(no subject)
i just watched 'life as a house' with jen. it was a sad, but compelling movie. it reminds you (not that we should have to be reminded) that life is short, and you should show others that you love them as often as possible. this, coupled with my mood lately, has just made me so sentimental. i miss being in love so much. i remember a few times when i would be on the verge of sleep, and trak would come back into bed and whisper that i was beautiful and that he loved me, thinking i was asleep. after that, i always used to pretend i had fallen asleep when he left the room, hoping to catch hearing him say something to me again. i'm really good at pretending i'm asleep. i always used to pretend when i lived in my dad's old apartment. i slept in the living room on the futon, and so when him and kathy were awake, i would pretend to stay asleep and listen. usually they were just fighting, and usually it was about me. i wish that she knew i heard everything she used to say. i used to pretend i was asleep when my mom would check on me before she went to bed. she would always kiss me on the cheek or forehead and tell me 'goodnight princess'. i miss my family. no matter what is going on in my life, i can be around my family and feel whole and happy.
i just want to cuddle with someone i care about.
i just want to cuddle with someone i care about.