Just when you think you have it all under control... the world shifts yet again!
Well, I just got an email from Jordan's (ice cream place I work at in the summer) and they told me they were opening up the 9th... which I won't be there for, I will be in DC with Portia! Nothin too bad, but I have been waiting all Spring for them to let me know, and they have been no where to be found, and then all of a sudden they pop up and give me no notice. In the email that they sent me it said that they would be open "week-ends only for a few weeks, Friday 3-8 Sat. & Sun. 11:30-8" Ok, So I have time to tie up all the loose ends from this school year and get my schedule together before I start full time there. Believe me, I am so planning on being full time there, I have been looking forward all school year to working at Jordan's this summer again. I love them all so much! Ok so... I scheduled out my time, because that is now what I do... I am a crazy scheduling freak! So I got out one of my weekly time slot sheets that have spaces for every half hour from 8am to 9pm for every day o the week... yes I really do have them... and I use them too you're just jealous! Anyway, I got that out and figured out times of when I could work at Jordan's, substitute teach, and work at J.Crew all around when I am going to school. I had it figured out and I thought I would just be really busy... Monday's I had class from 9am to 12:30pm and PT usually at 2pm... after that I would studying in the library. Tuesday I could substitute teach from 8am to 3pm and then do work at home after that, or if I didn't get called to sub, I could go to school to work in the library. Wednesday, I have class from 9am to 12:30pm and then I work at J.Crew from 4pm to 10pm. So I have like 1/2 an hour in between school and work because it takes me and hour to get home from school and a 1/2 hour to get to J.Crew and I still have to get dressed/packed/eat something before I head out. Thursdays I could substitute teach from 8am to 3pm and I work at J.Crew from 4pm to 10pm and if I didn't get called to sub, I would just go to the library to study. Fridays I could substitute teach from 8am to 3pm again if I didn't get called to sub I would go to the library, but Jordan's was going to be open at 3pm, so I would just get to Jordan's as soon as I could probably around like 3:30 or 4 and then work until like 8:30pm. Saturday's I would work at Jordan's from 11:30am to about 8:30pm. In the morning and evening I would do school work. On Sundays I am supposed to work at J.Crew, that's one of the days I told them I could work, but Jordan's is open from 11:30 to 8, so I could open at J.Crew at 8am and work until like 1pm and then go straight over to Jordan's until about 8:30... like I said it would be a crazy schedule and I would be rather tired, but I could so do it.
Then, I got a call from Mrs. J saying that they were going to be open only the weekend on the first weekend when I was in DC and then they would be opening full time after that... so that means... I can't substitute teach, I can't work at J.Crew, I will have to not be at Jordan's when I have classes, so that means they won't be up for me to be missing any work to have time to straighten out my schedule. But Mrs. J said something about the 17th or 18th which is the weekend after I come back from DC, so that means I guess that they won't be open during the week on the week of May 12-15, but will be open on that Friday, Saturday, and Sunday... so I would be able to work at J.Crew that Wednesday, Thursday, but not Sunday, so that would be at least good and I could substitute teach that week and just be a little late to Jordan's that Friday by like a 1/2 hour. And it's not like I can just not start yet because they need me as most everyone is still away at school. I'm probably not going to be able to go to Tilton's graduation.
The easy way out of this would be to call Alton where I sub and tell them that I am done subbing after May 16th, tell J.Crew that I am done after the 15th, but I just started back at J.Crew and I don't think they thought I would be going back the Jordan's I think they think I will be there all summer, and I was planning on working a few hours here and there during the summer to get a little extra money and to keep that job option open if I am going to be here for another semester next year. I also was planning on subbing until the end of Alton's school year. And it sucks just being like yes I made a commitment to sub this year, but just kidding now I am done, granted that one would be the easier of the two to get out of, but I just feel like I'm letting people down, which is not a good thing with me, I hate upsetting people and having people disappointed in me. Things were going rather well at J.Crew too, I was one of the older ones and I was getting respect because I knew what I was doing there this time around. I was just about the get an allotment card which is when I buy clothes there that I can wear to work I get a larger discount on them and I didn't get that over the winter because I was considered seasonal even though they all wanted me to come back and I told them that I probably would be at some point. But I just thought I would get to work at J.Crew for longer than it is turning out... I have only been back for like 2 weeks...
