saturday night and i like the way u move
Basically.
Niki is lying, this is how it REALLY went.
i spied something interesting [ ohmyactualgosh ] and texted niki. Niki rang me and we decided she should hurry over to analyse the information we had.
then the rest of the evening went as followed:
- literally massivest spider on my wall.
- niki & i shriek and demand mother comes to hoover it up. the spider slyly darts behind my mirror BUT, we outsmarted it and started vigerously whacking the mirror and it popped over the top. so on came the hoover and we sucked it right up. it was truly immense.
- i insist hoover is removed from my room in the likely case of it springing out again and crawling on me in my sleep til i die. or eat it.
and when we got back from babysitting where was the hoover?
In my room.
and had the spider escaped?
YES IT BLOODY HAD and is currently imprisoned in a plastic little mermaid cup torture chamber, there it shall stay until it has suffocated. but probably longer as im too scared to lift the cup up incase its actually alive and attacks me.
anyway, my evening continued:
- me and niki still in a state of shock go and walk my dog to varndean fields [haha] slashspyabitmore
- it is raining and niki doesnt have a hood so me being the creative genius i am invent her a dog poo bag granny hat which infact made her look like a human condom.
- we then go and almost collect jen from the wrong house [nikis fault obvz.] but luckily i had a good memory and put niki straight, it was infact number 5!! [??i think]
- me and niki laugh at jens twin brother and try and seduce him through her front window whilst waiting for her to come.
- jen appears in some tights/socks which are supposed to stay up but dont coz shes an actual stick insect. I offer to make her a hollister for them, not for her guns.
- back at the ranch we collect our dvd selection and decide we have time for a bit of boppit and free drum lessons.
- niki was shit.
- we venture down the road to the house we are supposed to be babysitting.
- bush pokes my eye ball out.
- we turn up at house, me crying out of one eye, the kids run and hide so we put on dodge ball and have quiet chats.
- long scraggly haired Billy [billy_bong@hotmail] the blatant 11 year old stoner tells us to shutup or go to another room.
- lucky for him we decide to cooperate & go and talk in another room aka RAID THE KITCHEN YEAH chocolate draw omgoshghhh, kettle chips <333, bread sticks, mini cheddars CARB HEAVEN
- niki does ballet whilst jen raids the fridge and smothers her face silly in yogurt. niki is pissing herself and i film it.
- we make prank calls & form a cult - "we hate **w**" . ive well missed being immature.
- we send the kiddiess to bed and make them a story in RHYME using toys. every last word rhymed with WILLY.
- we take some pervo peado pictures which are actually the hilarity but apparently illegal.
- FUCK THE POLICEE
- we find a naked 'Ken' doll and burn a hole in its anal area & make some very funny very immature videos. accidently, all the arms and legs fall off so we hide the evidence and make some videos of brushing jens hair with a broom. she looks dashing.
not alot else happened blahblah legally blonde
- POW we're home. BLAHBLAH myspace BLAHBLAH livejounral blogz damien kiddy fidler.
- suddenly my computer is broken and we are in bed making jen turn off the light because she is closest.
- they tell me the story of the legless 80 yr old woman who gets raped in the mental home then rolls down a hill because she has no legs.
SICK.
i pissed myself silly.
- niki stretches out giving jen no room. real harsh. we gang up on her and make her sleep on the broken side of the bed so if it collapses we will still be comfy. jen doesn't really understand.
and then we make her turn the pc off because she was bl8z closest!!!!! [furthest away]
umm.. anything else?
oh yeah how could i forget, highlight of the evening:
- NIKI SNORING IN MY EAR LIKE A DROWNING/slurping GUINEAPIG
- also, hahahahahhahahah according to niki a twat is not a vagina but infact.. a pregnant fish or mole ???
- ps niki has vagina eyes.
- pps my computer is broken and its all yr fault nixxx.
