(no subject)
I hate my life.
- my dad lives a thousand miles away. our relationship only involves talking about the weather. meaning we have no relationship whatsoever.
- i'm always alone like all day long. i have no one to talk to.
- i have no friends...no one ever calls to see how it's going or to hang out. i know when they ask how i am, they just want me to say good, how are you? and move on with our lives.
- i feel like no one truly cares about me besides like nick and tim.
- i never see nick. 2 times if we're lucky a week for maybe like 3 or 4 hours each time. his mom is insane and is stressing our relationship out so much.
- my mom seems to only care about trying to find somebody else to spend her life with even though my parents just got divorced less than a year ago instead of truly taking some time to herself. i hate when she talks about stuff like that with me.
- i'm being pulled in a million different directions. when people actually do want to hang out they only want to when it's convenient for them instead of compromising and if i can't hang out when they want to then they don't want to at all.
- i feel farther away from God than i ever have before. which frightens me. i know He's there but i just feel extremely distant.
- i've thought of suicide the past week more than i ever have. however, i would never follow through with it because i'm more terrified of dying than of living with how sad i am.
- i seem happy on the outside to people but i'm dying on the inside...i literally feel sad all the time. i feel like the weight of the whole freaking world is riding on my shoulders. i'm miserable.
- i've cried 5 out of the past 6 days because i'm so extremely sad.
- i think i need counseling, someone that i don't know because i really don't feel like pastor wentzel or tim can really help me at this point. but i would never ask my mom to consider having me see someone because i know we don't have the money for that (oh yeah, something else that's depressing me).
- i can't handle all of this anymore. i'm suffocating.
"maybe we don't realize how much we're carrying around until we begin to let go of some of it."
- Jamie Tworkowski (founder of the non-profit: to write love on her arms )
...i want to let go of some of this, i want the chains to be unlocked.
- my dad lives a thousand miles away. our relationship only involves talking about the weather. meaning we have no relationship whatsoever.
- i'm always alone like all day long. i have no one to talk to.
- i have no friends...no one ever calls to see how it's going or to hang out. i know when they ask how i am, they just want me to say good, how are you? and move on with our lives.
- i feel like no one truly cares about me besides like nick and tim.
- i never see nick. 2 times if we're lucky a week for maybe like 3 or 4 hours each time. his mom is insane and is stressing our relationship out so much.
- my mom seems to only care about trying to find somebody else to spend her life with even though my parents just got divorced less than a year ago instead of truly taking some time to herself. i hate when she talks about stuff like that with me.
- i'm being pulled in a million different directions. when people actually do want to hang out they only want to when it's convenient for them instead of compromising and if i can't hang out when they want to then they don't want to at all.
- i feel farther away from God than i ever have before. which frightens me. i know He's there but i just feel extremely distant.
- i've thought of suicide the past week more than i ever have. however, i would never follow through with it because i'm more terrified of dying than of living with how sad i am.
- i seem happy on the outside to people but i'm dying on the inside...i literally feel sad all the time. i feel like the weight of the whole freaking world is riding on my shoulders. i'm miserable.
- i've cried 5 out of the past 6 days because i'm so extremely sad.
- i think i need counseling, someone that i don't know because i really don't feel like pastor wentzel or tim can really help me at this point. but i would never ask my mom to consider having me see someone because i know we don't have the money for that (oh yeah, something else that's depressing me).
- i can't handle all of this anymore. i'm suffocating.
"maybe we don't realize how much we're carrying around until we begin to let go of some of it."
- Jamie Tworkowski (founder of the non-profit: to write love on her arms )
...i want to let go of some of this, i want the chains to be unlocked.