Hedonism and a Breathalyzer
Just then, the phone rang. It was another correction. "Did we say doorknobs? We meant doorknobs and ATMs and mint bowls at restaurants. And escalator guide-rails. And stuffed animals, chairs, coins and windows." We hung up and, feeling blue, made an Aquavit and orange juice. We glanced at the front door in time to catch a note being slipped underneath. "Also," it said, "pillows, babies, paper and tyres. On all these things, wouldn't you know it, we have discovered fecal matter. Sometimes more of it than you'd care to know." We made another Aquavit and orange, and wondered if there was so much fecal matter elsewhere, in Scandinavia, say. The mail came a few hours later, and in it was a letter with a longer list, more details and many sketches. "PS," it said, "It's no better in Scandinavia. Open-faced sandwiches? We needn't explain the implications."