Aging Worries
Before having kids, there were three things my mom decided she wanted from her kids. One was that she didn't want us to be racist. The three of us are quite different from each other, but none of us grew up racist. She was so happy when my brother pointed out the boy whose mom insisted she meet us before he could come over, and he described the only black guy on the playground as the boy with the red shirt.
Another goal is she didn't want us to be the kind of kids who scream for things at the check-out counter at grocery stores. The kind who is so obnoxious that you give them the thing just to shut them up. If we had done this, she would have just left the store immediately without buying anything. I do recall that my sister once said, "Mom, I need some smash." But that was in a basically normal tone of voice and was in the aisle with the squash, not at the check-out counter, and she didn't throw a fit when she didn't get it. So Mom succeeded in this goal as well.
I don't recall the third thing, but I do recall that she succeeded there as well, too.
Of course, she says, there were a number of other things she should have thought about ahead of time that didn't turn out as well!
So I've decided to start thinking about what worries me about getting older and to figure out some strategies for dealing with those things.
Losing abilities
The biggest worry is that I will no longer be able to do some of the things I can do now. I recall mourning the loss of my ability to do flips (ugly ones, but flips nonetheless) in my twenties because I became too chicken. That ability is not even important or even very useful. What will I be like when I lose useful abilities? I don't want to become bitter and no fun if I actually still can do plenty of other things.
One obvious solution is to keep practicing the important things so that I don't lose those skills. Keep learning things and otherwise using my brain. Exercise. Reach for things on high shelves. Get up off the floor. That's great as far as it goes, but things do start breaking down as you age anyway. So another strategy is to keep fixing them (with medicine, physical therapy, surgery). And another strategy is to use helpful aids, even if they make me look old (cane, walker, wheelchair--and I'm already wearing glasses). Also, learn sign language.
Another idea is to look at what's most likely to break down and do the things I most want to do that require those abilities sooner rather than later. Are there places I want to hike? Books I want to read? Things I want to make? I think I'm pretty good at keeping up with things like this, actually.
But what if I become so decrepit I can't even drive? People who can't drive probably don't want to deal with buses either and might have trouble riding bikes. How do you get places? There may be some kind of bus for handicapped people. And I guess taxicabs. So you need money. I also read about someone who thinks New York City is perfect for old people because you can have anything delivered there. That's a rather pricy solution as well.
But what if I become too stupid and gullible to deal with my own finances? Yikes. I sure don't want anyone else dealing with them. Fortunately these days it's easier to automate things.
Looking old
If I live long enough, there will come the day when I look like just another old person instead of like myself. Yes, yes sunscreen. I'm not dying my hair, though (smelly, messy, expensive, possible stings). (Well, maybe I'll henna it once--red is so pretty.)
I may get into hats and/or scarves.
Getting boring
I don't want to be one of those people who just talks about my never-ending medical problems (and I am totally a person who talks about my medical problems--they are a part of me!). Or I knew one couple that talked only about restaurants and routes to places.
I think if I can just keep my mouth shut about boring things (and things I've already said to the people I'm talking with), I will always be trying to do other things as well that are of some interest to some people.
Running out of friends
There came a point in my Grandma Miller's life when she had outlived all her friends. Yes, she could make more friends, but there is a big difference between new friends and friends of sixty-plus years.
This is a real danger to me, too. Currently, I mostly hang around people my age, people ten years older, and people ten years younger. Well, I will be auditing classes and tutoring kids, so maybe all is not lost.
Running out of money
This could certainly happen. But the house is paid off. I will have a state pension big enough to cover all my basic expenses plus some extras--that's for life, but it might not keep up with inflation or might even be reduced at some point. (Similarly, Social Security.) I have a Roth IRA made of index funds--even though I've been maxing it out since it was invented, that turns out not to add up to much, but since I won't need it until my needs increase, it can grow (and plummet) as a safety net. I have a few I-bonds, dividend growth stocks, and speculative stocks as well.
I sometimes think my city might become too horrible (corrupt, hot, expensive) for me to want to live here anymore (or all my friends will get jobs with Google and move to California), but most other places I would like would cost more.
And I'm too poor to have long-term-care insurance. I may also have to figure out how marriage and joint financial accounts affect finances when one person gets sick enough to need all the money or their business goes down the tubes or something.
But mostly, I'm not too worried about this area. Admittedly because there's nothing more I'm willing to do in this area (besides learn new frugality skills).
