~* Violent "Pressure Cooker"*~
~*So i have mixed feelings about everything in my life, every aspect of my life. I learned today in Ecker that I am a Violent "Pressure Cooker" she said that means in conflict or when i get angry I resort to violence and im a "pressure cooker" b.c i hold all my feelings inside. which i was discussing w/ a friend and he agreed that was me perfectly. i guess i agree especially on the violent part lol. So I guess i will try to not be a "pressure cooker". Here goes.. So i leave for camp in 24 days and I am really excited but I think im the only one, well that lives in florida. Every time it comes in conversation, someone always comments that its dumb to be so excited about a camp, or they get upset that im going to be gone all summer. Its hard to explain what the obsession is, its really just a feeling you get when your there and with everyone. Plus I know I'll be missing a lot of family occurrences and vacations if i go. I would miss my mom's brother and wife having their kid ( Emma's new baby sister), -Mya is the top name choice at the moment- which i discussed with them and they said they aren't mad at all, and my other grandma said that it may be best if wasn't there b/c Emma is 6 and a real big brat but i love her for it, and she now has to realize shes not everything to them and if i were to be there i probably would make her cry daily. - I guess that the violent side coming out b/c i don't take that child's shit like the rest of the family does- I have to miss goin to our cabin in PA this summer. I guess i should let you know i live for this vacation every year. I've never missed a trip up since the first time my dad took me when i was 6 months old. it's like where my dad has his little boy i guess b/c we go fishing and build new cabins, fix the gas leaks, and do "outdoors stuff" together. I will miss being a "woods women" as he and my grandfather like to call me. I love goin there, but since i will be missing it Im contemplating going up just me and my dad during the winter or fall. But thats a major IF b/c we have no heating or anything there and it is freezing there, and there are a lot issues goin then b/c its so untech it could be an issue. It's just so beautiful its been my dream for awhile now. i will see when the time comes... on to the topic.. *~
~* I guess my parents aren't helpin the situation to much. If my mom would make up her effin mind it would really be nice. Either get the hell out or fix your attitude. my parents aren't ever really home so when they are I guess they have to work double time to piss me off, who knows whats going on w/ them. And i guess my grandmother now hates us, which is a real help with my mom b.c shes always on my dad's ass about her. And i guess the turing point when i realized that we weren't her favorite ppl was when she uninvited us to my dad's niece's College Graduation, while the rest of the family got to go. I didn't think she got to make the invite list for Jess' graduation but i guess i was wrong. Plus my sister well she's a whole new story in it self. She is satin... just ask jess.. she'll tell you. She think I will always be there for her at anytime, like I will jump up and take her anywhere anytime. " OMG SARAH GREENE WANTS ME TO TAKE HER TO THE MALL.. OMG!! IM SOO FLATTERED!" thats how she thinks. I think she got it from being at Indian Ridge b.c apparently she was "the shit" there and her ego never when back to normal in fact i think it has gotten worse. I ask her to watch the puppies so i can shower or do what ever it is i need to do, b/c i've been watching them all day... " ARE YOU JOKING! IM NOT WATCHING THEM YOU DO IT!!" yes b/c i haven't been since we got them! And her little thing she must do after school everyday, god knows what it is but I can't leave till like 20 mins after the bell rings. Ohh jess and I love that one, it may be up there with im not watching the dogs, I don't know. I can no longer discuss her b/c I may blow-up.*~
~* It may just be me but sometimes I feel like most of my friendships are forced. Don't get me wrong i love being friends w/ them, b/c we all so honest with each other thats there is no drama, and we have a blast together! I just think everything has changed, maybe I have...but something or someone has. I wish it could go back to how it was. I could just need a break from everyone during the summer. ( speakin of that I better get letters from you guys! or you will all die when I return). Well thats all i can discuss this evening b.c i am a "pressure cooker" and i just feel weird sayin all this but whatever its done. Don't laugh.. thats my biggest fear.*~
~* I guess my parents aren't helpin the situation to much. If my mom would make up her effin mind it would really be nice. Either get the hell out or fix your attitude. my parents aren't ever really home so when they are I guess they have to work double time to piss me off, who knows whats going on w/ them. And i guess my grandmother now hates us, which is a real help with my mom b.c shes always on my dad's ass about her. And i guess the turing point when i realized that we weren't her favorite ppl was when she uninvited us to my dad's niece's College Graduation, while the rest of the family got to go. I didn't think she got to make the invite list for Jess' graduation but i guess i was wrong. Plus my sister well she's a whole new story in it self. She is satin... just ask jess.. she'll tell you. She think I will always be there for her at anytime, like I will jump up and take her anywhere anytime. " OMG SARAH GREENE WANTS ME TO TAKE HER TO THE MALL.. OMG!! IM SOO FLATTERED!" thats how she thinks. I think she got it from being at Indian Ridge b.c apparently she was "the shit" there and her ego never when back to normal in fact i think it has gotten worse. I ask her to watch the puppies so i can shower or do what ever it is i need to do, b/c i've been watching them all day... " ARE YOU JOKING! IM NOT WATCHING THEM YOU DO IT!!" yes b/c i haven't been since we got them! And her little thing she must do after school everyday, god knows what it is but I can't leave till like 20 mins after the bell rings. Ohh jess and I love that one, it may be up there with im not watching the dogs, I don't know. I can no longer discuss her b/c I may blow-up.*~
~* It may just be me but sometimes I feel like most of my friendships are forced. Don't get me wrong i love being friends w/ them, b/c we all so honest with each other thats there is no drama, and we have a blast together! I just think everything has changed, maybe I have...but something or someone has. I wish it could go back to how it was. I could just need a break from everyone during the summer. ( speakin of that I better get letters from you guys! or you will all die when I return). Well thats all i can discuss this evening b.c i am a "pressure cooker" and i just feel weird sayin all this but whatever its done. Don't laugh.. thats my biggest fear.*~