My Foray Into The Wonderful World Of Vegetarianism
Righto. My family is insane! Since I went to college, family meals have gone from not too often to practically nonexistent. Tonight is the first time since I've been home that mother is actually cooking, and so I didn't need to tell her about my foray in the wonderful world of vegetarianism until tonight. She was less than thrilled. Much less! Well, basically I told her and she grumbled something under her breath and walked out of my bedroom. Then she yelled down the hall, "You're eating that chicken!"
We continued our conversation downstairs a little later.
Our Conversation: (Scene: The laundry tubs, a ranting mother a calm, slightly bemused daughter)
Mother: You need meat! How do you think you're going to get your protein? What you really need to do is get rid of those bad starches! (Because obviously, bread is very evil. I mean, really, don't you just see it's fangs trying to lunge at you when you sink your teeth into a bread stick? Sorry, tangent!) You need beans, beans and lentils! And why do you want to be a vegetarian in the first place?
Me: Well, I guess I wanted to try it.
Mother: Just wanted to try it? That's how girls get pregnant! "Well why'd you have sex?" (whiny tone) "I just wanted to try it."
Me: You just compared teen pregnancy to becoming a vegetarian. Oh, that's good analogy, Mom.
Mother: It is! It's a great analogy! (laughs)
Later: (M. instructing Dad on what to get at the grocery store)
Mother: Oh, and did you know your daughter is becoming a vegetarian?
(Dad looks at me like I have three heads. This is where I explain myself so well)
Me: I'm not "becoming" a vegetarian. I just want to try it out.
Mother: Yeah, so you'll need to get lots of beans and lentils at the store for her.
Dad: What, she's not full of enough bullshit? (Both laugh)
My parents obviously think they are the funniest people on the face of the planet. Not! Ok, for the folks at school, remember how our R.A. went vegan for three weeks just to see what it was like? That's the idea here. I'm just trying this, to see how long I can "go vegetarian." This reminds of that time when I was about 10 or 12 that I decided I wanted to be the President of the United States when I grew up because I wanted to help our country. We were out to dinner, and my parents looked at me and cracked up! Dad was like, "Sarah, you don't want to be president, trust me." Grumble, grumble grumble.
TTYL Folks!
P.S. - Tonight we are going clubbing! I can see how this summer is shaping up to be: TONS OF FUN!
We continued our conversation downstairs a little later.
Our Conversation: (Scene: The laundry tubs, a ranting mother a calm, slightly bemused daughter)
Mother: You need meat! How do you think you're going to get your protein? What you really need to do is get rid of those bad starches! (Because obviously, bread is very evil. I mean, really, don't you just see it's fangs trying to lunge at you when you sink your teeth into a bread stick? Sorry, tangent!) You need beans, beans and lentils! And why do you want to be a vegetarian in the first place?
Me: Well, I guess I wanted to try it.
Mother: Just wanted to try it? That's how girls get pregnant! "Well why'd you have sex?" (whiny tone) "I just wanted to try it."
Me: You just compared teen pregnancy to becoming a vegetarian. Oh, that's good analogy, Mom.
Mother: It is! It's a great analogy! (laughs)
Later: (M. instructing Dad on what to get at the grocery store)
Mother: Oh, and did you know your daughter is becoming a vegetarian?
(Dad looks at me like I have three heads. This is where I explain myself so well)
Me: I'm not "becoming" a vegetarian. I just want to try it out.
Mother: Yeah, so you'll need to get lots of beans and lentils at the store for her.
Dad: What, she's not full of enough bullshit? (Both laugh)
My parents obviously think they are the funniest people on the face of the planet. Not! Ok, for the folks at school, remember how our R.A. went vegan for three weeks just to see what it was like? That's the idea here. I'm just trying this, to see how long I can "go vegetarian." This reminds of that time when I was about 10 or 12 that I decided I wanted to be the President of the United States when I grew up because I wanted to help our country. We were out to dinner, and my parents looked at me and cracked up! Dad was like, "Sarah, you don't want to be president, trust me." Grumble, grumble grumble.
TTYL Folks!
P.S. - Tonight we are going clubbing! I can see how this summer is shaping up to be: TONS OF FUN!