Between Rests
I woke up this morning much too early for the time that I went to sleep. There were things going on in my head and in my heart and in my soul. Things that stirred me from my sleep and would not let me return to it. As I tried to sort through what was going on inside, I moved from my bed to the floor, because things just sometimes seem clearer there. My thoughts were a deck of cards and I was attempting to lay them out before myself much like a fortune teller. Only I was not trying to figure out the future, only what is happening presently. There are so many things tugging at my heart and I just can't seem to make myself big enough to handle them all. Good thing God is big enough. I stretch myself too thin, saying, "Look there, God. They need me." Or, "I could do so much good over there." I can not be the savior of everything and everyone that crosses my path. I can not fix everything. There are not many things that actually depend on me. God does not need my help for everything. It doesn't all depend on me. I need to decipher the few things that God has given me and focus on those. God has given me this soul and this vessel and this heart and this mind. God has given me my family and the place that I hold in it. I am a big sister. I am a daughter. I am a cousin, a niece, and a grand-daughter. God has brought me to the college group at church. What is my position there? I am a Christian peer in the struggle. I am a mind and heart that is learning and growing in wisdom and faith. I am a shoulder whenever it is needed. I am a non-judgmental ear. I am a sister in Christ.
Beyond these roles I have no say. These are definite and defined. Rather than constantly searching for more opportunities, I need to focus on the ones that I have and allow God to bring others to me. Roles that can be definitely defined by God at the appropriate times.
I need peace.
I need to settle my heart.
Peace.
God is peace and rest. I can rest in Him. He will take the worries and desires of my heart. He is big enough. They are all His anyways. I have been trying to take them away from Him.
God loves me where I am and how I am. He will use me where I am.
Trust God. Trust God. Trust God, not me.
Everything is okay, and I'm fine. I am fine where I am and how I am. God is using me here. I am useful here. God uses me. Everything is good.
Peace.
Confused
In my head
And in my heart
And I swear
When I feel compulsed to be amused
I make mistakes - we all do
Everybody's looking around
And wants to be found
And I'm barely hanging on
I give You all that I am
All that I am. That is enough.
Peace.
O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thought from afar
-Psalm 139:1&2
The LORD knows the thoughts of man,
That they are a mere breath.
Blessed is the man whom You chasten, O LORD,
And whom You teach out of Your law;
That You may grant him relief from the days of
adversity. . .
-Psalm 94:11-13a
Beyond these roles I have no say. These are definite and defined. Rather than constantly searching for more opportunities, I need to focus on the ones that I have and allow God to bring others to me. Roles that can be definitely defined by God at the appropriate times.
I need peace.
I need to settle my heart.
Peace.
God is peace and rest. I can rest in Him. He will take the worries and desires of my heart. He is big enough. They are all His anyways. I have been trying to take them away from Him.
God loves me where I am and how I am. He will use me where I am.
Trust God. Trust God. Trust God, not me.
Everything is okay, and I'm fine. I am fine where I am and how I am. God is using me here. I am useful here. God uses me. Everything is good.
Peace.
Confused
In my head
And in my heart
And I swear
When I feel compulsed to be amused
I make mistakes - we all do
Everybody's looking around
And wants to be found
And I'm barely hanging on
I give You all that I am
All that I am. That is enough.
Peace.
O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thought from afar
-Psalm 139:1&2
The LORD knows the thoughts of man,
That they are a mere breath.
Blessed is the man whom You chasten, O LORD,
And whom You teach out of Your law;
That You may grant him relief from the days of
adversity. . .
-Psalm 94:11-13a