20 weeks / babble
Violet is 20 weeks old today. I keep saying it, but I can't believe it's only been 20 weeks and in that time her - and our lives - have changed so much. This past week she has all of a sudden become a lot more vocal. It's like she just figured out she can express herself through noises other than crying and she is very pleased with herself! She used to make "ah-goo" noises but now she is giggling quite a bit and just generally making lots of happy sounds. It is such a joy to listen to, I just watch her in awe. She seems to get excited by her toys now, as though she is figuring out that they are something enjoyable. I'll put one in front of her and she'll smile and reach her hands out. I love the way she looks at me when I walk in the room after she's finished her nap. It's pure love and happiness on her face. When I hold her on my hip now she grasps onto my clothing or me, I can tell I make her feel safe and at ease. Knowing that I make her feel all of these positive feelings and that she depends on me for this is just indescribable. It fills me with all the good things. Gah. It is SO emotional being a parent. I get that now.
Chris has been out all day and has a friends Buck's party tonight so he'll be home pretty late I imagine. Lately, Violet has been super challenging to get down for her last sleep for the night and sometimes we're pacing with her crying hysterically for what feels like forever. I know she can have a bad day/night but it just feels like it has been happening quite often so I've been trying to figure out what else we can do to help her. I partly believe that her naps during the day are too short (approx 25 minutes) so by the end of the day she is just over tired and hard to settle, and I also think we're probably stimulating her too much at night (TV on in the background, playing with her and talking to her too much) and aren't trying to get her down early enough. So as Chris was out tonight I tried to do things a bit differently and I think it has worked - unless it's been a total one off! As soon as it started to get dark I made sure the TV was off (well it was off anyway) and turned the lights off (only a lamp) and made sure just to sit with her on the couch with a couple of toys. I thought I would then give her a bath, change her, read her a story then she'd probably be ready for bed. But at about 6:30PM she started to grizzle a little bit. She had only been up for less than an hour and so I thought it was too early to go back to sleep, but I figured this was my chance to do something different - so I tried to put her to bed anyway to see if it worked. It turns out she was (still?) tired and after only a minute or 2 of fussing she fell asleep and slept for 1 HOUR! When she woke at 7:30PM, instead of talking to her and getting her up (as we usually might) I picked her up quietly, fed her in the darkened room with no noise and she almost fell back asleep again when she had finished. I tried to put her back down and she started screaming, I wondered if maybe she hadn't finished feeding so I tried again and she kept feeding until she fell asleep. Then I put her down and that was about 2 hours ago. Presuming she stays asleep for a while longer I'd consider the routine much more of a success than our usual one! Ordinarily we'd probably keep her up longer thinking that's what she wants, sitting her with us while the TV is on and having her join us in the kitchen while we cook dinner. All of this being incredibly stimulating for late in the day and probably a bad idea. I didn't even get the chance to give her a bath tonight as she went down so much earlier than normal, so in future I think we need to start doing that earlier too. I'm also going to try and help her to sleep longer during the day by playing white noise in her room. Chris commented that maybe the room is too quiet and so when she gets to the lighter phase of her sleep she just wakes up because it's so quiet and she probably wonders what's going on. I have heard it's a great thing to try so we'll see if that works too. I just want her to be as happy as she can be and not frustrated so much. It feels good to have a bit of a plan and not feel completely helpless. Motherhood, for me, is certainly feeling more natural these days and I feel like I really know Violet. It's a good feeling and very far removed from those early newborn days that are just so all-consuming and overwhelming.
What else? I'm still just so excited about the "glamping" we're doing as a family in a couple of weeks! It's going to be amazing and I can't wait to have some time 'away from it all' and spend time in nature. I've got camp food ideas to prepare in advance so we don't have to feel like we've got to go into town and leave our cosy space by the ocean. I paid too much for this experience to spend it anywhere other than in or near that fancy tent for the 2 days! Hehe.
Oh I got my period for the first time this past week. A bit of a downer, but a relief to know my body is going back to normal. Now if only I could shift this flabby skin pudge on my stomach?! Gah. I'm trying not to focus on it too much because I know I have to give myself time, my body has gone through an INCREDIBLE change and experience and I am grateful for what it has done and the gift of life it has given us. So I try not to engage in too much negative self talk...
It's almost 10:00PM. I wonder what time Chris will get home tonight/tomorrow? It's Pete's bucks, a friend he's had for many years and so it will probably be a big one. Chris doesn't have nights like this anymore either, so I think he'll be pretty stoked to be reliving some of his glory days. Hah. They'll probably end up at a strip club as is usual for a bucks. *eye roll* Lets just say I wont be pandering to his epic hangover tomorrow. Oh, so his wedding is in a couple of weeks and we'll be going and leaving Violet with my sister Taryn while we are out. It will be the first time I have spent that long away from her. It's so hard when you are exclusively breastfeeding to be away from your baby. I feel this sense of responsibility to be there to feed her and I want to do it. Of course this wedding is a pretty special occasion so it's important that we go if we can. Thankfully my sister is keen to help out and take care of Violet so we are lucky. We'll go back to their place for the night anyway so it will only be about 7 or so hours we are apart. This means I have to express milk to keep for bottles though and I haven't done this yet. It's a bit of a worry considering the wedding is 2 weeks away now. Shit! I need to get started ASAP. I know once I start pumping regularly though it will probably increase my supply and make it easier each time I do it. I guess I am just a bit worried about doing it because I don't want to risk getting an infection from over stimulating my supply. I just need to be careful. But I need at LEAST 4 x bottles of 120ml to feel comfortable that I will have enough. I also need to find a dress that I don't feel frumpy in...
