for intermediate fiction

[lizardscrawls]

the assignment was to write a family story taking place in a small space in a short amount of time. it had to be written in first person and present tense.

this was terrific fun to write.

how does it work? questions, comments, suggestions? oh, and any other ideas for a title? i don't like this one so much.

Comments

[b_bootsisdead]

This is pretty funny, Sarah. I like it a lot.

I can see why you wouldn't want to put in any visual descriptions, since it's stated several times that Lizandra can't open her eyes and therefore not describing things keeps the reader in the dark with her, but since this piece is humorous and these characters are pretty colorful, I'd kind of like to know what they look like, since the narrator has obviously seen them before. I think you could do soooo much with physical description in this piece.

So the old classic critique(although, once again, I can totally understand why you wouldn't want to do this, but): visuals please.

[rubygloom178]

hey, i just wanted to say thanks for defending my line breaks in entropy. it really meant alot. ^-^

[rubygloom178]

o and i really like the writing

[lizardscrawls]

no problem! that was an awesome poem.

and thanks!