To the person who broke into my car:
Dear Dumb-ass,
While I realized that my car was in need of a good cleaning, I had no idea it was such an urgent matter! I'd like to thank you for helping me get started with a thorough dig through the front half of my car. I had thought I'd lost my favorite ice scraper, but you managed to find it for me, just in time for winter! And I never realized how much plain old crap had managed to creep under my seats. Without your help, I could have easily overlooked it. I especially appreciate your attention to detail by removing all of those pennies and nickels from my cup holders. They were becoming quite a pain, as they would make my cups unbalanced and I had been putting off digging them all out of there. I see you were kind enough to leave the quarters though, as I know there were only a few and I found those all on the floor. I see you also checked to make sure my glove compartment wasn't too cluttered, but not to worry, I can proudly say I had cleaned and reorganized it just a few months ago!
While I was a little disappointed in how much of a mess you left behind, I understand how cleaning goes and that it often looks worse before it looks better. I just hope you didn't cut your face too badly when you crow-barred my window open. I managed to nick myself a few times as I cleaned, but I was grateful you left out that expensive roll of fancy duct tape I had, which made picking up the glass a breeze. The glitter of glass all across the roof and hood of my car did add a fancy touch and you must have worked extra hard to include that special sparkle. How can I ever thank you enough! The only thing I could ask is that maybe next time we coordinate our cleaning times so we can discuss what should go where. I bet working together we could clean my car in no time at all! Until then best of luck!
Elizabeth
_____
Whoever broke into my car only walked away with my cigarette lighter adapter for my ipod... I think it cost me $25?? My car had nothing of value in it, and it really wouldn't take a genius to figure that out, by say, looking through the windows. What a dumb-ass.
While I realized that my car was in need of a good cleaning, I had no idea it was such an urgent matter! I'd like to thank you for helping me get started with a thorough dig through the front half of my car. I had thought I'd lost my favorite ice scraper, but you managed to find it for me, just in time for winter! And I never realized how much plain old crap had managed to creep under my seats. Without your help, I could have easily overlooked it. I especially appreciate your attention to detail by removing all of those pennies and nickels from my cup holders. They were becoming quite a pain, as they would make my cups unbalanced and I had been putting off digging them all out of there. I see you were kind enough to leave the quarters though, as I know there were only a few and I found those all on the floor. I see you also checked to make sure my glove compartment wasn't too cluttered, but not to worry, I can proudly say I had cleaned and reorganized it just a few months ago!
While I was a little disappointed in how much of a mess you left behind, I understand how cleaning goes and that it often looks worse before it looks better. I just hope you didn't cut your face too badly when you crow-barred my window open. I managed to nick myself a few times as I cleaned, but I was grateful you left out that expensive roll of fancy duct tape I had, which made picking up the glass a breeze. The glitter of glass all across the roof and hood of my car did add a fancy touch and you must have worked extra hard to include that special sparkle. How can I ever thank you enough! The only thing I could ask is that maybe next time we coordinate our cleaning times so we can discuss what should go where. I bet working together we could clean my car in no time at all! Until then best of luck!
Elizabeth
_____
Whoever broke into my car only walked away with my cigarette lighter adapter for my ipod... I think it cost me $25?? My car had nothing of value in it, and it really wouldn't take a genius to figure that out, by say, looking through the windows. What a dumb-ass.