Fixing up the house
I should maybe think about making my house more accessible while it's still fairly easy. Certainly keep working on getting rid of the clutter! (I've heard that you can get tax breaks for doing things like adding grab bars to your bathtub area--but not until you already need them, by which time you probably can't do it yourself anymore. Doh!)
Another goal is she didn't want us to be the kind of kids who scream for things at the check-out counter at grocery stores. The kind who is so obnoxious that you give them the thing just to shut them up. If we had done this, she would have just left the store immediately without buying anything. I do recall that my sister once said, "Mom, I need some smash." But that was in a basically normal tone of voice and was in the aisle with the squash, not at the check-out counter, and she didn't throw a fit when she didn't get it. So Mom succeeded in this goal as well.
I don't recall the third thing, but I do recall that she succeeded there as well, too.
Of course, she says, there were a number of other things she should have thought about ahead of time that didn't turn out as well!
So I've decided to start thinking about what worries me about getting older and to figure out some strategies for dealing with those things.
Losing abilities
The biggest worry is that I will no longer be able to do some of the things I can do now. I recall mourning the loss of my ability to do flips (ugly ones, but flips nonetheless) in my twenties because I became too chicken. That ability is not even important or even very useful. What will I be like when I lose useful abilities? I don't want to become bitter and no fun if I actually still can do plenty of other things.
One obvious solution is to keep practicing the important things so that I don't lose those skills. Keep learning things and otherwise using my brain. Exercise. Reach for things on high shelves. Get up off the floor. That's great as far as it goes, but things do start breaking down as you age anyway. So another strategy is to keep fixing them (with medicine, physical therapy, surgery). And another strategy is to use helpful aids, even if they make me look old (cane, walker, wheelchair--and I'm already wearing glasses). Also, learn sign language.
Another idea is to look at what's most likely to break down and do the things I most want to do that require those abilities sooner rather than later. Are there places I want to hike? Books I want to read? Things I want to make? I think I'm pretty good at keeping up with things like this, actually.
But what if I become so decrepit I can't even drive? People who can't drive probably don't want to deal with buses either and might have trouble riding bikes. How do you get places? There may be some kind of bus for handicapped people. And I guess taxicabs. So you need money. I also read about someone who thinks New York City is perfect for old people because you can have anything delivered there. That's a rather pricy solution as well.
But what if I become too stupid and gullible to deal with my own finances? Yikes. I sure don't want anyone else dealing with them. Fortunately these days it's easier to automate things.
Looking old
If I live long enough, there will come the day when I look like just another old person instead of like myself. Yes, yes sunscreen. I'm not dying my hair, though (smelly, messy, expensive, possible stings). (Well, maybe I'll henna it once--red is so pretty.)
I may get into hats and/or scarves.
Getting boring
I don't want to be one of those people who just talks about my never-ending medical problems (and I am totally a person who talks about my medical problems--they are a part of me!). Or I knew one couple that talked only about restaurants and routes to places.
I think if I can just keep my mouth shut about boring things (and things I've already said to the people I'm talking with), I will always be trying to do other things as well that are of some interest to some people.
Running out of friends
There came a point in my Grandma Miller's life when she had outlived all her friends. Yes, she could make more friends, but there is a big difference between new friends and friends of sixty-plus years.
This is a real danger to me, too. Currently, I mostly hang around people my age, people ten years older, and people ten years younger. Well, I will be auditing classes and tutoring kids, so maybe all is not lost.
Running out of money
This could certainly happen. But the house is paid off. I will have a state pension big enough to cover all my basic expenses plus some extras--that's for life, but it might not keep up with inflation or might even be reduced at some point. (Similarly, Social Security.) I have a Roth IRA made of index funds--even though I've been maxing it out since it was invented, that turns out not to add up to much, but since I won't need it until my needs increase, it can grow (and plummet) as a safety net. I have a few I-bonds, dividend growth stocks, and speculative stocks as well.
I sometimes think my city might become too horrible (corrupt, hot, expensive) for me to want to live here anymore (or all my friends will get jobs with Google and move to California), but most other places I would like would cost more.
And I'm too poor to have long-term-care insurance. I may also have to figure out how marriage and joint financial accounts affect finances when one person gets sick enough to need all the money or their business goes down the tubes or something.
But mostly, I'm not too worried about this area. Admittedly because there's nothing more I'm willing to do in this area (besides learn new frugality skills).
Fixing up the house
I should maybe think about making my house more accessible while it's still fairly easy. Certainly keep working on getting rid of the clutter! (I've heard that you can get tax breaks for doing things like adding grab bars to your bathtub area--but not until you already need them, by which time you probably can't do it yourself anymore. Doh!)