CHOCOLATE DRAW!!!!! gollllllllllllyyyyyy!!!!
wickid cool.
soz guysss this is literally massive
Niki is lying, this is how it REALLY went.
i spied something interesting [ ohmyactualgosh ] and texted niki. Niki rang me and we decided she should hurry over to analyse the information we had.
then the rest of the evening went as followed:
- literally massivest spider on my wall.
- niki & i shriek and demand mother comes to hoover it up. the spider slyly darts behind my mirror BUT, we outsmarted it and started vigerously whacking the mirror and it popped over the top. so on came the hoover and we sucked it right up. it was truly immense.
- i insist hoover is removed from my room in the likely case of it springing out again and crawling on me in my sleep til i die. or eat it.
and when we got back from babysitting where was the hoover?
In my room.
and had the spider escaped?
YES IT BLOODY HAD and is currently imprisoned in a plastic little mermaid cup torture chamber, there it shall stay until it has suffocated. but probably longer as im too scared to lift the cup up incase its actually alive and attacks me.
anyway, my evening continued:
- me and niki still in a state of shock go and walk my dog to varndean fields [haha] slashspyabitmore
- it is raining and niki doesnt have a hood so me being the creative genius i am invent her a dog poo bag granny hat which infact made her look like a human condom.
- we then go and almost collect jen from the wrong house [nikis fault obvz.] but luckily i had a good memory and put niki straight, it was infact number 5!! [??i think]
- me and niki laugh at jens twin brother and try and seduce him through her front window whilst waiting for her to come.
- jen appears in some tights/socks which are supposed to stay up but dont coz shes an actual stick insect. I offer to make her a hollister for them, not for her guns.
- back at the ranch we collect our dvd selection and decide we have time for a bit of boppit and free drum lessons.
- niki was shit.
- we venture down the road to the house we are supposed to be babysitting.
- bush pokes my eye ball out.
- we turn up at house, me crying out of one eye, the kids run and hide so we put on dodge ball and have quiet chats.
- long scraggly haired Billy [billy_bong@hotmail] the blatant 11 year old stoner tells us to shutup or go to another room.
- lucky for him we decide to cooperate & go and talk in another room aka RAID THE KITCHEN YEAH chocolate draw omgoshghhh, kettle chips <333, bread sticks, mini cheddars CARB HEAVEN
- niki does ballet whilst jen raids the fridge and smothers her face silly in yogurt. niki is pissing herself and i film it.
- we make prank calls & form a cult - "we hate **w**" . ive well missed being immature.
- we send the kiddiess to bed and make them a story in RHYME using toys. every last word rhymed with WILLY.
- we take some pervo peado pictures which are actually the hilarity but apparently illegal.
- FUCK THE POLICEE
- we find a naked 'Ken' doll and burn a hole in its anal area & make some very funny very immature videos. accidently, all the arms and legs fall off so we hide the evidence and make some videos of brushing jens hair with a broom. she looks dashing.
not alot else happened blahblah legally blonde
- POW we're home. BLAHBLAH myspace BLAHBLAH livejounral blogz damien kiddy fidler.
- suddenly my computer is broken and we are in bed making jen turn off the light because she is closest.
- they tell me the story of the legless 80 yr old woman who gets raped in the mental home then rolls down a hill because she has no legs.
SICK.
i pissed myself silly.
- niki stretches out giving jen no room. real harsh. we gang up on her and make her sleep on the broken side of the bed so if it collapses we will still be comfy. jen doesn't really understand.
and then we make her turn the pc off because she was bl8z closest!!!!! [furthest away]
umm.. anything else?
oh yeah how could i forget, highlight of the evening:
- NIKI SNORING IN MY EAR LIKE A DROWNING/slurping GUINEAPIG
- also, hahahahahhahahah according to niki a twat is not a vagina but infact.. a pregnant fish or mole ???
- ps niki has vagina eyes.
- pps my computer is broken and its all yr fault nixxx.
CHOCOLATE DRAW!!!!! gollllllllllllyyyyyy!!!!
wickid cool.
soz guysss this is literally massive