Pavement...

[livingdream]

So many life altering/changing decisions to decide
I wish I could hide
crawl up in a hole and die
But I love life
just not mine
not now
not this way
I feel so dazed
confused and abused
fucked up and used
this acid trip is on my mind
I bought a ticket
I'm gonna ride
and I don't want to think
bout' what tomorrow will bring
I live today
next week's my dream
I wake up wondering
about the things
that hold me back
these 'step-back attacks'
these 'I can't do it'
'can't get thru it'
settle for less
then I'll have ruined it
and you may judge me
I know I do
but if you understood
what I go thru
everyday
this life's a haze
wake up to jesus
and sleep to weed it's
just so much
for me to take
so while you sit and talk your hating
I'm curled up in my bed and shaking
tripping good
and soaring high
pupils dilate
close my eyes
and dream of things
that aren't my things
and think of you
how we used to be
It's been 2 days
and I can't sleep
You shake your heads
I sit and weep
you feel inconvenienced
I'm such a creep
what a fuck-up
fill up with disgust
I bet I make you
want to throw up
*grabs a bucket*
you spit
then chuck it
and forget I was ever
there for you
when you went thru
the things you do
cuz the mistakes you made
aren't half as bad
as the ones I make
that make you mad
so now I trip
cuz I'm sick of it
the things that wake me up at night
like screams and rats and hoosier fights
and I don't know
where this road goes
but I'm flyin down it
curvin around it
can't hear the sound it
makes when my brakes
are squeelin'
on the pavement....