the park and a cat decides it wants to live dangerously. Due to a freakish combination of the cat's chosen escape route and shrubbery and stuff against the base of the wall, he managed to get entirely on top of the wall and fucking RUN ALONG IT.
I swear that fucker's taken ten years off my life in the five years I've had him.