None of The Above, All of the Below
When you get very livid, what do you want to do?
a) Take salsa lessons.
b) Eat a polish sausage.
c) Pick someone else’s nose with oversized pliers.
d) Pee in a glass half full of water.
Which statement do you feel is most accurate about eating a hotdog?
a) It takes too long to accomplish.
b) It is a heartbreaking task.
c) It gives you greasy thighs.
d) It tastes nothing like a hotdog.
What do you associate with the phrase “pocket diversions”?
a) The letter P of the letter V.
b) Collapse and survival.
c) A handmade, handsomely bound 4½” x 7”? book of epitaphs.
d) A roadmap to Hell.
How do you feel about the act of intercourse?
a) It is overrated.
b) It is undervalued.
c) It is like picking someone else’s nose with a kielbasa.
d) It is necessarily complicated.
Which image is closest to the first image that comes to mind in picturing your significant other anally fisting a person other than yourself?
a) An agitated bag of doritos.
b) A white stallion with purpled, flared nostrils.
c) Your mother stuffing an impossibly small kielbasa.
d) A used toothpick.
How many slices of bread reside in a standard-issue loaf?
a) 22.
b) 11.
c) Depends on the size of the rolling pin.
d) What the fuck is this?
Which kind of strategy do you prefer in times of war?
a) Lemonade stand-offish.
b) Hospital duplicity.
c) Electric Amish.
d) Fashion.
How do you feel right now?
a) Gypped, but in good stead in the eyes of the law.
b) Stymied, frazzled, and gaseous.
c) Like a conscientious objector in the battle of the sexes.
d) Hyper-gendered and old.
a) Take salsa lessons.
b) Eat a polish sausage.
c) Pick someone else’s nose with oversized pliers.
d) Pee in a glass half full of water.
Which statement do you feel is most accurate about eating a hotdog?
a) It takes too long to accomplish.
b) It is a heartbreaking task.
c) It gives you greasy thighs.
d) It tastes nothing like a hotdog.
What do you associate with the phrase “pocket diversions”?
a) The letter P of the letter V.
b) Collapse and survival.
c) A handmade, handsomely bound 4½” x 7”? book of epitaphs.
d) A roadmap to Hell.
How do you feel about the act of intercourse?
a) It is overrated.
b) It is undervalued.
c) It is like picking someone else’s nose with a kielbasa.
d) It is necessarily complicated.
Which image is closest to the first image that comes to mind in picturing your significant other anally fisting a person other than yourself?
a) An agitated bag of doritos.
b) A white stallion with purpled, flared nostrils.
c) Your mother stuffing an impossibly small kielbasa.
d) A used toothpick.
How many slices of bread reside in a standard-issue loaf?
a) 22.
b) 11.
c) Depends on the size of the rolling pin.
d) What the fuck is this?
Which kind of strategy do you prefer in times of war?
a) Lemonade stand-offish.
b) Hospital duplicity.
c) Electric Amish.
d) Fashion.
How do you feel right now?
a) Gypped, but in good stead in the eyes of the law.
b) Stymied, frazzled, and gaseous.
c) Like a conscientious objector in the battle of the sexes.
d) Hyper-gendered and old.