Why do you always doubt that there can be a better way?

[lizard_queen4]

I can't believe I'm resorting back to old habits. I thought I had moved on. That I was stronger than that. A moment of weakness undid years of hard work and determination. Weak. That's all I am. I wasn't strong enough to fight it. I had become more than this, it wasn't who I was anymore But now... It came back. The temptation was too great and I fell for it. The rush of it, the buzz. It seemed too good. Then the regret. I thought I had moved on. Left all this in the past. I'm just weak... I know I should resist... I'm just too tired. It's so much easier to give in. But now I have to deal with it. Start building from the beginning again. Start the fight from the very first battle.

I shouldn't have left. It's like leaving a canvas imcomplete. It will never be whole, instead, it's a skeleton of what it could become. I need to go back. Finish what I started.
I need help to be perfectly honest. I can't fight this on my own. It's a battle that I'm going to lose...