Longest....Entry....Ever.
It's been a hell of a few days. I feel very drained, but at peace. Finally.
Last night at the visitation, I did better than I ever imagined I would have. I stayed composed for the first couple of hours, and did a pretty good job circulating among millions of relatives and friends, a lot of who I didn't know by name. I got plenty of "Oh, you're so tall!" and "You must play basketball, don't you?" ["Congratulations! You're capable of pointing out the blatantly obvious."] ~Proof as to why I never feel the urge to wear heels. I think the only reason I did ok is because I kept my back to the casket most of time. I felt the need to stay really stong because I noticed that when I was doing alright, my Dad was doing alright too. I don't really know why that is, but I noticed it yesterday. During the prayer service towards the end, I shed one tear and grabbed his hand, and I looked over and he shed one tear as well.
I love that man so much. It's unbelievable. My sister gets along best with my Mom, my brother pretty much gets along with both equally, and I've always had a special connection with my Dad. So much of the good that I have in me comes from him. He's my rock, always making sure I'm doing just fine.
At the very end of that prayer service, the doors were opened and I saw Kiel walking in on his crutches. I couldn't believe that he really came. I ran into his arms and totally lost my composure. There's something about him that just makes me feel so comforted and loved. I knew I didn't have to be strong anymore because I felt so safe when he was holding me. There are only two places in the world where I feel safe: Holding my Daddy's hand, and being in Kiel's arms. I'm so thankful that I had both last night. I needed it so badly.
"I think to myself, this love is a beautiful gift. I have been blessed, with so much more than I deserve. I thank God for all I've been given at the end of each day, to be here with the ones who love me, to love them so much it hurts. I have been blessed." ~Martina McBride
Mrs. DiBrito came up to me and told me that we should get a plague for my Grandfather and put it on the place that he always sat at my basketball games. That hit me hard, but I'm so happy that he had been a part of my life like that.
I walked out into the lobby area of the funeral home at one point last night, and there were about twenty deaf people sitting by the fire, all signing to each other, one of which was my Aunt. I was amazed. I stared because watching them communicate with each other like that was so interesting, and an eye-opener as well.
Some relatives came over for a nice dinner that my Aunt Sue made for us, and Kiel came too. He must've been hurting the whole time, but he never even mentioned it. I was so moved. One of my Aunts is deaf, as I mentioned earlier, and her boyfriend is disabled, and walks with arm supports. They were both there, and I could totally understand how that could make someone feel uncomfortable just because they're not used to it, but when I took Kiel home, he said, "Thanks for having me back to your house with your family. I felt so blessed to be there." He's the man.
I can't believe they put a picture of him yelling and clutching his knee in the Gazette though. Why is it that those photographers always take pictures of crying people? I don't care how much you love drama, those aren't the moments you want to remember. It's almost as bad as the infamous picture of Kim Cody with the "free moustache rides" hat. That one was funny though. lol
I came home last night and ate Spaghettios and watched South Park and Chappelle's Show with Rick. I miss him like the dickens when he's at college. It felt like old times.
I moved so slow getting up this morning. I think something in my subconscious told me to take my time because it wasn't exactly a day that I was eager to begin. The service this morning was nice. I love Father Bill. He's such a great person. There was even an interpreter who did sign language for my Aunt and the friends who came to support her. I volunteered to read the intentions. It was soo hard to do without crying. My Mom came up to me at the very end and said, "That was the hardest job of the whole day. You proved something very special to your father, and I'm sure grandpa is thinking that you can do so much more than play basketball." My family is amazing. She's a concrete angel.
"I believe there are angels among us, brought down to us from someone up above." ~Alabama
It's times like these that renew my faith in people. Everyone was so wonderful. Thanks to each and every one of you who took time out of your busy schedule to be there for my family. Thank you to all of my girls. Even my Mom cried when she saw all of you. You made for one kick ass support group. Thanks to Brian, Dan, and Tony, for driving all the way to St.Joe to bring Kiel last night. You guys are the greatest. (Sorry about my dislexic directions by the way.) Thanks to Andrea and Beth for the happiest-looking flowers ever. Thanks to Merry for the voicemail, thanks to Pat for the hugs, and thanks to Julie for the e-mail. Thank you Kiel for holding such a big piece of my heart. Thank you everyone. You're angels. I appreciate you all so much. Even the lady at the movie store pulled out new releases for my Mom because she knew that she comes in every Tuesday. The world is a wonderful place.
My Dad has six brothers and sisters. I want a big family.
