I just want to be happy.
I am so tired of being unhappy.
I don't really have that many problems in my life. None that are just horrible and able to keep me from being happy. It's just...me. It's my head. I actually have most of what I've always wanted. Someone who loves me, even though they know how messed up I am. Yet, still, I can't be happy.
I think that's what depression is. Just something in your head that makes it near impossible to be happy, no matter what the circumstances. Sure...I can be happy -sometimes-. But it's always short lived. I remember when the smallest things like watching my favorite TV shows would make me happy. Now...I hardly even enjoy that anymore.
I'm so afraid sometimes that I'll never get better. Then, I wouldn't blame Matt if he left me. Who would want to be with someone who is always sad or anxious or annoyed? Hopefully, I will get better though. If not...well...
I don't really have that many problems in my life. None that are just horrible and able to keep me from being happy. It's just...me. It's my head. I actually have most of what I've always wanted. Someone who loves me, even though they know how messed up I am. Yet, still, I can't be happy.
I think that's what depression is. Just something in your head that makes it near impossible to be happy, no matter what the circumstances. Sure...I can be happy -sometimes-. But it's always short lived. I remember when the smallest things like watching my favorite TV shows would make me happy. Now...I hardly even enjoy that anymore.
I'm so afraid sometimes that I'll never get better. Then, I wouldn't blame Matt if he left me. Who would want to be with someone who is always sad or anxious or annoyed? Hopefully, I will get better though. If not...well...