I was going to stop by Jordan's tomorrow and talk to Mr and Mrs J and let them know where I am at and work everything out, but I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow at 1:30 in Concord so I have to head to that right after classes get out at 12:30 and then I have to work in Tilton at J.Crew at 4, so I'm probably not going to even have a chance to stop at home to change I'll have to be ready all day for work. So that means a whole other day of me being stressed about my schedule and not knowing what is going on in my life and letting people down.... boy can you tell I havne't had a therapy appointment in a while... I really hope Janice calls me back to make one soon because I need to get everything straightened out again.... wow I have issues ha ha ... I am like certifiably insane! But anyway I was then going to go to talk to the J's on thursday because the only thing I have to do is work at J.Crew... unless I get called to sub, and then I won't have time to stop and talk to them, which I probably will because I don't want to. Mom said I should tell them I have to leave at 2pm from subbing so I would have time to stop by, but then I have and appointment in Concord on Friday and I'll probably get called to sub then too, and I would have to leave early to make a 3:20 appointment in concord, and I don't want to have to leave early from subbing two days in a row....
The other thing that is stressing me out right now is my school work. I have this 10 page paper due fro my politics class on the 5th of May. 10 pages doesn't seem like that bad unless it's on a topic that you really have to research and that you aren't done researching for and you only have like 4 lines typed of it and you have been procrastinating all semester on it.... which I have. I came to the UNHM library today to work on it, and guess what... I have been here for what... oh 3 hours or so and I have done nothing but open the website I need and Microsoft word... yea... real productive...I also have an Italian quiz on monday the 5th and my workbook is due then which I have like 30 pages I have to do in it. Then that wednesday the 7th I have a chapter test in Italian... I also have readings I have to do for Politics which I haven't really done any of all year... which was working out fine for me, but I haven't gotten my latest test back so I don't really know how I did on that... crap! Then I leave for DC that thursday the 8th which I haven't planned what I'm packing how I'm getting to the airport how I am getting from the BWI airport to Portia's school, when and how I am getting to Towson to visit, when my interview is, and how I am getting home from the airport once I get back to manchester... by the time I get home, it will be time to work at J.crew some more and study for my finals which will be the 19th and 21st (very limited studying time)... I also have a debate for politics class I don't know when that is or how I'm going to study for that... and then around the 21st Liz arrives for a week and I will probably be working the whole time, which sucks big time for her...
I am just really stressed and anxious about what the hell I am doing with my life... My college applications are also being put together still and then once all that shit is in I have to deal with the anxiety of hearing back from those schools. And even with that, I don't know if that is going to work because I haven't done my FAFSA stuff and I might just end up at UNHM again, which I would rather not do because I don't want to live at home again next year. I also am wicked stressed about a stupid boy who is playing stupid games and being stupid (real awesome sentence I know).
I just am going to have a total melt down at some point soon I know.... what a way to spend my 1st day of being 20! Happy Birthday to me....
Then, I got a call from Mrs. J saying that they were going to be open only the weekend on the first weekend when I was in DC and then they would be opening full time after that... so that means... I can't substitute teach, I can't work at J.Crew, I will have to not be at Jordan's when I have classes, so that means they won't be up for me to be missing any work to have time to straighten out my schedule. But Mrs. J said something about the 17th or 18th which is the weekend after I come back from DC, so that means I guess that they won't be open during the week on the week of May 12-15, but will be open on that Friday, Saturday, and Sunday... so I would be able to work at J.Crew that Wednesday, Thursday, but not Sunday, so that would be at least good and I could substitute teach that week and just be a little late to Jordan's that Friday by like a 1/2 hour. And it's not like I can just not start yet because they need me as most everyone is still away at school. I'm probably not going to be able to go to Tilton's graduation.
