And How You Left Her Alone
When everything is wrong, we move along.
I'm so nervous and frightened and upset. I feel like if I don't get this job, I won't be good enough for anyone. I know it sounds lame and petty, but it's just how I feel. I'm not going to have anyone with me and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't know why I think I can do this or anything.
I feel pressured and I feel alone. Not in an alone sense, but just in a lonely sense... I don't know if that makes sense to anyone, but... I understand it, and this is really only for me anyway.
I don't know if this is actually me or just me being nervous about tomorrow.
Matt has to give his dog away and I can't help but think it's all my fault. Bailey really is so freak'n cute, honestly. Well, she got a little rowdy today and she bit my ear and pulled, drawing much blood and causing much, much pain. Yeah, it hurt, but shit happens. Matt's mom found out and now she is selling Bailey. I can't help but think that it's my fault. If I just acted like it didn't matter or hurt or anything, she still might be a Hunter. I don't know.
This could be my weird altered state of being due to my nervousness, but I can't freak'n help it.
I feel like my entire life is balancing on the brink of "good" or "bad" and tomorrow is the deciding point that makes it clear which is which.
I am lonely.
I am scared.
I am confused.
I am guilty.
I am sorry.
I am so, so sorry.
I'm so nervous and frightened and upset. I feel like if I don't get this job, I won't be good enough for anyone. I know it sounds lame and petty, but it's just how I feel. I'm not going to have anyone with me and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't know why I think I can do this or anything.
I feel pressured and I feel alone. Not in an alone sense, but just in a lonely sense... I don't know if that makes sense to anyone, but... I understand it, and this is really only for me anyway.
I don't know if this is actually me or just me being nervous about tomorrow.
Matt has to give his dog away and I can't help but think it's all my fault. Bailey really is so freak'n cute, honestly. Well, she got a little rowdy today and she bit my ear and pulled, drawing much blood and causing much, much pain. Yeah, it hurt, but shit happens. Matt's mom found out and now she is selling Bailey. I can't help but think that it's my fault. If I just acted like it didn't matter or hurt or anything, she still might be a Hunter. I don't know.
This could be my weird altered state of being due to my nervousness, but I can't freak'n help it.
I feel like my entire life is balancing on the brink of "good" or "bad" and tomorrow is the deciding point that makes it clear which is which.
I am lonely.
I am scared.
I am confused.
I am guilty.
I am sorry.
I am so, so sorry.