Time to start keeping track.
So this is the start of trying to be a better, well rounded person. I'm constantly trying to self improve. I've been trying to improve a lot of things in my life lately. As of right now I'm trying to work on friendships. I don't have many close friends, and haven't for a while. The closest friend I have right now is Carly, and in a week and a half she will be on her way to her new life in Hawaii with her husband and son. Damn the military. She is happy to move out Maine and I'm happy for her. I applaud anyone who gets out of here and makes a life for themselves. But the thing is that the military has ALWAYS effected my friendships. Aside from one of my best friends growing up, the military has always taken them away. I'm sad that Carly and I had a falling out years ago. It disappoints me that we didn't talk for a long time up until now. Even though she never really seemed to confide a lot in me about what was, in my opinion, important stuff, she was still my best friend and I still feel like we're close now. But we will never be as close as we once were. My friend Christy from middle school is now living with her baby daddy's parents. So I finally got to hang out with her and have Adam meet her. Thank god Adam likes her. I didn't know how that night was going to go down, cause I haven't seen her in so long, I don't know how she has changed since growing up and moving away. We used to be best friends, and I'm hoping, now that she is living so close to Adam, we can start getting close again. And maybe she's here to stay.
I'm trying to be a more social person. It's hard though. I don't have a car and adam works odd hours. I can't blame him for not being up for much though. He just got over a 12 hour a day schedule, and he's sore a lot. I would be the same way.
I'm also working on bettering myself in school. This block I only passed my classes with a C - and D+. Next is Math and a psych class. I'm hoping I will be better in the Psych class since I enjoy it. Math is going to be a struggle, but luckily it is high school level algebra. Thank god I go to school online. Some people haven't been in a class for 30 years!
I need to start thinking about my back too. I'm torn between disability, or holding out and trying to find a job that doesn't effect my back, which is really hard. Nobody has even given me a call for an interview. I want to work, but don't want to go through the same struggle because of my pain, like i have so many times before. Employers don't like a person like me.I'm a liability to every aspect of their business. My mom has been stressing me to go on disability for a while. So I think I'm going to visit my doctor and say, "look, I've never been taken seriously about my pain, so I haven't been completely honest with you. I didn't want my pain pills to be taken away (which isn't enough anyway), so I've been going along and saying everything is going okay. But in reality, everything is too much. I can't do household chores, and can't even work for more than one or two days a week without being in excruciating pain." I'm just worried that she is going to be like every other doctor and think I just want pills or something. YEAH I WANT PILLS! THEY ARE THE ONLY THING THAT WORK! Even then, it will never fix things. I have an appointment with a specialist. She works on spine alignment or something, I don't know.
We shall see.
I'm trying to be a more social person. It's hard though. I don't have a car and adam works odd hours. I can't blame him for not being up for much though. He just got over a 12 hour a day schedule, and he's sore a lot. I would be the same way.
I'm also working on bettering myself in school. This block I only passed my classes with a C - and D+. Next is Math and a psych class. I'm hoping I will be better in the Psych class since I enjoy it. Math is going to be a struggle, but luckily it is high school level algebra. Thank god I go to school online. Some people haven't been in a class for 30 years!
I need to start thinking about my back too. I'm torn between disability, or holding out and trying to find a job that doesn't effect my back, which is really hard. Nobody has even given me a call for an interview. I want to work, but don't want to go through the same struggle because of my pain, like i have so many times before. Employers don't like a person like me.I'm a liability to every aspect of their business. My mom has been stressing me to go on disability for a while. So I think I'm going to visit my doctor and say, "look, I've never been taken seriously about my pain, so I haven't been completely honest with you. I didn't want my pain pills to be taken away (which isn't enough anyway), so I've been going along and saying everything is going okay. But in reality, everything is too much. I can't do household chores, and can't even work for more than one or two days a week without being in excruciating pain." I'm just worried that she is going to be like every other doctor and think I just want pills or something. YEAH I WANT PILLS! THEY ARE THE ONLY THING THAT WORK! Even then, it will never fix things. I have an appointment with a specialist. She works on spine alignment or something, I don't know.
We shall see.