Anyway, enough babble for one night!
Chris has been out all day and has a friends Buck's party tonight so he'll be home pretty late I imagine. Lately, Violet has been super challenging to get down for her last sleep for the night and sometimes we're pacing with her crying hysterically for what feels like forever. I know she can have a bad day/night but it just feels like it has been happening quite often so I've been trying to figure out what else we can do to help her. I partly believe that her naps during the day are too short (approx 25 minutes) so by the end of the day she is just over tired and hard to settle, and I also think we're probably stimulating her too much at night (TV on in the background, playing with her and talking to her too much) and aren't trying to get her down early enough. So as Chris was out tonight I tried to do things a bit differently and I think it has worked - unless it's been a total one off! As soon as it started to get dark I made sure the TV was off (well it was off anyway) and turned the lights off (only a lamp) and made sure just to sit with her on the couch with a couple of toys. I thought I would then give her a bath, change her, read her a story then she'd probably be ready for bed. But at about 6:30PM she started to grizzle a little bit. She had only been up for less than an hour and so I thought it was too early to go back to sleep, but I figured this was my chance to do something different - so I tried to put her to bed anyway to see if it worked. It turns out she was (still?) tired and after only a minute or 2 of fussing she fell asleep and slept for 1 HOUR! When she woke at 7:30PM, instead of talking to her and getting her up (as we usually might) I picked her up quietly, fed her in the darkened room with no noise and she almost fell back asleep again when she had finished. I tried to put her back down and she started screaming, I wondered if maybe she hadn't finished feeding so I tried again and she kept feeding until she fell asleep. Then I put her down and that was about 2 hours ago. Presuming she stays asleep for a while longer I'd consider the routine much more of a success than our usual one! Ordinarily we'd probably keep her up longer thinking that's what she wants, sitting her with us while the TV is on and having her join us in the kitchen while we cook dinner. All of this being incredibly stimulating for late in the day and probably a bad idea. I didn't even get the chance to give her a bath tonight as she went down so much earlier than normal, so in future I think we need to start doing that earlier too. I'm also going to try and help her to sleep longer during the day by playing white noise in her room. Chris commented that maybe the room is too quiet and so when she gets to the lighter phase of her sleep she just wakes up because it's so quiet and she probably wonders what's going on. I have heard it's a great thing to try so we'll see if that works too. I just want her to be as happy as she can be and not frustrated so much. It feels good to have a bit of a plan and not feel completely helpless. Motherhood, for me, is certainly feeling more natural these days and I feel like I really know Violet. It's a good feeling and very far removed from those early newborn days that are just so all-consuming and overwhelming.
What else? I'm still just so excited about the "glamping" we're doing as a family in a couple of weeks! It's going to be amazing and I can't wait to have some time 'away from it all' and spend time in nature. I've got camp food ideas to prepare in advance so we don't have to feel like we've got to go into town and leave our cosy space by the ocean. I paid too much for this experience to spend it anywhere other than in or near that fancy tent for the 2 days! Hehe.
Oh I got my period for the first time this past week. A bit of a downer, but a relief to know my body is going back to normal. Now if only I could shift this flabby skin pudge on my stomach?! Gah. I'm trying not to focus on it too much because I know I have to give myself time, my body has gone through an INCREDIBLE change and experience and I am grateful for what it has done and the gift of life it has given us. So I try not to engage in too much negative self talk...
It's almost 10:00PM. I wonder what time Chris will get home tonight/tomorrow? It's Pete's bucks, a friend he's had for many years and so it will probably be a big one. Chris doesn't have nights like this anymore either, so I think he'll be pretty stoked to be reliving some of his glory days. Hah. They'll probably end up at a strip club as is usual for a bucks. *eye roll* Lets just say I wont be pandering to his epic hangover tomorrow. Oh, so his wedding is in a couple of weeks and we'll be going and leaving Violet with my sister Taryn while we are out. It will be the first time I have spent that long away from her. It's so hard when you are exclusively breastfeeding to be away from your baby. I feel this sense of responsibility to be there to feed her and I want to do it. Of course this wedding is a pretty special occasion so it's important that we go if we can. Thankfully my sister is keen to help out and take care of Violet so we are lucky. We'll go back to their place for the night anyway so it will only be about 7 or so hours we are apart. This means I have to express milk to keep for bottles though and I haven't done this yet. It's a bit of a worry considering the wedding is 2 weeks away now. Shit! I need to get started ASAP. I know once I start pumping regularly though it will probably increase my supply and make it easier each time I do it. I guess I am just a bit worried about doing it because I don't want to risk getting an infection from over stimulating my supply. I just need to be careful. But I need at LEAST 4 x bottles of 120ml to feel comfortable that I will have enough. I also need to find a dress that I don't feel frumpy in...
Anyway, enough babble for one night!