catching up
Thought i would throw a lil thoughts out there since i havent posted in a lil while.. let me see what i can talk about.. I got back from cancun a couple weeks ago.. it was easily the time of my life.. i long to go back there as soon as i can.. i enjoyed almost everything about the trip..the people i went with, the hotel,(kind of) the experience..i became closer to people just from one trip.. i learned a lot about people and alot from people...lets see.. first off... i became good friends with Jo who i hadn't really known before but after a lot of late night/early morning talks till sunrise we really learned a lot about each other and became good friends.. not to mention the first day of the trip we had to get naked for a free t-shirt.. but that is besides the point...anyways.. so that is good that i made a friend that i didn't really know before the trip.. i learned that Kim and timbo are a really nice couple and are very cool to hang out with.. i already knew blackham,rico,and carney.. and Ali turned out to be a very cool shit.. i knew her before.. but not that well.. I kind of learned a lot about Lisa on this trip too.. im not sure if it is a good thing or a bad thing.. i figured that we would always be good friends no matter what and i showed that i will be by her side in the thick and thin.. but i am still not sure if we grew closer over the trip or further apart..i mean i have always had a crush on her and everything.. but i always knew nothing would come of it.. and i think i found out in cancun that i wouldn't want anything to come out of it..actually i dunno.. i have no clue what the hell i am talking about...only god knows... anyways got back and was sick as a dog.. i guess i have had bronchitis since december.. and the doc wasn't too happy about it.. the good thing is that i am excused from my classes till i feel better... and if i want i can take a medical leave....hmmmm what else? me and jac are not talkin at the moment.. she says that she can not handle the frustration of being friends with me..it hurts.. but i can also see where she is coming from and i understand her.... but still she is the love of my life and not talkin to her really eats me up inside... it's been like a week but yet in my heart it feels like a year..i want to like other girls and hook up with other girls.. but as of right now i dont think anyone will ever compare to the way i feel about jacquie.. im looking but not really trying.. i dunno if this is a sign that i really should try to find someone else i could give my heart too.. but there may be only 1 or 2 people right now other than jacquie that i would even consider doing that too.. and i am certainly not ready for that.. i wanna play the single scene... but i cant.. i need to love.. i need to be loved.. i want to cuddle next to someone everynight.. i wanna lay in bed in the afternoon and listen to the rain fall..i wanna be able wake up every morning with a smile on my face.. basically i want what i had and lost(my own fault) with jacquie.. soo many good memories.. more than enough to cross out that bad ones..and ive said it before and i will always say it.. jac has a spot in my heart that i dont think anyone can replace.. and i hope i have a part of hers..