all i want is to be held

[livingtohateyou]

whatever it was that we were doing
is over now.

i told you
i wish he would have been so kind as to inform me
especially when he knew
that when nelson did it
it's what truly pissed me off

im not mad at him
he had the right
we werent exclusive
i was just a warm body
for him to push himself up against
that would eagerly push back
now he's found someone to do it naked with
good for him

i feel like a joke
ian didnt tell me
let me make a fool of myself
jessi told me
because that's what friends do
and she knew exactly how i'd react

i've seen him twice since i found out
he hasnt said a word
i hate this awkwordness
i hate that everyone knew
and never told me

this is what i keep telling myself
trying to ignore the fact that it will never be the same

just so you know this isnt bullshit..
i really am not mad at him

will someone else spoon with me now?
all i want is to be held.