In which we go off piste
Husband and I stay in the UK for one reason alone: our son. Well technically, he's my step son but since I have pretty much done all of the major bringing up bits since he was 5 (his mother is a waste of space), I think of him as my son. Sadly, he is slowly and catastrophically morphing into a parody of his excuse for a mother at the moment. Pre-teens will do that for you. He doesn't truly understand that the ONLY reason we have remained in the UK is for him. We'd have been long gone by now if he didn't exist.
Every year, I go through the ritual of Christmas (I hate Christmas) just for him. Truth be told, if he didn't exist, Hubs and I would be living full-time in Thailand by now. It'd be a frugal existence, but we are lucky in that we own property and could sell all that and fund a basic, but viable retirement. We'd be living a pretty basic life given the funds we have, but it would be warm and that's essential for my wellbeing as someone with M.E. He's got a brain tumour. I don't know how long he has- neither of us do, but rough estimates come out as a David Bowie song.
So, this year, son has decided he'd like to spend Christmas at his aunt's (sister of bitch from Hell) because, and I quote, "It might be interesting as I have never spent Christmas there before."
Instead of collapsing in tears on each other- which we are apt to do when separated from our son because of that woman, we decided, "Fuck it- he made that choice, let's make ours."
So tomorrow, I am going to spend the day looking into quick getaways to the Maldives for Christmas. I should probably choose Canada so I can see my dad, but it's clear from recent events that he prefers my cousins to me anyway. So yes, I am putting #1 first for once. I don't know how long I have with my husband and having lost just about everyone I love over the years, I am not going to make the same mistake again.
If nobody cares what you do, who you are or how you live your life, then you are free to care for yourself, right?
Every year, I go through the ritual of Christmas (I hate Christmas) just for him. Truth be told, if he didn't exist, Hubs and I would be living full-time in Thailand by now. It'd be a frugal existence, but we are lucky in that we own property and could sell all that and fund a basic, but viable retirement. We'd be living a pretty basic life given the funds we have, but it would be warm and that's essential for my wellbeing as someone with M.E. He's got a brain tumour. I don't know how long he has- neither of us do, but rough estimates come out as a David Bowie song.
So, this year, son has decided he'd like to spend Christmas at his aunt's (sister of bitch from Hell) because, and I quote, "It might be interesting as I have never spent Christmas there before."
Instead of collapsing in tears on each other- which we are apt to do when separated from our son because of that woman, we decided, "Fuck it- he made that choice, let's make ours."
So tomorrow, I am going to spend the day looking into quick getaways to the Maldives for Christmas. I should probably choose Canada so I can see my dad, but it's clear from recent events that he prefers my cousins to me anyway. So yes, I am putting #1 first for once. I don't know how long I have with my husband and having lost just about everyone I love over the years, I am not going to make the same mistake again.
If nobody cares what you do, who you are or how you live your life, then you are free to care for yourself, right?