The easy way out of this would be to call Alton where I sub and tell them that I am done subbing after May 16th, tell J.Crew that I am done after the 15th, but I just started back at J.Crew and I don't think they thought I would be going back the Jordan's I think they think I will be there all summer, and I was planning on working a few hours here and there during the summer to get a little extra money and to keep that job option open if I am going to be here for another semester next year. I also was planning on subbing until the end of Alton's school year. And it sucks just being like yes I made a commitment to sub this year, but just kidding now I am done, granted that one would be the easier of the two to get out of, but I just feel like I'm letting people down, which is not a good thing with me, I hate upsetting people and having people disappointed in me. Things were going rather well at J.Crew too, I was one of the older ones and I was getting respect because I knew what I was doing there this time around. I was just about the get an allotment card which is when I buy clothes there that I can wear to work I get a larger discount on them and I didn't get that over the winter because I was considered seasonal even though they all wanted me to come back and I told them that I probably would be at some point. But I just thought I would get to work at J.Crew for longer than it is turning out... I have only been back for like 2 weeks...
I was going to stop by Jordan's tomorrow and talk to Mr and Mrs J and let them know where I am at and work everything out, but I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow at 1:30 in Concord so I have to head to that right after classes get out at 12:30 and then I have to work in Tilton at J.Crew at 4, so I'm probably not going to even have a chance to stop at home to change I'll have to be ready all day for work. So that means a whole other day of me being stressed about my schedule and not knowing what is going on in my life and letting people down.... boy can you tell I havne't had a therapy appointment in a while... I really hope Janice calls me back to make one soon because I need to get everything straightened out again.... wow I have issues ha ha ... I am like certifiably insane! But anyway I was then going to go to talk to the J's on thursday because the only thing I have to do is work at J.Crew... unless I get called to sub, and then I won't have time to stop and talk to them, which I probably will because I don't want to. Mom said I should tell them I have to leave at 2pm from subbing so I would have time to stop by, but then I have and appointment in Concord on Friday and I'll probably get called to sub then too, and I would have to leave early to make a 3:20 appointment in concord, and I don't want to have to leave early from subbing two days in a row....
The other thing that is stressing me out right now is my school work. I have this 10 page paper due fro my politics class on the 5th of May. 10 pages doesn't seem like that bad unless it's on a topic that you really have to research and that you aren't done researching for and you only have like 4 lines typed of it and you have been procrastinating all semester on it.... which I have. I came to the UNHM library today to work on it, and guess what... I have been here for what... oh 3 hours or so and I have done nothing but open the website I need and Microsoft word... yea... real productive...I also have an Italian quiz on monday the 5th and my workbook is due then which I have like 30 pages I have to do in it. Then that wednesday the 7th I have a chapter test in Italian... I also have readings I have to do for Politics which I haven't really done any of all year... which was working out fine for me, but I haven't gotten my latest test back so I don't really know how I did on that... crap! Then I leave for DC that thursday the 8th which I haven't planned what I'm packing how I'm getting to the airport how I am getting from the BWI airport to Portia's school, when and how I am getting to Towson to visit, when my interview is, and how I am getting home from the airport once I get back to manchester... by the time I get home, it will be time to work at J.crew some more and study for my finals which will be the 19th and 21st (very limited studying time)... I also have a debate for politics class I don't know when that is or how I'm going to study for that... and then around the 21st Liz arrives for a week and I will probably be working the whole time, which sucks big time for her...
I am just really stressed and anxious about what the hell I am doing with my life... My college applications are also being put together still and then once all that shit is in I have to deal with the anxiety of hearing back from those schools. And even with that, I don't know if that is going to work because I haven't done my FAFSA stuff and I might just end up at UNHM again, which I would rather not do because I don't want to live at home again next year. I also am wicked stressed about a stupid boy who is playing stupid games and being stupid (real awesome sentence I know).
I just am going to have a total melt down at some point soon I know.... what a way to spend my 1st day of being 20! Happy Birthday to me....