you're far too kind, don't ever let it show
at this point, i wonder why i wasted so much on people like...that
they're soul suckers. they take you and use you and steal your heart away.
i'm pretty sure that i didnt do anything wrong except misplace my trust. but i keep making that mistake. especially this particular mistake. i want to think that i'm smarter than to put so much energy into someone who obviously doesnt give two shits about me...so i'll just have to prove it, i guess.
thats just an aside, however. an irritating ghost that resurfaced. a fairly unimportant aside, but right now, its easier to think about him and his make-believe role in my life than to deal with my reality.
school is a given stressor. tests and papers and performances and practicing and and and and... and my family is a given stressor. i'm really worried about my dad. he's getting so sick. it scares me. so, i'm moving home. which brings me to another stressor-- my roomate. i had to tell her. i know she was sick of me before, and now she's probably furious with me. and i'm stuck here till christmas break, having to live with someone who doesnt want to be around me. *shrug*
nothing really worked like i wanted it to and i feel like i'm disappointing everyone.
one day, i'll quit fumbling through things. and i'll know what to do and how to do it right the first time instead of stoping and backing up and restarting all the time. so--here's to picking a different direction.
they're soul suckers. they take you and use you and steal your heart away.
i'm pretty sure that i didnt do anything wrong except misplace my trust. but i keep making that mistake. especially this particular mistake. i want to think that i'm smarter than to put so much energy into someone who obviously doesnt give two shits about me...so i'll just have to prove it, i guess.
thats just an aside, however. an irritating ghost that resurfaced. a fairly unimportant aside, but right now, its easier to think about him and his make-believe role in my life than to deal with my reality.
school is a given stressor. tests and papers and performances and practicing and and and and... and my family is a given stressor. i'm really worried about my dad. he's getting so sick. it scares me. so, i'm moving home. which brings me to another stressor-- my roomate. i had to tell her. i know she was sick of me before, and now she's probably furious with me. and i'm stuck here till christmas break, having to live with someone who doesnt want to be around me. *shrug*
nothing really worked like i wanted it to and i feel like i'm disappointing everyone.
one day, i'll quit fumbling through things. and i'll know what to do and how to do it right the first time instead of stoping and backing up and restarting all the time. so--here's to picking a different direction.