(no subject)
Dear friends,
I know that it has been like forever since I have last updated this journal. I feel so guilty about it. If you have gotten disappointed and already stopped reading this, I perfectly understand. It's not like I don't deserve it.
If it's gonna help, let me at least give you one excuse.
I have been going through a very intense character transformation for the past year. I think the character that is coming out is taking a solid shape these days (specially after my 24th birthday), and I'm as interested in knowing the new me, as you probably are.
Right now, it is time for action. I have been a dreamer for the past years (something I am very happy about), and now (over the past few months), I have been given the opportunity to make them, and at the same time, have become aware that I'm no longer a little girl. I don't know which of these two changes has been the main reason for this big change that I am going through, (I would say both has been extremely important factors), but all I know that planting the seeds is over. It's now time to work hard to turn the sprouts into fruitful strong trees. Thats what my life is going to be for the next years.
People here in CMU are amazingly encouraging about many things that I had dreamed about for years. I could not have felt any more grateful to be in CMU. I still believe that even though I got an A for all my courses, I'm still not particularly deserving to be here more than many people who has not gotten the chance. But you know what? I'm here now, and I will definitely use this opportunity to make my trees as strong and worthwhile as possible.
My adviser and I talked a lot about that project that I had been dreaming to do, (which I had actually started to work on, every Friday evening) and he mentioned many new things about it, and is pushing me to do it so much that we have actually started writing a proposal on it.
He is my new idol, by the way. He is so smart and so kind and so fun and so eager to do something to help people in some way. I just feel infinitely honored to spend my time being his student.
You know, someone out there, somewhere, is paving a great road for me. Safe, beautiful, and straight to the bright horizons of my dreams. Again, I don't feel deserving of this. But all I know is that I want to walk it as far as possible until the last moment of my life.
As I told you, now that the road is paved, and the destination is clear, I don't want to do anything except walking down the road, with determined steps. That's why you have seen less of me here. Nothing new is happening. Except that I've started walking down the road that I have been imagining all my life. Everything is as I had dreamed, so all I can write about now is my joy and gratefulness. And I'm sure as patient as you are, you still have a limited capacity for my repetitive thank you god letters :)
I know that it has been like forever since I have last updated this journal. I feel so guilty about it. If you have gotten disappointed and already stopped reading this, I perfectly understand. It's not like I don't deserve it.
If it's gonna help, let me at least give you one excuse.
I have been going through a very intense character transformation for the past year. I think the character that is coming out is taking a solid shape these days (specially after my 24th birthday), and I'm as interested in knowing the new me, as you probably are.
Right now, it is time for action. I have been a dreamer for the past years (something I am very happy about), and now (over the past few months), I have been given the opportunity to make them, and at the same time, have become aware that I'm no longer a little girl. I don't know which of these two changes has been the main reason for this big change that I am going through, (I would say both has been extremely important factors), but all I know that planting the seeds is over. It's now time to work hard to turn the sprouts into fruitful strong trees. Thats what my life is going to be for the next years.
People here in CMU are amazingly encouraging about many things that I had dreamed about for years. I could not have felt any more grateful to be in CMU. I still believe that even though I got an A for all my courses, I'm still not particularly deserving to be here more than many people who has not gotten the chance. But you know what? I'm here now, and I will definitely use this opportunity to make my trees as strong and worthwhile as possible.
My adviser and I talked a lot about that project that I had been dreaming to do, (which I had actually started to work on, every Friday evening) and he mentioned many new things about it, and is pushing me to do it so much that we have actually started writing a proposal on it.
He is my new idol, by the way. He is so smart and so kind and so fun and so eager to do something to help people in some way. I just feel infinitely honored to spend my time being his student.
You know, someone out there, somewhere, is paving a great road for me. Safe, beautiful, and straight to the bright horizons of my dreams. Again, I don't feel deserving of this. But all I know is that I want to walk it as far as possible until the last moment of my life.
As I told you, now that the road is paved, and the destination is clear, I don't want to do anything except walking down the road, with determined steps. That's why you have seen less of me here. Nothing new is happening. Except that I've started walking down the road that I have been imagining all my life. Everything is as I had dreamed, so all I can write about now is my joy and gratefulness. And I'm sure as patient as you are, you still have a limited capacity for my repetitive thank you god letters :)