Changes, "Chuck," and Checking Another Thing Off the List
The family lore says I hate change and that I've always hated change. When I was born, I refused to breathe for a while. I never had to breathe before, obviously, why start now? Just let me back in that warm place.
I'm now above average at handling moving (having practiced so much), but the first time we moved, I screamed for hours and hours. I think it might have been two or three days. My poor mother!
Today I realized that maybe it's not change I don't like, it's having things break. You know, like perfectly good umbilical chords. I dread when someone says we're going to update some software. I now realize that my feelings are not because I fear change or I hate technology but because I know the new software will be buggy. So things that used to be somewhat time-consuming and alternately boring and frustrating become extremely time-consuming and alternately boring, frustrating, and impossible. I actually like progress. Of course I like progress. What I don't like is regress.
I have lived through two software changes in my current job and really want to get out before the mother of all software changes (from the perspective of my job) gets started. I just don't have it in me anymore. Maybe it's because I found two broken things today, within 15 minutes of each other, right when I thought I was going to have time to work on my favorite job duty. It's not so bad in a new job where I'm used to being ignorant and incompetent. But after eight years I should know what I'm doing enough to actually be able to just do it and not still be banging my head against the wall.
The only time I ever quit a job without having another lined up was when I realized I could never reach the bare minimum of competence I wanted to reach. (I timed how long someone was waiting in line at my grocery store register and it was 30 minutes. Even if I became as awesome of a sacker as the most awesome person I've seen, I couldn't have brought it down to less than 25 minutes because everyone had such gigantic cartloads at that store. That's not acceptable. It's depressing. I'm getting that same feeling now. I just don't have the proper tools to ever be able to do as good of a job as I want to. Especially when they keep breaking and re-setting the tools.)
I am tired. My head hurts. If only I could live on $300 per month, I could quit working forever.
**
Robin and I recently discovered the TV show "Chuck." It's about an underemployed geek who is forced to do spy work. And hang around hot babes. And also Adam Baldwin, playing someone Jayne-like again (though not as funny as Whedon used to write Jayne).
I love that Chuck is awesome at his job--he's both technically adept and good at dealing with customers. Also, the plot is always surprising me. Also, the computer stuff isn't so fake that it annoys even me (except one time they just couldn't resist "enhancing" a photo to discover more details--grr). And there's some "Office Space"-like fun-making of an all-too-common work culture. Some of the characters are hard to like, but they are mostly harmless and don't bring down the show too much.
The show is in its second season. Deb-Bob says, "Check it out!"
**
Okay, enough with the plummeting. It can stop now. I have now lived through a big, scary stock market plummet. I've checked it off my list. See? Checked off! Done! Ready to move on.
I'm now above average at handling moving (having practiced so much), but the first time we moved, I screamed for hours and hours. I think it might have been two or three days. My poor mother!
Today I realized that maybe it's not change I don't like, it's having things break. You know, like perfectly good umbilical chords. I dread when someone says we're going to update some software. I now realize that my feelings are not because I fear change or I hate technology but because I know the new software will be buggy. So things that used to be somewhat time-consuming and alternately boring and frustrating become extremely time-consuming and alternately boring, frustrating, and impossible. I actually like progress. Of course I like progress. What I don't like is regress.
I have lived through two software changes in my current job and really want to get out before the mother of all software changes (from the perspective of my job) gets started. I just don't have it in me anymore. Maybe it's because I found two broken things today, within 15 minutes of each other, right when I thought I was going to have time to work on my favorite job duty. It's not so bad in a new job where I'm used to being ignorant and incompetent. But after eight years I should know what I'm doing enough to actually be able to just do it and not still be banging my head against the wall.
The only time I ever quit a job without having another lined up was when I realized I could never reach the bare minimum of competence I wanted to reach. (I timed how long someone was waiting in line at my grocery store register and it was 30 minutes. Even if I became as awesome of a sacker as the most awesome person I've seen, I couldn't have brought it down to less than 25 minutes because everyone had such gigantic cartloads at that store. That's not acceptable. It's depressing. I'm getting that same feeling now. I just don't have the proper tools to ever be able to do as good of a job as I want to. Especially when they keep breaking and re-setting the tools.)
I am tired. My head hurts. If only I could live on $300 per month, I could quit working forever.
**
Robin and I recently discovered the TV show "Chuck." It's about an underemployed geek who is forced to do spy work. And hang around hot babes. And also Adam Baldwin, playing someone Jayne-like again (though not as funny as Whedon used to write Jayne).
I love that Chuck is awesome at his job--he's both technically adept and good at dealing with customers. Also, the plot is always surprising me. Also, the computer stuff isn't so fake that it annoys even me (except one time they just couldn't resist "enhancing" a photo to discover more details--grr). And there's some "Office Space"-like fun-making of an all-too-common work culture. Some of the characters are hard to like, but they are mostly harmless and don't bring down the show too much.
The show is in its second season. Deb-Bob says, "Check it out!"
**
Okay, enough with the plummeting. It can stop now. I have now lived through a big, scary stock market plummet. I've checked it off my list. See? Checked off! Done! Ready to move on.