(no subject)
I haven't written in a while and no one reads this so it's really just so I have something to look back on that won't be erased in case of computer failure.
I witnessed the end of something that I don't know if I can ever come close to. I finally accepted that Skji aren't going to go out any more. It brings a pain to me that I can not describe. I feel so many things. Mostly sad that Skji really moved on before me. Sad that I made myself look like a total ass for not understanding and sad that I'll never wake up feeling loved the way I once did. for some time now my friends have seen the sadness in my face. I think this will be the beginning of getting better.
I don't think I have ever known sadness. Until now my life has been more amazing than I may ever know again. The love that once embraced me and kept me warm in the coldness of loneliness has been replaced by sorrow. I feel now only the deep need to be loved. I just want to feel some what like the way I once did. I don't think skji can or would want to anymore. The greatest sadness is that I just started to really appreciate how amazing she was recently. It has gotten so that now I can't imagine loving anyone but her. One day I hope I can look back and know I feel better.
I must say though that I don't think I have been subjected to any specific pain that the rest of the world doesn't feel. I think this is just the way life goes. I just wish it wasn't this way. Everywhere I go I wish Skji was with me. I'll never be the same.
At least from this I will really come to appreciate the importance of the good things in life.
I witnessed the end of something that I don't know if I can ever come close to. I finally accepted that Skji aren't going to go out any more. It brings a pain to me that I can not describe. I feel so many things. Mostly sad that Skji really moved on before me. Sad that I made myself look like a total ass for not understanding and sad that I'll never wake up feeling loved the way I once did. for some time now my friends have seen the sadness in my face. I think this will be the beginning of getting better.
I don't think I have ever known sadness. Until now my life has been more amazing than I may ever know again. The love that once embraced me and kept me warm in the coldness of loneliness has been replaced by sorrow. I feel now only the deep need to be loved. I just want to feel some what like the way I once did. I don't think skji can or would want to anymore. The greatest sadness is that I just started to really appreciate how amazing she was recently. It has gotten so that now I can't imagine loving anyone but her. One day I hope I can look back and know I feel better.
I must say though that I don't think I have been subjected to any specific pain that the rest of the world doesn't feel. I think this is just the way life goes. I just wish it wasn't this way. Everywhere I go I wish Skji was with me. I'll never be the same.
At least from this I will really come to appreciate the importance of the good things in life.