hahahaha...coolness ;p
Your champion is Helen of Sparta. Or is it Helen of
Troy? Ah geez. Ok, you're obviously not really
a fighter type. Wouldn't want to marr that lily
white skin with the horrors of battle, would
you? Ok, the highights for you are extreme
beauty, the face that launched a thousand ships
and all that. And, though that may seem very
material, popular culture says that beauty is
the most valuable attribute woman can have.
While that threatens to send me into a tangent
of political rage, in your case I hope they're
right, because you have very few other virtues
to make up for it. You knew what would happen
if you ran off with Paris. It's not just a
matter of a normal husband and wife not getting
along, you were Queen of Sparta! You were to
lead the people of your country! And you did,
right over to Troy. Granted, Orlando Bloom did
come after you in the night, and that's a
difficult thing to face down, but still. But
you do get to be in the champions list, because
you did in fact start the war. Paris asked you
to come with him, and you said, well, Menelaus
will make an alliance with Agamemnon and follow
us, and burn your city to the ground, murder
your family, and thousands upon thousands will
die, but, you know what, sure. Because for at
least another few weeks I can be shagging
Orlando Bloom. Dispicable.
The Day There Truly Were a Lot of Fish in the Sea: Select Your Champion of Troy
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