~Rest in peace Grandpa. "You done good." You gave the world seven wonderful children, and a lifetime of memories for your grandchildren. I'm a better person for having known you. Look down on us every now and then, listen for my prayers, and send my love to Grandma.~
"Carry on, Carry On, Sweet Southern Comfort, Carry On..." ~Buddy Jewell
Last night at the visitation, I did better than I ever imagined I would have. I stayed composed for the first couple of hours, and did a pretty good job circulating among millions of relatives and friends, a lot of who I didn't know by name. I got plenty of "Oh, you're so tall!" and "You must play basketball, don't you?" ["Congratulations! You're capable of pointing out the blatantly obvious."] ~Proof as to why I never feel the urge to wear heels. I think the only reason I did ok is because I kept my back to the casket most of time. I felt the need to stay really stong because I noticed that when I was doing alright, my Dad was doing alright too. I don't really know why that is, but I noticed it yesterday. During the prayer service towards the end, I shed one tear and grabbed his hand, and I looked over and he shed one tear as well.
I love that man so much. It's unbelievable. My sister gets along best with my Mom, my brother pretty much gets along with both equally, and I've always had a special connection with my Dad. So much of the good that I have in me comes from him. He's my rock, always making sure I'm doing just fine.
At the very end of that prayer service, the doors were opened and I saw Kiel walking in on his crutches. I couldn't believe that he really came. I ran into his arms and totally lost my composure. There's something about him that just makes me feel so comforted and loved. I knew I didn't have to be strong anymore because I felt so safe when he was holding me. There are only two places in the world where I feel safe: Holding my Daddy's hand, and being in Kiel's arms. I'm so thankful that I had both last night. I needed it so badly.
"I think to myself, this love is a beautiful gift. I have been blessed, with so much more than I deserve. I thank God for all I've been given at the end of each day, to be here with the ones who love me, to love them so much it hurts. I have been blessed." ~Martina McBride
Mrs. DiBrito came up to me and told me that we should get a plague for my Grandfather and put it on the place that he always sat at my basketball games. That hit me hard, but I'm so happy that he had been a part of my life like that.
I walked out into the lobby area of the funeral home at one point last night, and there were about twenty deaf people sitting by the fire, all signing to each other, one of which was my Aunt. I was amazed. I stared because watching them communicate with each other like that was so interesting, and an eye-opener as well.
Some relatives came over for a nice dinner that my Aunt Sue made for us, and Kiel came too. He must've been hurting the whole time, but he never even mentioned it. I was so moved. One of my Aunts is deaf, as I mentioned earlier, and her boyfriend is disabled, and walks with arm supports. They were both there, and I could totally understand how that could make someone feel uncomfortable just because they're not used to it, but when I took Kiel home, he said, "Thanks for having me back to your house with your family. I felt so blessed to be there." He's the man.
I can't believe they put a picture of him yelling and clutching his knee in the Gazette though. Why is it that those photographers always take pictures of crying people? I don't care how much you love drama, those aren't the moments you want to remember. It's almost as bad as the infamous picture of Kim Cody with the "free moustache rides" hat. That one was funny though. lol
I came home last night and ate Spaghettios and watched South Park and Chappelle's Show with Rick. I miss him like the dickens when he's at college. It felt like old times.
I moved so slow getting up this morning. I think something in my subconscious told me to take my time because it wasn't exactly a day that I was eager to begin. The service this morning was nice. I love Father Bill. He's such a great person. There was even an interpreter who did sign language for my Aunt and the friends who came to support her. I volunteered to read the intentions. It was soo hard to do without crying. My Mom came up to me at the very end and said, "That was the hardest job of the whole day. You proved something very special to your father, and I'm sure grandpa is thinking that you can do so much more than play basketball." My family is amazing. She's a concrete angel.
"I believe there are angels among us, brought down to us from someone up above." ~Alabama
It's times like these that renew my faith in people. Everyone was so wonderful. Thanks to each and every one of you who took time out of your busy schedule to be there for my family. Thank you to all of my girls. Even my Mom cried when she saw all of you. You made for one kick ass support group. Thanks to Brian, Dan, and Tony, for driving all the way to St.Joe to bring Kiel last night. You guys are the greatest. (Sorry about my dislexic directions by the way.) Thanks to Andrea and Beth for the happiest-looking flowers ever. Thanks to Merry for the voicemail, thanks to Pat for the hugs, and thanks to Julie for the e-mail. Thank you Kiel for holding such a big piece of my heart. Thank you everyone. You're angels. I appreciate you all so much. Even the lady at the movie store pulled out new releases for my Mom because she knew that she comes in every Tuesday. The world is a wonderful place.
My Dad has six brothers and sisters. I want a big family.
~Rest in peace Grandpa. "You done good." You gave the world seven wonderful children, and a lifetime of memories for your grandchildren. I'm a better person for having known you. Look down on us every now and then, listen for my prayers, and send my love to Grandma.~
"Carry on, Carry On, Sweet Southern Comfort, Carry On..." ~Buddy Jewell